If Only
by wildfire1980
Summary: Alternate Universe based on a human version of Data - Daystrom Soong, whose attraction has no bounds when it comes to a certain security chief. Will he win her over or ultimately drive her away? - *NOW REVISED!*
1. Just Too Soon

**Star Trek: TNG Alternate Universe**

**Rating: T (eventually an M)**

**Pairing: Data/Tasha **(or in this universe Daystrom/Tasha)

This is based on the version introduced to us by Elly, entitiled, **"Do Androids Dream..." **Daystrom Soong was her creation as an alternate human version of the android Data that we all know and love. I am not completely sticking to her timeline. I am basically borrowing the name Daystrom Soong from her because I didn't want the human "Data" to be named, well, Data. I thought that a human version of him would have a much different name; also a much different personality, taking in account the personalities of both his parents, Noonian and Julianna Soong. I will try my best to stay true to whom Data was while also staying true to who I think he would have been if he were human. More will be explained on his background as the story progresses.

Tasha and Data belong to Paramount Pictures, I do not own them. There are also references to Darryl Adin who is a character in the novel, "Survivors" by Jean Lorrah. He does not belong to me either. If anyone has not read "Do Androids Dream," please do so. It is wonderfully written. In fact, the writing was so beautifully done that I was caught up in just how Daystrom Soong and Tasha Yar met and eventually got together. That is where this story begins. Everyone please check out Elly's version of this story. It is an awesome read!

The initial five chapters of this story are being reviewed and revised by bookfan87. And I just want to thank her for all her hard work and help with subsequent chapters. You are awesome bookfan87.

Everyone please be kind: this is my first attempt at an ST:TNG fanfic. _But please review if you are enjoying the story..._

**Chapter 1 **~** "Just Too Soon"**

**-x-x-x-**

Daystrom Soong was sitting at his desk as he was finishing up his report on the Ardullians' situation. A planet who had been in a civil war for many years was now in the process of peace talks between the two colonies. A truce that was successful thanks to the Captain.

Finally he was finishing up his report and getting it ready to be logged into the ship's computers as he signed his name off on it. He paused for a moment staring at the name on the report: _Daystrom Soong_. It was an odd name of course: he knew that. But if his father was anything, he was odd. His mother was more "down to earth," as they would say. After Noonian named Lore, she was hell-bent on him not naming Daystrom, since he had an odd sense of humor when it came to their children's names. But he'd convinced her to name him after one of the most famous institutes around, claiming that it made sense to name him after a cybernetics institute considering that he would be the son of two cyberneticists.

So now he was stuck with it, but thank God his friends later shortened it down to "Day". After all, it could have been much worse. His father could have been successful in his quests to create an artificial lifeform, and then he just would have been nothing more than a walking computer full of useless data.

His door chimed and he raised his head in the direction of the noise.

"Enter."

Geordi purposefully strode in front of Day's desk while taking a seat on the edge of it.

"Day, you need to get out of here. You've done nothing for the past two weeks but work and become a hermit. It's time to go out."

He couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I'm not a hermit, I'm merely on a quest of avoidance."

Geordi stood back to his feet and crossed his arms, while shaking his head.

"Day, you see her on the bridge every day. You can't avoid her."

He raised his eyes and pointed his finger at him. "Ahhh...You are wrong 'sir', I can avoid her _juuust fiiiiine_. Besides, on the bridge my back is turned to her the whole time. So there!"

Geordi motioned his head in a slight upward direction where Day knew if he didn't have that stupid visor on he would most definitely be rolling his eyes at him.

"Look Geordi, I'm fine. Really. Don't worry."

Geordi uncrossed his arms and placed them on the each side of the desk as he leaned in to respond.

"If that's the case Day, then go to Ten Forward with me. Let's get a drink and get you out of your quarters for awhile. Come on, I won't keep you long. Just long enough to take a breather."

Day stood up and began to walk around his desk.

"Fine, but Geordi, I swear if I see her I'm turning around. Fair enough?"

Geordi put his arm around him as they walked out.

"Fair enough."

**-x-x-x-**

Geordi La Forge and Daystrom Soong walked into Ten Forward together, which turned out to be a big mistake. Because if avoiding her was his goal, he failed miserably. The object of Day's affection was sitting at one of the tables in the far right corner - and she was not alone. The abrupt stop he made after walking through the doors only caused him to focus more intently on the sight before him.

"Day, just let it go."

Geordi's words startled him out of his thoughts as he looked over to his best friend.

"Hmm...What?"

His friend chuckled at the realization that Day thought he was so completely oblivious to the situation at hand.

"Look Day, you're staring daggers at Tasha and Rich. Hell, you're so obvious that everyone in Ten Forward knows what you're thinking!"

He slowly resumed walking again. As he caught up to Geordi he whispered his next words as if he thought all of the patrons around were listening in -which probably wasn't far off considering that the gossip of the crew here lately consisted of whether or not his relationship with Tasha Yar was still professional, or something much more.

"What in the hell is the matter with her? I mean she moves pretty quick, doesn't she?"

Geordi leaned against the bar placing a quick order for him and Day while gathering his words carefully before speaking.

"Well, Day, you _did_ tell her that moving on was a good idea. Did you expect her to lie down and wait for you to come around, or take your advice and move on?"

Day turned his back to Tasha and (who he now learned was) Lieutenant Rich Dowis, one of Tasha's own junior officers. What was it with her and the men who worked in security anyway? First Dare, then Travis (before their little reunification due to that virus); now _this_ guy. Did she not realize how stupid it was to date someone under your own command? Although he was one to be talking, considering he was _sleeping with _one under his! And not with just anyone - with _her_.

Jealousy was running rampant through his veins and he knew it. As a matter of fact, right then at that very moment he thought the situation quite ironic considering it was normally she who was becoming jealous over him and some young ensign throwing themselves at him. Now the roles were reversed and he was at a loss as to how to handle the situation, or the emotion for that matter. No other woman ever provoked that in him. He never really cared to invest that much emotion into a relationship. That much...love.

_Whoa_, he thought, _did I just use that word? _He'd always prided himself on being a loner. Of course he was known as having a chivalrous nature but a loner nonetheless. He supposed he got that from his father, since he was so withdrawn and so non-sociable with those around him, even to his own wife and sons. He was always driven by his dream of achieving an artificial lifeform. And it was quite ironic indeed, that the woman now seated only a few feet away from him prided herself on being the same exact way: a loner.

How odd it was that God would choose that trait to be engrained in Tasha (of all people) as well. Day briefly toyed with the possibility that maybe Q was behind the whole situation, considering how he liked to play with the lives of the crew as if they were pawns in a game of chess. The sound of their drinks being placed upon the bar brought him out of his reverie.

"But does she have to do it so..._soon_? It's only been a week since we decided that-"

Geordi interrupted him,"You mean since _you_ decided to go your separate ways ...Right?"

Day noticed how Geordi placed vocal emphasis on the "you" part. He was really starting to get annoyed with his friend's defensive attitude toward Tasha. Whose best friend was he anyway - his or Tasha's?

"Yes, since _I_ made that decision," he reluctantly conceded, "but with good reason."

His defensiveness regarding his actions suddenly came spilling out:

"Did you not know that when we were observing Praxa a few years back, when Tasha and I got together that she was still with Dare?"

Geordi was taking a sip of his drink as he raised his eyebrows at Day's response. _There - now everything is out on the table, _he thought. His defenses were all exposed now - his reasoning laid out for his best friend to see.

"Day, that was _six years _ago - long before you were both assigned to the Enterprise! Besides, Dare had already been accused of conspiring with the Orions and was in confinement during that time awaiting trial..."

Day just stared down at the countertop of the bar, cupping his drink between both hands, listening as Geordi continued on:

"Look...Maybe she knew deep down that it was over between the two of them, and that's why she hooked up with you. Then again, maybe she just decided she found someone better. You know, you and Tasha have always had some kind of connection. I have never seen two people drawn to each other like that before! How many people do you know of that, after three years of being apart - suddenly finding themselves assigned to the same ship - attract like two magnets once again? Who knows what she was really thinking? Maybe, just maybe you should ask her."

Day looked up from his drink and stared him in the eye as he could feel his blood begin to boil. He mocked back his friend's advice.

"Ask her? And just what exactly do you think I need to ask her, Geordi?"

He waved his hands up in the air as his irritation grew.

"You want me to ask her why she never told me about Dare while on Praxa? Or maybe I should ask her if I was just a rebound since her lovely fiancé was locked up!"

His voice was growing louder with a hint of agitation in it. He pointed over to the corner where the objects of his conversation sat and continued on.

"Or hell, let's go one step further... Maybe I should ask her if she ever even cared _at all_ considering she's sitting over there with that prick!"

Geordi held his hands up in a gesture to let Day know that he didn't mean to push his buttons, while saying just one word in defense.

"Was!"

Day lowered his hand as the agitation that was upon his face was replaced with confusion. Geordi pointed over to the corner of the lounge where Tasha and Rich were sitting.

"_Was_ sitting with a prick. They left, and I'm just guessing here, but probably when they heard you ranting."

Day lowered his head into his hands on the bar, defeat obvious in the slump of his shoulders, as he began speaking his thoughts out loud. He let out a deep breath.

"I need a drink!"

Geordi began laughing and pointed to the drink in front of him.

"You have a drink, Day."

Slowly he raised his head up, turning to focus on his friend.

"No, I need something..._stronger_," holding up his drink to emphasize his meaning, "Something stronger than this. Care to join me?"

Shaking his head "no," Geordi leaned in to whisper his words to his friend.

"Day, you know as well as I do that...well, that is not a very wise decision considering the reason behind it."

With his agitation growing once again, Day slammed his drink down on the counter spilling some of it's contents from the force of it as he answered Geordi's candid observation.

"If you won't join me, then I'll just drink away my regrets alone! Besides, some Romulan ale sounds pretty good to me right now."

As he turned to walk away, Geordi grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.

"Day, if you do this you'll just be adding to those regrets. Just go home and cool down. Give yourself some time, then go and talk to her."

He wished he was much better at taking advice; but unfortunately he seemed to inherit his father's rebellious streak as well as his social reclusivity. Now here he sat in his quarters two hours later, with his Romulan ale in hand and the thoughts of Tasha and Rich in his head. Not a good combination. As drunk as he was, even he realized that.

Besides, why should he really care what (or _who_!) she was doing?, he reasoned. During Darryl Adin's visit to the _Enterprise_, Darryl had smugly revealed their relationship was still intact while she was on Praxa with him - a little piece of information that she'd conveniently left out for the past few years, of course. How dare her play him for a fool for so long! How could he trust her now? She was most definitely living up to her reputation as a woman whose bad luck tended to follow each relationship she involved herself in.

Hell, she couldn't even divulge that little piece of information to him! So what made him think that he could ever trust her about anything else? Instead of sitting here and drinking this crap that the Romulans call their best kind of liquor, he should be on his way to confront her - give her a piece of his mind. Tell her just exactly what he thought about her little secret!

But then again, a drunk senior officer roaming the halls of the _Enterprise_ looking for the lover who spurned him wasn't such a good idea. Was it? He sat up and flatly queried, "Computer, give me the location of Lieutenant Tasha Yar."

Immediately the computer's voice responded, "Lieutenant Yar is located in Holodeck Four."

Hesitantly he asked another question, all the while damning his inquiring nature, not sure if he truly wanted to know the answer to it:

"Computer, give me the location of Lieutenant Rich Dowis."

Scarcely aware he'd been holding his breath, he strained his ears as the computer's voice filled his quarters,"Lieutenant Dowis is located in Holodeck Four."

_Oh hell no! _Rage filled his entire being. No doubt they're having some romantic dinner oceanside on a replication of Targus One...or worse, kissing, or...

_Damn this Romulan ale!,_ he thought, and damn his rebellious nature! Drunk or not, he decided to take Geordi's advice after all. He did return to his quarters and think it over; and now he was going to talk to her. Never mind the effects that the ale was having upon his staggering frame, let alone his thoughts. He was certain that with the amount of adrenaline that was rising up within his body - after learning that after two hours, his Tasha was still with that prick - he could most definitely make it to the holodeck with no problem considering how pissed he was.


	2. Why Must Our Jealousy Rage?

**ST: TNG Alt. Universe**

**Title: If Only**

**Pairings: Data/Tasha**

**Rating: T (for now)**

**The introduction of the Rutian Planet and the Ansata was an idea that came from an ST:TNG episode about the planet and its terrorists. Their creation belongs to Paramount and not to me. Please leave reviews if you are enjoying the story.**

Chapter 2 ~ "Why must our jealousy rage?"

**-x-x-x-**

Another quick jab by Tasha sent Rich falling backwards onto the mat.

"Rich, If you're ever gonna pass the exam you have to learn how to anticipate your opponent's next move."

She lowered a hand down to help him off of the ground.

"I know. I guess I still need to work on my defensive tactics a little more."

She noticed blood seeping from the corner of his lip. Instinctively reaching up to look at the damage, she turned his face to the side and spoke in a commanding tone.

"Be still and let me see!"

Suddenly, they both turned to the opening of the holodeck doors as Day walked through. Tasha quickly brought her hand down, steadying her breathing as she heard his familiar voice fill the air.

"Oh please, don't let me interrupt you," he said, his hand gesturing between the two of them standing in front of him. "Obviously I _was_ interrupting _something_," His eyes pierced into Tasha's as he said the last words accusingly. "...Wasn't I?"

_This is starting to get old_, Tasha thought. The guy tells her to move on and then at the first sign of interest from another man, he flips out! This was gonna be fun. Soon the sarcasm that he was so famous for (and to which she in turn was so oddly attracted) would be appearing.

Day abruptly put his hand out to shake Rich's.

"Commander Daystrom Soong. Nice to meet you, er..."

Tasha rolled her eyes at the fake gesture. _Oh yeah, here we go..._. She knew it would rear its ugly head sooner or later. The sound of the other man's voice broke her thoughts.

"Rich."

Day snapped his fingers as if to insinuate that he suddenly remembered the other man's name; but Tasha knew he just didn't care to remember.

"That's it - Rich!"

After a long pause and what seemed to be some awkward looks from the pair, Day finally broke the silence yet again.

"So, Rich, do you mind leaving me alone with the Lieutenant for a moment?"

Rich looked back questioningly at Tasha, who slowly shook her head back and forth as she mouthed the word _no_, confirming his suspicion that Day's presence had upset her emotional balance.

Rich looked back at Day who apparently never took his eyes off of the man. "Well, Commander, that all depends on if she wants to be left alone with you."

Looking down, Day pinched the bridge of his nose and then reopening his eyes looked back at Rich, his agitation very visible. Tasha could tell that the pissing contest was about to begin.

"Look, boy, don't go getting all noble with me, or from the looks of that lip you'll be carrying home another beatin'!"

_Oh yeah, the mature part of the evening has started_... Tasha grabbed hold of Day's chest with one hand pushing him back against the wall while "shooing" Rich away with the other. Waiting until she heard the closing of the holodeck doors, she began moving her head from side to side trying to get a better look into his eyes. When he finally met her gaze, his dilated pupils were already answering the question that she was about to ask.

"Day, have you been drinking?"

He looked away for a moment and then back to her gaze, a lopsided, goofy grin plastered on his face as he made a motion with two fingers indicating just how much he had to drink.

"Only just a tincy wincy bit. Why?"

Tasha pulled her hand away from his chest and placed them on either side of her hips. Day was sobered more by the loss of her touch than he was by her next words.

"What is the matter with you?" she said frustrated by his actions.

His eyes widened at that and his nostrils made a flaring motion.

"What's the matter with _me_? Well, Tasha, I can sum it up in one word - Dare. He's _our_ problem!"

Tasha was well aware of Dare's sudden appearance back into her life about two weeks ago. And Dare in return was aware of her relationship with Day - a relationship that she had no problem revealing once he propositioned her to leave the ship with him. Was it possible that he could have said something to Day? If so, then what?

"Day, I have no idea what you are talking about. Dare has nothing to do with our current situation."

His laugh was mocking in its tone.

"Doesn't he, Tasha?"

He quickly turned, effectively pinning her to the wall**,** one arm on each side of her face with his hands glued to the wall, just as her body was. She could see the small hint of a smirk forming at the edge of his lips as he was obviously priding himself in getting the upper hand on her - a _security chief_ - especially in his current state of inebriation. Slowly, he leaned into her space, ever closer to her ear as he whispered his next words:

"He told me your little secret..."

Her breathing was beginning to accelerate, not from the situation but from the proximity of this man's body to hers. She was really starting to grow tired of this little charade.

"What secret is that? There's plenty of them, Day. My life on Turkana as a child? The secret about my sister, whom I tell everyone is dead because she betrayed me? Or the secret concerning how you and I have been _screwing_ each other in our spare time for the past three months?"

Cocking her head she continued on provoking him.

"Huh, so which is it, Day? 'Cause I'm guessing from the gossip around this ship, people would _kill_ to know the truth about the latter every since the Tsiolkovsky virus! 'Are they or aren't they?' That seems to be -the-_ big_ question on everyone's mind!"

He was taken back by her responses and his brain was having a hard time keeping up due to the alcohol; but that last remark he caught on to very well.

"If I remember correctly, it was _you_, Lieutenant, who wanted to keep the relationship a secret because we were both senior officers. Not me."

She suddenly found her strength once again and began trying to push him away; but despite being the ship's security officer he was much stronger than she. He easily grabbed hold of her hands and slammed them back against the wall of the holodeck. Out of frustration she spat her next words at him:

"I was trying to protect you, Day! I didn't want Picard finding out and thinking that our relationship would interfere with our duties."

She looked square into his eyes with exhaustion and defeat showing in her features as she finished:

"Obviously I was right in doing so."

He knew she was not referring to the decision to keep the affair a secret, but to his inability to make the best decisions concerning the resignation of their relationship; hence his current state. Slowly his left hand released hers and began moving up to cup the side of her face, his eyes becoming more gentle with each motion of his hand stroking her cheek.

Suddenly Tasha saw something much more in his gaze. Something that he always tried to keep hid. A reputation that he has always tried to uphold. She seemed to discover his weakness. In his vulnerability, he was revealing that _she _was his weakness. In his eyes he was declaring a need - a need that was reserved for her _alone_. And to her surprise, after their heated argument his words came out much softer, emphasizing each word with the intensity of the emotion behind it:

"What is this hold that you have on me, Natasha Yar?"

She gave him a small smile at that and shrugged her shoulders as a sign of feigning complete ignorance to his question.

"I wasn't aware that I had a hold on you ... or any other man for that matter."

Now it was his turn to smile.

"Tasha, to be the woman that you are, you can be such a girl at times, especially in some of your decisions."

_What is it about this man?_, Tasha thought. _I mean, God, __he can be so endearing at times and then absolutely impossible at others_! What exactly was that supposed to mean, anyway? _What_ decisions? What in the hell was this man so angry with her about? It was _his _idea to end the relationship, not hers! And yet, here he was, making her pay for a decision _he_ made! Her anger was really starting to reach its limit with him and her thoughts just came spilling out.

"What 'decisions,' Day? Last time I checked, you ended the relationship, not me!"

His hand was still on the side of her face, stroking, but the movement of his fingers suddenly stopped at the accusing tone in her voice. He boldly lowered his face down to hers, their noses briefly touching as their lips were mere inches apart. She could feel his breath against her lips as he spoke.

"What 'relationship,' Tasha? As I understand it, according to you, we were just 'screwing in our spare time.' ...Right?"

That did it - his remark was insulting and she definitely didn't like what he was insinuating! Her lightning-like reflexes suddenly caught him off guard and he soon found himself on his back looking up at the ceiling of the holodeck, the pain of the impact searing through his body. The only sound around that seemed to drown out the ringing in his ears was that of her footsteps briskly walking toward the arch that was the exit. He slowly lifted himself off the ground, laughing at her actions. She was most definitely a little spitfire - and he was addicted to the flames! He just couldn't resist one last chance to provoke her before she left, hollering the words out as he held his chest in mock horror at her actions.

"Was it something I said?"

Tasha balled her fists up and stopped to gather herself. She absolutely refused to let this man see the hurt and frustration that filled her eyes. Allowing herself a deep breath as she forced back the tears that threatened to spill over, she finally spun around at his remark.

"You know what, Day? When you decide to stop being a self-conceited, immature little boy," she pointed her finger at him as her last words left her mouth, "When you decide to start acting your _age_ - not to mention your _rank _aboard this ship - _then_ we'll talk!"


	3. Just Another Day

**"If Only"**

**Chapter 3 ~ "Just Another Day"**

**Please leave reviews if you are enjoying the story. It does encourage the story further along.**

**-x-x-x-**

The next day was just as uneventful as any other without her. The only thing exciting about the whole day was the monitoring of the solar quadrant that was in the process of birthing a new star. Luckily the Captain had not been made aware of his second officer running rampant through the corridors of the ship, drunk and provoking his ex-lover. And the cold blank stares that he could feel upon the back of his head, coming from a certain young lieutenant in the direction of Tactical only seemed to dampen his mood that much more.

All he really wanted to do was crawl back into bed and dream that he could take back the last twenty four hours. She was right, he was acting immature. He didn't know what came over him - no, scratch that, he _did_ know, too. It was that prick, Rich. He most definitely didn't like the interest that he was placing in Tasha - the looks he sent her way.

But in all honesty, he had no right to be angry with her. After all, she didn't end the relationship; _he_ did. No, rather what Dare _told_ him did. Besides, could he really trust what Dare said? The guy was not at all shy in professing his love for Tasha after all these years. And so what if she was still with Dare when she met him? Maybe it was like Geordi said. Maybe she just wasn't happy anymore and wanted something more. Maybe she found that in him - although that_ did _sound a tad bit vain on his part. Who was he to even dare to dream that he could stir that type of emotion in this woman? She was a free spirit. A bird that simply refused to be caged, not that he would ever do so. She was too beautiful to watch fly. Her independence was her beauty. The hardships that she endured as a child did not break her, but instead they did the exact opposite. They made her stronger. That simple truth alone only made him ache to give her a better life - to be the one to bring her the happiness that she had been denied for so long. He wanted her to need him, just as he needed her.

She had that type of abandonment for him at Praxa. He was in his third year on the _Trieste_ when he was sent there to observe the colonists and collect samples of the soil and water and document the vegetation. He was only a lieutenant then, and it was during his second week of the observation that he met the young ensign with a drive to prove herself. With his stubborness and her independence they immediately bumped heads on certain missions.

But the attraction was there and they both knew it. He often made her laugh with his quirky sense of humor; and she seemed to get a kick out of proving him wrong. Until one night his door chimed, and to his surprise it was her. She seemed embarrassed to even be there. Why, he wasn't sure at that time but chose to not question it, instead doing everything in his power to keep her comfortable and there with him. The humidity of the nocturnal atmosphere made it miserable and (in retrospect) probably had a lot to do with the decisions that they both made that night. With the end of the surveillance nearing, as the decision from Starfleet came down for first contact due to the colonists' increasing knowledge of space travel, they both had already received their orders to return to their respective starships - he to the _Trieste_ and she to the _Cochrane_.

He still wasn't sure why she came to his room that night. Maybe it was the weight of what all was going on in her life at that time that was taking its toll on her. Certain things that, at the time, she had kept him in the dark about; but which afterwards Dare had been so generous to enlighten him. Or maybe it was that she discovered that she was going to miss him.

All he knew was that, whatever thought was playing in her mind that night, it drove her to him. He began smiling to himself at the thought of her refusing to sit down beside him, claiming she only came to say goodbye. He suddenly stood to his feet from the ache of wanting to touch her. Or maybe it was that he just simply wasn't ready to say goodbye yet.

He remembered closing the distance between them and abandoning all reason, as he raised his hand to cup the side of her face as he spoke.

"How about 'see ya around,' instead?"

She looked down and smiled. "Yeah, I like that better, although it does imply a false sense of hope in seeing you again."

His heart broke at her honesty. The need of wanting to touch more of her was soon acted upon as he slowly slid his hand from the side of her face down to cup her chin, raising her face up so that he could look into her eyes. "Nothing is ever a false sense of hope if you believe in it hard enough."

Her eyes in return mirrored the optimism that he possessed. "You are an optimistic man, aren't you, Daystrom Soong?"

He began smiling at her with one of those half grins that had become his trademark. "Well, when a man has a woman like you to hope for, he can't help but be optimistic."

Her eyes held his as the admission of his words sunk in. And with the pleading of her eyes, she seemed to now be silently giving him permission to do what he had been dying to do ever since she first came to this planet. Slowly, he tilted his head as he began closing the space between them - with his hand still cupping her chin he guided her lips to his.

The first kiss was a bit chaste, a small way to feel each other out. But he quickly claimed her lips for another; and the passion that seemed to be building up for the past few months came spilling out. Her lips met his with just as much urgency. Her hands lifted up; one to cup the back of his head, the other wrapped around his back. Soon she was opening her mouth to him as he possessed her completely. His hand had long abandoned her face and was now slowly moving down her neck as his other hand was pulling her closer to him. And soon his hand was kneading her soft breast as she moaned her approval into their kiss. In that moment he was lost to everything around him. Nothing else seemed to matter except the woman that he now held in his arms and his need to have more. More of this. More of her.

He remembered feeling the sudden loss of her arms around him as she lowered her hands to his shirt and began slowly, seductively unbuttoning the buttons, one by one. He couldn't help but to be in awe of this new Tasha - a Tasha who, despite obliging to orders and carrying them out, her need to take charge and remain in control seemed to spill over into her lovemaking as well. He removed his hands from her and grabbed hold of her fingers, stopping them from working the last button of his shirt.

She raised her eyes to meet his, the fear that he was rejecting her clearly visible. He quickly cupped both sides of her face as he leaned in to kiss her chastely on the lips, in hopes that the act alone would reassure her of his need of her. Once his lips left hers, he took a deep breath as he placed his hands on each side of her shoulders. Choosing his words carefully, he began whispering them in a husky passion-filled voice:

"Tasha, please..."

Another deep breath came from him as he continued pleading.

"Please, if you want me to stop...Then please, I'm begging you to tell me _now,_ because if we go much further I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself."

She never even bothered to respond but instead resumed undoing that one last button upon his shirt, allowing the gesture alone to be his answer.

Once she had finished, she looked up at him with passion evident in her eyes as she slid her hands up his bare chest to rest underneath the opening of his shirt, slowly sliding it off his shoulders. She never took her eyes from his as she leaned in to be the one who now claimed his lips. While in-between kisses, she whispered, "Make love to me, Day."

If he required any more reassurance he got it with those few words. With a burning need that scared even himself, he pulled her to him and thrust his tongue into her mouth, the kiss intensifying with each movement of their lips. His hands roamed every part of her body before finally resting upon her buttocks. As he lifted her up she instinctively wrapped her legs around him, as he carried her to the bedroom and laid her down upon the bed. She pulled him down on top of her as he began to pull her shirt up over her head, and-

"Commander..."

His title seemed to interrupt his pleasant reverie, the voice behind it edged with irritation at having to repeat themselves.

"Commander Soong!"

Day raised his head to see Captain Picard standing over his comms station.

"Sir?"

Picard snorted his next request.

"Commander, if you would so kindly cease your daydreaming, I would like to see you and Lieutenant Yar in my ready room. _Now_," he added emphatically before turning and walking away.

Day quickly got to his feet and followed the Captain, stepping off to the side to let Tasha enter first, taking note of the small smirk upon her face just before entering the room. No doubt the Captain must have gotten wind of his little escapade yesterday and was bringing both officers in to reprimand them. They both took their seat in front of the Captain's desk, as Picard pulled down the front of his uniform before sitting down as well. He seemed a bit troubled by what he was about to say.

"It appears that we have a problem."

Tasha and Day both spoke in unison.

"Sir, I have-"

Both turned to look at each other as they simultaneously realized their folly. Captain Picard looked between the two before continuing further.

"About three days ago the Federation had sent out the USS _Tripoli_ to the planet we know as Rutia Four on an evacuation mission."

Yar spoke up in confusion. "Rutia Four, Sir?"

Now it was Day's turn to speak up since he knew the background details of the planet in question. "It is a small M-class planet approximately fifty-five hundred miles in diameter, located in the Nivea sector. They used to enjoy a long-standing trading relationship with the Federation starting in 2305. Although the planet's population was ruled under one single government, in 2296 a dissident group called the Ansata on the western continent sought political independence from the ruling authorities. Their request was officially denied by the Rutian government the following year. So the Ansata began a long terrorist struggle to gain official recognition for their desire of emancipation."

Tasha just sat there in annoyed disbelief with her mouth agape as she questioned Day, "How do you do that?"

Day turned to look at her, now it was confusion that filled his face. "Do what?"

Tasha began motioning with her hands as if trying to find the words."That - you know - spin off the entire history of a planet like that."

"Fortunately, I have a photographic memory inherited from both my parents," Day explained, shrugging his shoulders as he quipped with a wide grin, "'Daystrom just lucky, I guess!'"

Tasha couldn't resist rolling her eyes at his vain answer.

"Wow, I bet _you're_ a riot to hang out with!"

Day couldn't help but smile and give her a wink as he leaned over slightly and muttered the words under his breath so that only she could hear them: "You should know."

Tasha shot back a look at him that even without words spoken aloud, he knew just exactly where she was telling him he could go.

Meanwhile Captain Picard was starting to get impatient with their bantering back and forth, and he interjected with a stern, "Enough!"

He stood up from his chair and walked over to gaze out the bay window at the stars. "The Ansata want to relocate and leave the planet altogether. They claimed that their efforts were in vain against the Rutian government." Turning back around to face the two senior officers, he pressed on, "The Captain of the _Tripoli_ gave them the benefit of the doubt and sent down an away team to speak to their leader, Kyril Finn about relocation. Unfortunately their response was to take the officers hostage. Now they're using the Federation as a bargaining chip, claiming that if they don't want to start a war with the Federation by an act of terrorism on their part, then the Rutian government should comply with their wishes of independence."

He grabbed the front of his uniform as he pulled it down yet again.

"This is where you two come in."

Day and Tasha both looked at each other and then back to Captain Picard.

"The Tripoli has been asked to fall back and leave the situation, since the Federation decided that a much stronger vessel was needed for the job. We have been asked to intervene. And since the Federation doesn't want to risk any more hostages, they want me to send two officers down right into the heart of the Ansata's territory, have them locate the hostages and bring them back safely to the Enterprise."

Tasha was the first to speak.

"Good... Commander Riker and I will be more than happy to go, Sir!"

Day turned to look at her, shocked from her outburst, not to mention a little hurt from her excluding him from the mission. Day couldn't resist trying to provoke her a little as he raised his hand up in the air, mimicking a pupil back at the Academy waiting to be called on by his professor.

The Captain rolled his eyes before acknowledging his second officer's gesture, his patience growing shorter by the minute. "Yes, Commander?"

"Umm...I'm sorry, Sir," he ignored Tasha as he feigned glancing around and behind the two of them - including in the corners near the ceiling and under Picard's desk - "but I was unaware...Has Commander Riker joined us in this room?"

Tasha, annoyed at his remark, turned toward him with a menacing look in her eyes as she silently mouthed the words "shut up" to him. The Captain only ignored their feuding as he continued on.

"Well, Lieutenant, I have been asked to send Daystrom because of his vast knowledge of the planet's history - as you got to see demonstrated for you earlier on..." He was now walking over to the replicator as he ordered his favorite beverage, "Tea. Earl Grey...Hot." Grabbing his mug from the replicator he turned back to the two officers, resuming his earlier train of thought, "...And you, Lieutenant, because of your specialized combat skills. So it appears you two will be a team for however long this mission requires."

He stopped to give them their final orders.

"You leave in twelve hours. You're dismissed."

Day couldn't help but hear Tasha mutter the words, "Just...great..." under her breath as she got up from her chair and headed back through the doors to her bridge station.

"Commander," the Captain's voice stopped Day before he made it to the doors, "Can I make a suggestion?"

Day turned around to face the Captain. "Please, sir."

"Whatever little... _disagreement_ is brewing between you and Natasha, take a little advice from someone who knows... Deal with it." He motioned to take another sip of his tea then paused, glancing back up, "Soon, if at all necessary."

Day just replied a brisk, "Yes, sir." before walking out and taking his place back at the comms station once again to finish his shift out.


	4. Rutia IV Part I

**If Only**

**Chapter 4 ~ ****"Rutia IV Pt. 1"**

**Please leave reviews if you are enjoying the story.**

**-x-x-x-**

The _Enterprise_ had beamed them down a few hours ago, and as they walked Day was debriefing her on the terrain. Most of the planet itself was made of mountainous terrain, caves and steep valleys, so he told her to stay close and no matter what, not to go off too far on her own. Already she was tired of walking. Her boots were killing her. They were dressed like the civilians of this planet, almost in a primitive way; and her body, despite her extensive athletic conditioning was already starting to feel the toll of walking through such rough ground. Passing a boulder, she stopped to lean on it to catch her breath, taking the bag she had been carrying off her shoulders.

"Day, let's stop a minute and take a breather."

She wondered how in the hell this man was able to keep going like he did. He was physically fit as was required for bridge officers, but nothing like her. She worked out every day, and yet this man was still walking circles around her! The terrain here was unusual, to say the least. Despite being very mountainous, it also had a lot of vegetation, which was very odd to see on most M-class planets.

She noticed out the corner of her eye that Day had walked up to one of the trees close by that seemed to bear some kind of strange fruit on it. She turned to watch him as he plucked a few of them off the tree and placed them in his satchel. He then placed the satchel back on his shoulders, as he reached up to pluck two more and began eating one of them. She was aghast at his actions.

"What are you doing? I mean, do you even know if you can eat that thing?"

Day stopped chewing on the fruit and looked incredulously at her.

"Yeah. It's a mandelin."

Confusion filled Tasha's face. "A man-what?"

Day was amazed that this woman didn't even take the time beforehand to familiarize herself with the native vegetation of their environment, especially considering that they would have to be living off of it for the next few days.

"It's a mandelin - kind of like the apples you see on Earth."

She only shrugged and mouthed a casual, disinterested "oh" in response as he kept on.

"God, Tasha, did you not even study up on the environment before coming down here?"

She looked up at him, getting a little agitated at his reprimand.

"For your information, _Sir_, I was busy doing other important things to prepare myself for this mission."

Day raised his eyesbrows at her response.

"Like what?"

Good God, this man could really get under her skin at times, with his ten thousand questions!

"Well, Day, if you _must_ know, I was in the holodeck practicing my tactical skills on some Rutian terrorists."

Day couldn't help but laugh at her response as Tasha held her arms out and shrugged her shoulders as if to say, "what?" in response. She honestly didn't see anything wrong with how she was preparing for the mission! And he just couldn't resist needling her a little.

"Wow Tasha, let me get this straight. Instead of saying to yourself, 'Hmmm, I think I'll go study up on the terrain of this planet to see what I'm getting myself into; and then I'm gonna take a look at the vegetation just in case anything happens to Day and I'm not exactly sure how to survive...' " Throwing his arms up in the air he continued on, "But _nooooo_! Instead, you thought, 'Hmm, an unknown planet, what can I do?... Oh, I know! I'll go whoop some ass before leaving!'"

Within a matter of seconds she was picking her bag back up and storming further down the trail as she pushed herself angrily past him. She then heard him turn and run after her to catch up. When he got beside her, she shot him a look and she could tell that he was trying very hard - maybe a little _too_ hard - to keep from laughing. So in return, to make peace he offered her one of the fruits he had just picked for them.

She shook her head, "No, thanks."

Bringing the fruit back he placed it in his coat pocket as he took another bite of his before enticing her further.

"Mmmm...It's awfully good. You don't know what you're missing!"

Still being stubborn she gave him another look out the corner of her eyes.

"I _said_, I didn't _want_ any!" she repeated, more firmly this time.

Day rolled his eyes as he continued pressing her further,

"Come on, Tasha. You need to eat something..." Grinning slyly, he added, "After all, how much ass-whoopin' can you do if you don't keep up your strength?"

She abruptly stopped her walking, choosing to ignore his last quip as she turned to face him.

"Fine," she sighed, "give me the damn apple."

He couldn't help but to correct her, knowing it would only agitate her further.

"It's a mandelin."

Tasha held her hand out in frustration and said it again, this time through clenched teeth.

"Fine, then - just give me the damn mandelin already!"

He complied and pulled the fruit out of his pocket and handed it over to her, all the while giving her one hell of a smile as she bit into it.

"Feeling better now?"

In response, she just rolled her eyes and continued walking as she ate the fruit. She was really going to hate this mission. She just knew it! This man was impossible! Despite being quite handsome, he was vain about his I.Q. and he could really irritate the hell out of her. He seemed to get a kick out of pissing her off, although (she had to admit, if only to herself) he did seem to make her laugh. If she wasn't already pissed at him from his little drunken escapade in the holodeck, she might have actually thought his jokes about her having to go and whoop some ass were kind of funny. He did seem to know how to make her laugh, and had an innate sense of how to get her blood boiling as well.

It wasn't long before his voice interrupted her thoughts again, "It'll be getting dark soon, we need to find some kind of shelter." He looked down at his tricorder and paused for a moment. "If my readings are correct, there is a cave just a few kilometers that way," he briefly inclined his head in the general direction. "We can take shelter there for the night and get an early start in the morning. I think it'd be too dangerous to travel at night."

She didn't even bother answering but just continued following him. Within a few minutes they had arrived at the cave and he made a few sweeps of the area to make sure it was clear and safe for them to stay. After concluding that it was, she went inside and took a seat against the wall to rest, while watching Day gather branches and leaves and carrying them into the cave. Within a matter of minutes he had a fire started. Tasha just stared at him in awe as he looked up at her with a triumphant smile across his face for getting the fire going. It was the first time she spoke to him since asking for the fruit.

"Boy, you're just a real go-getter, aren't you?"

He stopped smiling as he looked down at the fire, raising his hands to get them warm and then back up to her as he gave her that trademark smirk that she knew all too well.

"I can be. It depends on what I'm getting..."

She looked down real quick as if embarrassed a little by what he said. Or by what he was insinuating. If she was the one he would be getting, then yeah, he was a _go-get-her_. That was really what he meant. The hidden innuendo didn't go unnoticed on her behalf.

Silence seemed to make its presence known between them once again. Soon she got up, opened her satchel and took out a blanket to sleep on, laying it out on the floor of the cave. She had barely settled in when she couldn't help but to risk another glance back at him. He was just sitting there, staring at her, and she found herself unable to tear her eyes away. But it wasn't the fact that he was staring at her that seemed to unnerve her - it was the emotion behind that stare. It was nothing more than pure, raw _desire_, clearly characteristic of a fool in love who desperately wished things were different, if only for that moment. A fool filled with what looked like regret.

He continued holding her gaze, allowing her the chance to peer past the façade of his quirky sense of humor and more into the depths of who he was as a man. More into just how he saw her; as a woman he seemed to deeply care about. Despite the ongoing rumors of this man's claims to being a loner, she knew differently. He truly was just like _her_ - simply waiting for that right person to come along. And from the look that he possessed in his eyes, he had found her. And he hoped to God that he could be the same for her as well. All this and more was clearly visible in his gaze.

Finally, his voice broke the silence and she seemed to muster the strength to tear her eyes away from his and focus more on the fire in front of her.

"Look, Tasha, about the other day..." He faltered a minute trying to find the right words, knowing she deserved the truth and not some lame 'I-was-drunk' excuses. "I owe you an explanation," he took a deep breath and let it out before adding, "and an apology."

She held up her hands in response, "Don't bother. I understand...you were hurt."

He looked down and the silence fell between them once again for what seemed like forever; but in fact was only mere seconds.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," he admitted

He had her full attention now! She looked sharply up at him from the fire.

"But I don't think you understand everything," he continued.

She raised her eyebrows and he could detect a hint of impatience and defeat in her voice as she whispered her next words.

"Day, just tell me why you really ended it?" Suddenly from the light of the fire he could see what appeared to be tears filling her eyes as she continued on, "I think I deserve to know that much, at least."

His heart broke at the sight before him. All this time, he wanted nothing more than to protect this woman - to give her the love, desire, and happiness that she had so long been denied. And now he was doing to her just as everyone else seemed to do. He was hurting her. Even if it was unintentional, that still didn't banish the guilt that he felt.

"Tasha, when Dare came to the Enterprise_,_ did he know about us?"

She was now reaching up to wipe the tears from her eyes with the sleeves of her jacket as she shook her head "yes" and continued, "He came to my quarters on his last night there, asking me to leave with him. I knew he still wanted us together because he made that very clear when he first arrived. So I finally told him about us..." Wiping her eyes again she finished, "He wanted to know if the Enterprise was where we first met; so I told him that we met on a prior mission on Praxa shortly after he split things off with me. That just sent him into a rage and he stormed out after I demanded that he leave my quarters."

Day tore his eyes from the fire and looked at her abruptly with disbelief at her explanation.

"He _what_?" said Day

She slightly furrowed her eyebrows as she saw some kind of connection being made inside his head.

"Well, he broke it off with me a month before I was assigned to my first posting on the _Cochrane_. He claimed that I was betraying him by believing the proof that was mounting against him. I begged him to get help because I thought that maybe if he did that we could still make things work. But he made it clear that he did not feel the same way..." She shrugged her shoulders and then added, "At least, that was my thinking before I met you."

Day couldn't help but to burst out laughing. He felt as though a weight had just been lifted off his shoulders. He quickly held up a hand as if to say he was sorry for the outburst. Still smiling, he explained, "Dare told me before he left that he and you were still engaged; and that you went back to him after Praxa and begged forgiveness for your infidelity."

Tasha's eyes widened at the revelation. She was getting more pissed by the minute!

"How could I have went back to him? I was stationed on the _Cochrane_ and he was in confinement!"

_Whoa!_ How did he miss putting that together?

"Y'know, Day, as smart as you are, you can't even tell when somebody's obviously feeding you a line of bull!"

Well, technically she did have a point, Day realized. He wasn't able to put the pieces of the puzzle together on that one. Not only did he regret ending it with her, but he felt like an idiot for not even consulting her first on what was said. All that was left to do now was to apologize and beg for another chance - which he knew he didn't deserve, since he had done to her apparently what Dare had done all those years ago. He'd let her down.

"Tasha, I am so sorry..." he sighed, shaking his head from side to side, obviously ashamed. "I should have talked to you about it, instead of automatically assuming it to be the truth."

It was obvious that her anger was starting to grow as she stood to her feet and began pointing her finger in his face, accusingly.

"So let me get this straight - just in case I missed anything during the intermission!...You broke it off with me over something that my _ex-fiancé_ said to you? And instead of talking it over with me, you dump me?"

He held her gaze as she finished. He shrugged his shoulders and said nonchalantly,

"Yeah, that's about it."

_Oh my God_, she was seriously going to kill this man! He really was getting under her skin. The look on his face as he confirmed that she was correct in her assumption literally drove her up the wall. That was it! She was going to let him have it. She was way beyond angry now! So far all she did was just stand there and stare at him, increduously. Now was _not_ the time for his little quirky sense of humor to make a showing, and the fact that it was only enraged her further. He must have realized his mistake in doing so because he quickly took his eyes from her and focused them back onto the fire as she started in on him.

"You!..." She threw her hands up in the air as she was obviously fumbling to get the words she wanted to say out just right. "You have to be _the_ most stubborn man that I have _ever_ met in my life! You throw away perfectly good relationships over a _lie_..."

At that point, she started determinedly pacing the cave, emboldened by the look of shock on his face. She was on a roll, and she was going with it!

"...You - You are meticulous! Everything about you has to be just perfect - your hair, your uniform - even down to your freaking living quarters! You are so vain where your family is concerned, and your IQ. You have the quirkiest sense of humor - oh and speaking of which, just to let you know - some of your little sarcastic jokes aren't even that funny! You hide behind the façade that you are a loner, when in fact, deep down you are just as afraid of being alone as I am. But most women don't even have the time to notice that, because you don't give them the chance!"

She stopped to take a breath as she noticed that, if she were aiming to break him with her words, she appeared to be succeeding. She took a moment to reflect before speaking her next words to him - as the ache to finally speak the revelation out loud overcame her, "But despite all that, I love you. I'm not sure why, maybe because of all those things. All I know is that I do."

He raised his head at her confession and met her eyes with his as he said the words so quietly that she had to strain her ears to hear him.

"I wasn't aware that you cared," he said light-heartedly.

Oh God! This man was horrible! She couldn't help but to roll her eyes as her anger once again came forth:

"Day, you are the only man I know who can take a perfectly romantic moment and ruin it with a sarcastic joke!"

With the word _romantic_ echoing in his mind's ear, within an instant he was standing before her, taking her into his arms and bringing her lips to his for what had to be the most passionate kiss she had ever had the privilege of experiencing. The force of the kiss was causing her to move backwards until she felt her back stop against the wall of the cave. To her surprise, he didn't even let up on the kiss, but only deepened it further by thrusting his tongue into her mouth. His hands were roaming everywhere as he was desperate to prove the desire he felt for this woman. His hands cupped her face and slowly slid down her neck to ever so slightly graze over her breast, bringing her an incredible sensation from just the touch. Slowly he broke the kiss as he moved his head down to the nape of her neck, kissing her as he licked his way all the way up, smiling from the moan that escaped her lips as he claimed her earlobe into his mouth and began to gently suck.

_Oh God,_ this man was so good at what he did. _Oh yeah, being meticulous had its benefits!_, she thought. Soon his lips began traveling back down her neck to her collarbone, while his hands began opening the front of her shirt so his mouth could no doubt travel further down. And he did just that. As his hands gently cupped each breast, he began stroking through the material of her bra the sensitive nipples that were hidden beneath. As he so expertly moved the material aside and gently began sucking and licking in the most seductive way, she could hear her moans echoing through the caverns of the cave. Suddenly she was aware that he had continued further down, working on the fastening of her pants, desperate to give her what she was anticipating. Despite all her years of professional training, self-discipline and level-headed emotional reserve, she could care less about her appearance, about the mission - even about those hostages. All she cared about right then was what this man was doing to her - and what she hoped he was about to do. Suddenly his lips ceased their assault upon her body and his head turned toward the entrance of the cave. Tasha immediately looked down to question him with the same passion-filled voice that he had earlier.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Ssshhh," was Day's only response.

He quickly jumped up to his feet as he commanded her, "Get dressed, I think I hear voices coming this way. Hurry!"

He quickly moved to pick up the blanket and pack it back into her bag. Pulling the flash lights out, he looked to make sure that she was completely dressed before putting the fire out. He quickly turned the lights on and grabbed hold of Tasha's hand as he led her further back into the cave to hide.

Tasha, meanwhile, was still in her foggy, half-aroused, breathless state from their earlier rendezvous. She was itching to see who these people were, of course, because she really wanted to kick their asses for interrupting what was most definitely going to be their best sex yet! Although she had to admit, all sex with Day was good. The man really knew what he was doing when it came to that area of their relationship, that was for sure. It was almost as if he knew exactly what her body was wanting from him. She didn't even have to express her needs to him in words. He simply just _knew_, somehow. And that most definitely had its advantages.

They quickly jumped over the small stream of water flowing through the rocky ground as Day took them behind a large boulder alongside an inner cave wall. There they turned their flashlights off and hunkered down for what appeared to be a long uncomfortable night for them both.

Soon the voices that Day heard from a distance were echoing more clearly throughout the caverns as they entered inside. Day tried to strain his ears to listen over the sound of the water trickling through the cave as he heard one man speak in a demanding tone,

"Sit down and don't move! I promise that I won't hesitate to kill you all if you make another move like that again."

Day cautiously peeked over the side of the boulder as he looked toward the entrance of the cave, in the general direction of the voice. There he saw the away team from the _Tripoli_ with their hands bound behind their backs. The Federation had informed them that the terrorists were moving the officers from one cave to the next, hiding beneath the rocks to prevent detection. It appeared that Tasha and Day had unwittingly chosen the terrorists' next planned hideout. This would no doubt be a long night. He only hoped that they didn't travel further into the cave and discover the remnants of their fire.

Soon one of the prisoners responded to someone who appeared to be the leader of the group. This must be Kyril Finn. He was a tall lanky man with shoulder length hair that had the white streak running through it, which was known as the Ansata's trademark.

"The Federation won't fall for your plot. They won't risk the onslaught of a war over the lives of three officers. Your efforts are in vai-"

Kyril pointed his weapon at the officer and commanded angrily. "Shut up, I said!" He moved forward directly in front of the man's face as he spoke his next words through clenched teeth.

"Your Starfleet is well-known for placing value on _all_ life. I am sure they see your lives as no less valuable as anyone else's. They will come for you. It's just a matter of time."

"It appears they are already here," one of the terrorists that appeared to have a patch over his right eye spoke aloud as he shined his flashlight on the remains of the fire that was burning just a few moments earlier. The man leaned down as he picked up one of the sticks in the fire. Stirring the ashes of the fire, he saw the little specks of oxygen-deprived embers sparkling brighter from the motion.

"Everyone spread out" Kyril commanded. "No one come back until you have found them!"

The men quickly began to disperse as they started searching the cavern.

"Crap!" Day exclaimed in a half-whisper.

Tasha looked at him questioningly.

"What?"

"They found the remains of the fire," Day explained flatly as he reached to grab her hand once again. "We have to get out of here. Now!"

Tasha stared back at him, her adrenaline obviously stirring. Not even all of her experience as a teenager evading rape gangs on Turkana Four had quite prepared her for this situation. On Turkana, at least, she only had to be concerned about herself and her cat. Not hostages she was duty-sworn to protect - much less the man she loved.

"Okay, we'll fight our way out, take the hostages, make our way toward higher ground and beam out of this hellhole! Our phasers are far superior to their weapons. We can take them!"

Day quickly leaned in for a chaste kiss upon her lips before replying,

"I love your optimism during such impossible odds, but I have a better plan..."

She only questioned him with her eyes.

"You see that stream over there?"

Tasha squinted through the rapidly-dimming light. "Yeah."

"Well, if the water is flowing _in_, then it must be flowing _out_ somewhere. I suggest that we find just exactly where and let that be our escape."

The smile that she gave him nearly took his breath away.

"Agreed, Commander."

They quickly got to their feet and began carefully following the stream, remaining slumped over to avoid detection, when suddenly Tasha lost her footing and slipped into the water. The resulting splashing noise, normally a pleasant and relaxing sound was in this case almost cacophonous as it echoed through the cavern walls. Day knew it was too much to hope for it to go unnoticed. The man with the patch over his eye aimed his flashlight in their direction and immediately spotted them.

"There you are, we've been looking everywhere for you!" he sadistically sneered.

Immediately the man began firing as Day pulled Tasha by her hand to hide behind another boulder. The shot just barely missed them. Day unholstered his phaser as the men were running in their direction. In desperation he shot up at the roof of the cave. The resulting loosened rock crumbled and rained down in front of the men. That only slowed them down slightly, as they soon had worked their way through the rocks, tossing them to the side. Their movements seemed to be slowed more by the dust that had been stirred up than from the rocks themselves, however; as the pair could hear the men coughing and gagging as they pressed on through the darkened, lingering fog in their determined pursuit.

Day and Tasha began running more quickly as they followed the stream further down, the sandstone along the sides of the bank underneath their feet having been worn smoother by the ever-increasing volume and speed of the water. They became aware that their attackers' voices were not too far behind. With each distance met, however, the sound of the water also became louder and louder. It became more evident that this was not just a simple stream of water but something much larger.

As they reached the end of their destination, Day abruptly stopped as Tasha ran into his back, almost knocking him over the ledge. She quickly grabbed hold of his arms and pulled him back. They both peered over the edge of the cliff to see nothing more than a roaring waterfall and a large, rushing body of water below. The voices of their would-be assailants only grew closer and closer as Day grabbed hold of Tasha's hand, leaned in for a quick kiss and spoke his next words in a nervous voice that seemed to give away just what he was thinking.

"I love you, too."

She just simply stared at him, eyes widening as the realization of what he was about to have them do seeped into her conscious mind. She started slowly backing up.

"Oh no, Mister. I'm not doing _that_! You can forget it!" she began trying to pull her hand from his as she continued, "I love you, but I'm not jumping over a cliff for yyyooooouuuuuuuuuu..."

Her voice screamed the last word as he tightened his grip on her hand and jumped, pulling Tasha over with him.


	5. Rutia IV Part II

**If Only **

**Chapter 5 ~ "Rutia IV: Pt. 2"**

**Please leave reviews if you are enjoying the story.**

**-x-x-x-**

"I believe they're dead, Roman," one of the members assessed to the man with the patch over his eye.

"Yes, if the fall didn't kill them, the rapids will." He turned back to them. "C'mon, let's head back to Kyril and tell him what happened to what must have been Starfleet's finest!" Roman said jokingly as he looked back down to the rapids. Choked bursts of snickering escaped him, until he finally threw his head back into a full blown laugh. The echoes from all the men joining in the hilarity sounded throughout the cave as they followed Roman back to Kyril and the hostages.

**-x-x-x-**

Day broke through the surface of the water, gasping for breath as he began fighting the current of the rapids. His eyes immediately began scanning the surface in search for Tasha as he was screaming her name.

"Tasha?" A few moments later, he repeated again, "Tasha?"

He was beginning to become frantic now as he screamed again, clasping on to a limb hanging in the water as he pulled himself up onto land. He gasped for breath as he screamed her name once more.

"TASHA!"

He couldn't explain the emotion that filled every fiber of his being as her voice finally answered him.

"I'm right here, sheesh! Calm down - you act as if I'm injured or dead from you pushing me over a cliff!" she hollered back.

He looked in the direction of her voice as he saw her small frame slumped onto a boulder that sat on the wayside of the river. Despite his fatigued state from fighting the current, he immediately jumped up to help her off of the rock onto the river's bank, away from the rushing waters. They both laid down on the ground for a moment; both panting from their battle with the rapids. It was his voice that broke the silence first.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that we're pretty much screwed."

Tasha chuckled a little at his conclusion.

"Where's that optimism at, Day?"

He pointed up to the exit of the cave and answered,"I think I left it up there."

"It's never over till the fat lady sings."

"Oh, so you've met Geordi's girlfriend," Day responded flatly.

Tasha burst out laughing at his comeback. She couldn't help herself, this man was hilarious at times.

"You're impossible!"

Day just shrugged his shoulders, as he smiled in response to her laughter. He loved making this woman laugh. She had endured so much in her life, through such a short time. Now he only wanted to bring her happiness, joy and laughter - and if God willing, love as well.

So when she did grace him with those moments, he couldn't help but take pride in what to some was an impossible feat. Many on board thought of her as being a bit cold; non-sociable in some ways; although to him she merely seemed misunderstood. Others just didn't understand that this woman didn't _choose_ to be that way. She was _made_ that way due to her childhood. At an early age she learned what seemed to be her code of honor; and that was to not trust anyone.

Fortunately for him, he went about earning her trust the right way. He learned to earn her trust professionally first while on Praxa. A friendship developed soon afterwards, and an underlying attraction that neither dared to mention, let alone act upon until the night she came to his quarters. A night that was soon relived shortly after their assignment to the _Enterprise D_, thanks to her seducing him while infected with the _Tsiolkovsky_ virus.

Her touch upon his arm as she rolled over to her side brought him out of his reverie. "Hey, I think we need a new plan...Don't you?"

"I wasn't aware that we even _had_ a plan, yet!" he turned his head to face her. "I was under the impression that we were just winging it," he motioned up toward the cave, "until they came along."

Tasha smiled at him and he was amazed at the sparkle that shone in her eyes.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that we 'need' a plan." She steadied herself with the palm of her hand as she pushed herself to her feet, smiling at the "hmph" noise that escaped his lips from her pushing into his chest. She reached her hand down to help him to his feet and in return he smiled and gladly took it. He walked over to a rock on the river's bank and sat down on it as he took one boot off and poured the water onto the ground and then the other before looking back to her. Again, he was greeted with a whimsical smile upon her face.

"What?" he inquired.

Tasha shrugged her shoulders as she walked over and sat beside him, then began emptying her boots out as well.

"Oh, nothing. I just can't believe you pushed me over a cliff," she chuckled a little. "When a man pushes you over a cliff, then you _know_ it's love!"

Day began putting his boot back on. "Well, in my defense I jumped with you. Actually if the truth be told, I pulled you along with me. I didn't push you."

"Oh yeah, that makes it better, doesn't it?" she said teasingly.

"Well, _I_ thought so!"

She nudged him in the side with her elbow, obviously needling him a little.

"Okay, so the next waterfall we encounter on some foreign planet, it's my turn to pull _you_ over the edge!" She held her hand out to shake his. "Deal?"

"Deal!" Day finished as he shook her hand in return. "I can't think of anyone else I would rather have by my side as they fling me over a cliff, than you."

Tasha again was smiling at the truth he revealed in his jesting manner and with an inquiring look in her eyes she responded, "I find you to be..." She stopped as she placed her finger to her chin, obviously trying to find the right words so that he would not misunderstand her. "...A very 'unique' man, Daystrom Soong."

"Hmmm," he agreed. "Well, just as long as you find me!"

Tasha threw her head back in laughter as he got up and offered his hand to her. Shaking her head from side to side in disbelief at this man in front of her, she took it.

"C'mon, m'lady. Let's go find another spot for shelter tonight."

Day stopped for a moment to take his tricorder and a backup flashlight that he packed out of his bag. It was then that she realized that she was trembling from the night air and her damp clothes. He handed the light to her as he walked further ahead, studying the readings of his tricorder while she shined the light in front of him.

"Remind me when we get back to send a thank you note to whoever designed these waterproof 'away bags'." Tasha said gratefully.

"Yes, they do come in handy during times of desperate measures."

Day looked up and then back to his tricorder as they kept on walking, and silence fell between them for some time. After what seemed like an eternity of walking, they finally came upon a cleft in one of the mountains. It was open enough for them to crawl inside and take shelter for the rest of the night. And again for the second time that night, Day began rustling around for small limbs, leaves and other kindling to start another fire. It only took him ten minutes and he was back by her side proportioning the limbs in a way that would ensure that the fire would burn the rest of the night. Soon, a spark was igniting as Day blew on it to bring the fire to life. Tasha sat back with her arms crossed, trying to conserve what little heat she still had as the flames began to burn the larger branches and logs that Day placed into the fire. She was amazed at how much knowledge this man seemed to have about the outdoors. Of course, Starfleet trained them in such matters but this man's knowledge seemed to go beyond that. She slid up getting closer to the fire before breaking the silence.

"So how did you learn so much about the outdoors?"

His eyes drifted up to meet hers with a look of confusion and a mixture of something else that she couldn't place yet she still pressed him further.

"You obviously know more than most Starfleet officers."

"My father used to take me and my brother camping every year when we were kids," he stopped for a moment with a faraway look on his face, obviously reliving the memories. "It was the only thing he would really do with us as a family," he shrugged his shoulders before adding, "I am closer to my mother than I am to my father. She, unlike my father knew how to juggle being a doctor and a parent. She was the one who basically raised me and my brother."

"You know, your father is known throughout the entire universe for his work in cybernetics."

Day just continued to look into the fire as he answered stoically.

"Yeah, well, he's a better doctor than he is a father."

No matter how hard he tried to mask the pain, Tasha was still able to pick it out of his voice. She always thought that he had it good, being the son of not one, but _two_ famous cyberneticists! She always pictured his life before Starfleet as nothing but easy. She assumed that this man as a child had everything handed to him on a silver platter. But the pain in his voice obviously evidenced a different story. She cautiously pressed him further, being gentle in her words.

"Day," She got up and walked to sit beside him as she grabbed his hands and held them both. "Day, I'm sure he's proud of you now - of the life you've made for yourself in Starfleet. No parent worth their salt could be otherwise."

He scoffed a laugh at her words.

"He wanted me to follow in his footsteps - to pick up where he had failed," He shook his head back and forth before continuing, obviously overwhelmed with something that appeared to be guilt. "He claimed that I showed more promise than my brother did. Instead I chose Starfleet." He turned to face her and added, "My being a disappointment seems to have no bounds..."

His alluded reference to him disappointing _her_ earlier, along with his father did not go unnoticed as she pulled him in for an embrace. Her arms tightened around him as she felt his slowly move to hold her as well. She positioned her lips by his ear as she wanted to emphasize her next words to this man.

"_You_..." she paused for a moment as she stressed each word, "Are. _Not_. A disappointment!" she pulled back to face him as she continued on. "You remember when your mother and father came on board the Enterprise to see us off before leaving the docking station?"

Day just simply nodded his answer.

"Well, your father was beaming with pride!" She moved her head so that he would have to look into her eyes before continuing, "Over _you_, Day! Over _his son_ being the second officer of Starfleet's finest ship ever built..."

Day brought his hand up to cup the side of her face as he stared into her eyes and she was greeted with that trademark smirk that she came to love so much. His thumb gently began caressing her face as she watched the look in his eyes go from guilt to a longing that only her kiss could relieve. She watched as he slowly began to move in to claim her lips. His lips were so close that she could feel his breathing upon hers. She sat ever so still, as he brushed his lips against hers...when suddenly she jumped back from the howling that came north of their direction.

"What was _that_?" asked Tasha, alarmed.

"From the sound of it, most likely a Talia."

"Are they dangerous?"

Day smiled a little at Tasha, who was always so brave in most all circumstances, yet afraid of some howling in the distance.

"No, lucky for us they are vegetarians. Very docile creatures," He reached out to stroke the side of her face once more. "Nothing to be afraid of."

"Oh." she said relieved.

"Don't you think you need to get out of those wet clothes?" Day asked, concerned.

Tasha's face began to blush from the thought of what he was suggesting.

"Well," she began stumbling over her words, "I'll be fine like this. Besides, they should dry soon with this fire going."

"Tasha, you are already shivering from the cold. You will never get warm unless you remove your clothing," He joked a little as he added, "I promise not to look."

She immediately got up and walked back over to her bag. She made sure to keep her eyes from meeting his as she opened it to retrieve the blanket inside.

"Well, in that case, that goes for you, too," She ventured a look his way and was met with what was without a doubt the most sexiest smile she had ever seen. "I won't look if you won't."

He agreed and turned around as she began removing her clothing. Suddenly his voice filled the small space between them.

"Let me know when you're covered up," he declared.

She thought the situation a little absurd. Wasn't it just hours ago that his lips were all over her body, eliciting pleasure that only he could do? Why now was she suddenly so nervous from his presence? But like the gentleman that he was, he complied to her silly request. _I mean, how many times has this man seen me naked already?_ she thought. So why feel so uncomfortable now? Was it because she told him she loved him? Or more pragmatically, was it because this situation was a little more serious than they had first anticipated; and now she seemed all the more aware that they needed to keep their wits about them and not be overcome with passion? Now just didn't seem to be the right time, no matter how badly she wished the timing were different.

Soon she was under her blanket, moving in closer to the fire to keep warm. _My God, what am I getting myself into?_ Even though the timing was all wrong, the idea of him being naked just a few meters in front of her would surely be invading her thoughts for the rest of the night. She inhaled a deep breath and exhaled a sigh as she spoke.

"Okay, I'm done. Your turn."

He turned around to face her and the gasp that escaped his lips due to the sight before him did not go unnoticed. She let a small smile form on the corner of her lips from the slip up. Suddenly, her smile became one from amusement to that of concern as he slowly began taking his boots off. Then his hands moved to his shirt as he began unbuttoning it, one by one. She was taken back by his actions as he held her gaze. She soon questioned him.

"Aren't you going to ask me to turn around?"

He began pulling his shirt off as he answered her flatly.

"No."

He sat down and pulled his socks off, only taking his eyes off of her long enough to remove them as he stood up again and moved his hands to the fastening of his pants. He laughed as Tasha eyes widened and she huffed in astonishment at his actions right before turning over so that her back was facing him as he continued undressing. His laughter seemed to cover the rustling sound of his pants being removed, masking the confirmation that he was completely naked. Only the sound of his voice confirmed her suspicions.

"Okay, you can turn around now."

She did so only to be greeted with his back to her as the light from the fire against his skin made the desire to touch him that much stronger. She couldn't help but to be disappointed when she found him turned away from her and a little annoyed as well.

"Oh, so now you're mad at me?" she said bemused.

He only whispered a silent "no" in return.

"Day, please turn around and look at me."

He did as she asked and the look in his eyes took her breath away. He was obviously trying to hide the desire that he felt for her. He, too, was struggling with the thought of her being naked just as she was with him.

"Day, I know this seems ridiculous..." she paused, amazed that he didn't interject his opinion that he agreed; it was ridiculous. Somehow instead he remained silent, listening to the sound of her voice only. "...But let me explain-"

His voice interrupted her.

"You don't have to explain anything. If this makes you comfortable, then this is what we will do," he assured her.

She smiled a little at his selfless nature. He always seemed the most happiest when he was pleasing her. When he had done something to bring her joy. Even during their lovemaking he seemed more concerned with her pleasure rather than his own. Most of the crew members probably never even took the time to notice. But it was another quality about this man that she had grown to love.

"I do have to explain, too," she sighed a little. "I don't want you thinking that I don't want you because..." she stalled for a moment before finishing, "...because nothing could be further from the truth."

He raised his eyebrows at that and the hint of a smile began to form.

"And?..." he motioned with his hand for her to continue.

She rolled her eyes as she realized he was obviously enjoying this rare moment of her opening up.

"And I think that with this mission and our already being discovered by the Ansata...well, maybe we need to just keep our heads about us, y'know?" She paused for a moment. "Day, they _have_ to be looking for us! They know we're here now..."

He pointed his finger at her to ensure the validity of his words.

"Actually, they probably think we're dead considering that plunge we took earlier."

"But we have to be prepared either way," Tasha emphasized.

"Yes, we do," Day agreed with her. "So what do you recommend that we do?"

She propped herself up on her elbow while holding the blanket in place. "Well, I think we need a _plan_."

"Okay... How about if, before sunrise we start making our way toward the Ansatas' headquarters?"

Tasha abruptly interrupted him.

"Day, they've already seen us!" she said, astonished.

"Yes, Tasha, but it was dark inside that cave. All they know is that they saw _some_one. But as far as what we look like, specifically, I think we did fairly well staying ahead of them. They never really got a good look at us," He paused for a moment. "And if I'm correct with my analysis, we are approximately five hours from the cave's entrance and about an hour ahead of the terrorist group we just encountered. The remaining faction is located sixty-two kilometers below the surface. I'm guessing that is where they are taking the hostages from the Tripoli..." He stopped a moment propping himself up on his elbow as well. "Considering the way we are dressed, we can easily blend in and we should have no concerns of our identity since there are well over three thousand members to this coalition."

And Tasha jokingly added, "And I must say you look mighty sexy with that white streak going through your hair as well!"

Day smiled back at her. "Unfortunately, Beverly thought of everything."

"I like it, it makes you look..." she paused a moment trying to find the right word, "...Older - I mean, _distinguished_," she quickly corrected herself.

His eyes widened with concern. "Am I to gather that you like older men, Tasha?"

"No, I just _lov-_" She stopped abruptly, realizing what she was about to say as he waited expectantly for her to finish her sentence. She shrugged her shoulders before correcting herself. "I just like _you_."

Day broke their gaze and looked down for a moment before looking back to her.

"Hmmm, that's nice to know. I guess I'd really be in trouble if you actually _loved_ me," She was amazed that he was still unsure despite her declaring it so earlier on. He began to speak again as she held her hand up stopping him from doing so.

"I do _love_ you."

"Do you now?" still he questioned her but this time he was digging for more.

"Uh-huh, I do..." then she added. "A lot."

He was obviously a little insecure concerning her feelings for him. And for good reason, she wasn't the type of woman who wore her heart on her sleeve. In fact, she didn't even like to mention her "feelings" to anyone. She was pretty much a closed book that refused to reveal its secrets hidden inside. But he apparently had won her favor. What she deemed as "off limits" to others, she gladly gave over to him when reassurance was needed. It appeared that this man had bewitched her. His voice broke her train of thought as she looked up to once again see that smirk upon his face and she wondered what exactly he was about to say next.

"So now that we have a plan, what would you like to do now?"

Well, that was easy! What she would've _really_ liked to do is to have allowed him to finish what he had started back in that cave before they were so rudely interrupted! But she knew that now just wasn't the time - instead she would have to settle for something else.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

He raised his eyes and without hesitation answered her openly.

"Anything you wish."

This man's desire to please her had no bounds and he wasn't shy in showing it. And she was soon reminded of the memory from the other day while in the holodeck, where he had her back pressed to the wall as he questioned her hold over him. She was never consciously aware of any "hold" that she had over a man. She never really deemed herself of that much value. And despite her unwillingness to admit that she had cast some type of spell over this man, he still proclaimed that she had done so. That she was worthy of doing so, not because of her past but in spite of it. He made her realize that she had caused him to fall in love with her by simply being who she was and nothing more.

Tasha couldn't help but to smile as she responded, "I wish..." she stopped a little embarrassed by the vulnerability in the request but still she ventured on, "I only wish for you to hold me."

She was rewarded with a broad smile upon his face. He jokingly requested for her to close her eyes as he got up to take his place behind her. Again he covered himself as he spooned up to her, placing his arm around her waist as he brought his lips up to her ear as he spoke.

"You can open your eyes now."

She did as he said while moving her hand upon his arm - holding him in place as if afraid that he would slip away through the night. She let out a contented sigh before saying, "G'night Day."

The whisper of his words sent shivers up her spine for a second time that evening.

"G'night Tasha."


	6. Rutia IV Part III

**If Only**

**Chapter 6 ~ "Rutia IV: Pt. 3"**

-x-x-x-

Tasha was still slumbering as Day quietly eased his way out from behind her and started getting dressed. He thankfully noted that their clothes had dried during the night. He folded up his blanket and packed it back into his bag. He then went and retrieved Tasha's clothing and brought them over to her. It was still dark out as he approached her and knelt down before her; only watching her for a moment as she slept. This woman's beauty amazed him and how he was able to capture her heart was beyond him but he was thankful for it. Gently he moved his hand to caress the side of her face. He lowered his lips to kiss her cheek as she started to stir a little. It was his voice that finally woke her up.

"Tasha, we need to get moving," he once again began stroking her cheek. "C'mon, time to get up and get dressed."

She rolled over to her back as she stretched her arms out, yawning. Day turned around as she started to rise up so she could get dressed. She turned to see her clothes lying on a rock beside her and she smiled to herself at his thoughtfulness.

"Thanks for laying my clothes out." She chuckled a little. "I think we can make it official now."

Day turned his head to the side but not completely around to look at her, as he could hear her still getting dressed.

"What's that?" he questioned.

"We're officially one of those old couples that everybody talks about - you know, the ones that brush their teeth together, lay each other's clothes out, make the bed up together and watch old Earth holo-films."

Day chuckled a little and then stopped abruptly as a realization hit him that was a little disturbing.

"Oh wow, you're right!" he reached down to pick his bag up before adding, "Please tell me that we don't have to start wearing matching outfits, too?"

She was obviously amused at his response - especially when she realized that (ironically), back on the ship, their Starfleet regulation-issue black and mustard-colored uniforms were virtually identical!

"No, I don't think we'll get _that_ bad!" she chuckled.

Day wiped his brow and let out an obvious sigh of relief.

"Thank God!" he blurted out.

"I know!" Tasha added. "That would be just terrible considering the fact that we already have to match with our uniforms...Could there be a fate _more_ cruel?" Tasha mocked him as she turned to see him narrowing his eyes at her.

She laughed a little at him, ignoring his icy gaze as she picked her bag up also. "Okay, I'm ready if you are."

He turned back around and pointed west of their destination. "We need to start heading this way. We have a long walk ahead of us."

Tasha began following as he took the lead.

Within two hours they both had came upon a cliff that slanted down to exactly where they needed to be. It appeared to be nothing more than a basic mountain slide of rock. It was steep and very dangerous to even attempt its descent. They both stopped as Day continued to scan with his tricorder for a better route. Tasha wiped her sweat away and sat down on a boulder close by as she waited for Day to finish scanning.

"Is there any other way?" Tasha asked.

With a sense of frustration, Day snapped the tricorder shut.

"No, this seems to be the only way," he paused for a moment, obviously perplexed. "This planet seems to be one challenge after another..."

Tasha stood once again to her feet and stretched her arms out as she was getting ready to go down the cliff. "Well, let's get started. We still have three more hours to go."

Day nodded his head as he got his footing on the cliff and offered his hand to her. She smiled a little at the gesture. He had most definitely never forgot that she could take care of herself, since she had so plainly made it clear to him so many times before while on away missions. But he always seemed to remind her of who he was as well. He was a gentleman - probably the last of his kind. Just as it was in her nature to turn down any help, it was in his nature to offer it; especially to a woman but more so to her. She gently placed her hand in his and the shock that she did so was very apparent in his eyes.

"We're going to have to slide down on our backsides - it appears to be the safest way down."

Tasha only nodded her head as they sat down at the top of the cliff and began her descent. She made a mental note of how he never let go of her hand until they reached the bottom, safe and sound. He was very protective over her, and at times it was a little irritating because she _could_ take care of herself; but she also found it strangely endearing as well. Perhaps that's why it was so unnerving to her at times. This was who he was. He loved her and wanted to keep her safe - close by his side, as if he were afraid that she would be suddenly, unexpectedly ripped away from him forever. Of course he was like this with other women as well. She has seen him protect Deanna before while they were engaged in a phaser fight during an attack on the _Enterprise_.

But with Tasha it was different - and she knew the root of it. The reason why he acted the way he did toward her - it was all because of that strange dream he had that night while staying over in her quarters. She remembered waking him up as he was sobbing openly from the pure pain that the dream had produced within him. She pulled him to her and he didn't just hold her. Rather he seemed to cling to her as if he couldn't believe that she was still there with him.

It was only later on that he confided to her that this particular dream had been reoccuring for quite some time. The two things that stood out most to him in the dream was that she had been killed by some huge, nondescript black mass; and that he was not himself. He was a robot of some sort - or worse, one of those androids that his father had been so unsuccessful in constructing.

So she knew just exactly where his protective nature over her came from and because of that she seemed to tolerate it a little better than she did before. She looked back up the cliff as Day helped her stand to her feet. All she saw was nothing more than a trail of dust rising up into the air and the noise of small rocks and pebbles sliding down the cliff that they had just descended. Day's voice brought her attention back to him.

"You okay?"

She turned to see once again that smirk upon his face of which she has become so fond. It didn't seem to take away from his appearance because it was only a half-smile; but somehow enhanced his physical appeal where it would've likely detracted from others'. She was very aware from the moment that she first laid eyes on him in Praxa that he was a very handsome man - and in a unique way all his own, to boot. She gave a small smile back as she dusted herself off.

"Yeah, I'm good. How about you?"

His face broadened into a full blown smile as she reached over and started to dust off his clothes as well. Despite her courage and her stubborness concerning her independence and self-reliance, at times she did allow a sort of maternal instinct to kick in - an instinct that was perfected at a young age from being forced to take care of her younger sister when she was still a child herself. She was very well guarded and most would have never even picked it out. But studying her was one of his hidden delights. She was a mystery to him. And he simply couldn't resist solving a mystery.

"I'm doing great," he finally responded and then added, as she dropped her arm back down to her side, "Come on, we need to keep moving."

She silently obeyed and started once again following him as he opened his tricorder back up and began leading the way. Within a few hours they had reached what appeared to be the Ansata's cave entrance. Day finally broke the silence as he stopped to grab her arm to keep her from moving any further.

"No matter what happens, don't let them separate us."

"Understood," she agreed as she took in a deep breath, as if mentally preparing herself with what they were about to do.

They slowly began walking into the entrance as the cold air that surrounded them quickly cooled down their hot skin. They both were looking around for a way below the surface when, within a few moments the cave's wall dematerialized, allowing three men to walk through. Day and Tasha calmly began walking toward the exit as the men eyed them up and down. One of them with a scar on his left cheek spoke, pointing out the obvious.

"Where are your weapons?"

Tasha said a silent _thank you _in her head for Day's quick thinking, as Day responded, "They were disabled by the phaser blasts from the Federation officers we encountered."

The two other men were quickly alarmed but the man with the scar remained calm as he questioned Day further.

"How did you encounter them?" the man asked.

"We were with Finn and the hostages. We stumbled upon the cave in which they had taken shelter," Day remained as calm as the man with the scar was in control. "They drew their phasers as we pursued them and fired upon us."

The man gave a small hint of a smile, as though impressed, yet still not quite satisfied with Day's response.

"And since you two are standing here in front of us unscathed, I'm assuming they got away," he paused a moment as he took a step closer to Day, obviously trying to intimidate him. "So why don't you enlighten us as to _how _they escaped?"

Day still remained calm as he too took a step closer to the man opposite of him, clearly showing him that his efforts of intimidation were in vain.

"A waterfall." Day said with a trace of agitation in his voice.

The man eyed him up and down before once again questioning him.

"Then where are Finn and the others?" he paused. "Why did you separate from the group?"

This man was getting too close for comfort in figuring out their true identities, Tasha thought. Day continued the façade as he answered him.

"Finn sent us ahead to warn you in hopes of beating the Federation here first," Day said stoically. "We must have been successful since it appears you haven't had any visitors yet."

The man with the scar snorted out a laugh.

"Only the Silver Paladin has showed up in hopes of negotiating for the hostages," he replied.

Day raised his eyebrows at that small piece of information.

"Hmmm. He will have no luck until the Federation hears Finn's demands."

The man only looked away as he began staring at Tasha. The smile began to fade from his face as it was replaced with a leer. He obviously liked what he was seeing.

"So what's in the bags?" he nodded toward the satchel on Tasha's back.

It was Tasha's turn to answer. As she had often instructed away teams under her command during reconnaissance missions, if they had to prevaricate, the safest and best strategy was to keep one's story as close to the truth as possible. "Only our supplies and rations from the journey." She began removing the bag from her back as she offered it to him. "Would you like to have a look?" She was hoping he wouldn't call her bluff.

The man once again smiled as he moved aside for Day and Tasha to enter, allowing that to be his answer. They slowly began walking as they heard the man yell back at Day, snapping his fingers as he did so.

"Your name seems to evade me..." He ceased snapping his fingers and began rolling his hand in an encouraging motion for Day to answer him.

"I am Raulin and this is Usala," he paused a moment before adding, "And you are?"

The man with the scar let a small smirk play at the corner of his lips as he answered him.

"I am Daroul." He bowed his head down and then back up before turning to walk off.

Day and Tasha turned back as well to walk through the cave's opening. Once inside, it appeared to be a lift of some sort that slowly dematerialized back into the rock. It began descending down into the cave as Tasha broke the silence.

"Usala?" Her eyebrows were furrowed from her obvious dislike of the name.

"It's all I could think of at the moment," He shrugged his shoulders and continued on, "When we were planning yesterday, we kind of left out the name part," gesturing somewhat distractedly between the two of them with his hand. "I presume they're using some type of holographic projection technology to disguise this conveyance..." he observed half to himself, running his hands along the interior structure of the lift in search of a trap door or other hidden control mechanism. One never knew when an alternate escape route might come in handy; and he was determined not to let any possible tactical advantage, however slight be overlooked.

Her dignity wounded, Tasha wasn't about to be diverted that easily, however. "Yeah, but Usala sounds like some independent, controlling _crazy woman_ who thrives on danger and adventure!" she complained, throwing her hands up in the air as if imitating the crazy woman of whom she was just speaking. Her eyes widened pointedly at Day as she huffed indignantly, "And I am not that kind of w-." She stopped the word from escaping her mouth as she caught the amusement in Day's eyes as he blankly stared at her. He comically waggled his eyebrows and she immediately realized that she _was_ describing herself as she heard him respond,

"I guess I have you pegged then!"

He couldn't help but smile as she scrunched her face up from the assumption he had just made.

"Shut up, Day!" Tasha spat, by that time thoroughly annoyed.

Day just smiled at her only to be rewarded with Tasha rolling her eyes at him. A few seconds passed as the humming sound of the lift stopped and the wall dematerialized once again allowing them to exit. They were greeted by the sight of a group of terrorists passing. Day grabbed hold of Tasha's arm pulling her along with him.

"Come on, let's see where they're going."

They hurried their pace a little until they caught up with the group. Thankfully no one seemed to be curious about them. They got some odd looks from the pair directly in front of them; but fortunately no one else seemed to want to question them as Daroul had done earlier. They walked down a long corridor that was lined with computerized monitoring systems and weaponry. These people were most definitely ready for a battle of independence.

The corridor seemed to have one door that opened into what appeared to be a council meeting taking place. And from what Day could see it appeared to have four men sitting at a round table in the middle of the room, as others stood around it. Within a few moments of listening to the terms that the Ansata were apparently laying out, a man came rushing in announcing that Finn had just arrived with the hostages. Everyone began applauding, then the man grabbed hold of Day and Tasha, placing a weapon in each of their hands.

"We need you two to stay with the hostages while Finn negotiates a deal with the Silver Paladin!" The man turned and made a beckoning motion with his hand, commanding them, "Follow me!"

Day and Tasha immediately followed him back through the exit and down the corridor to the lift once again. Instead of going up to the surface it only went down deeper into the cave. While in the lift the man made small talk.

"I hope Finn turns down this Silver Paladin's offers."

Tasha and Day shared a look as Day quickly responded.

"What is he offering?" Day asked.

The man looked back at them and smiled as he answered, "He says that he can talk the Rutians into offering us our independence. But he is only a mere dealer, not a negotiator."

Day looked a bit puzzled and the man continued on.

"He will not be successful."

"I'm sure Finn knows what's best for his followers, and will not be easily deceived by anyone," Day replied noncommittally.

The man just snorted a small laugh as the lift stopped and the wall dematerialized for them to exit. As soon as they walked out they were met with the hostages being held inside of a cell by a forcefield. Day immediately recognized the officer who had challenged Kyril Finn in the cave the day before.

The man turned around, then stopped and commanded them, "Kill them if they even try to break free!"

He patted Day on the back as he left. As soon as the doors were closed and the lift had moved on, Day immediately ran to release the forcefield.

Tasha announced, "We're from the Federation." The hostages stood up and walked through hesitantly, their eyes darting quick glances at the silverish-white streaks running through their rescuers' hair, as if somehow expecting a trap. Tasha reassured them, "We're from the _Enterprise_. Starfleet sent us to bring you back to the _Tripoli_."

The Commander recovered himself first.

"I'm Commander Sanchez," He motioned to the lady beside him, who was tall, thin and obviously of Bajoran descent, "and this is Lieutenant Commander Rioz." Finally he pointed out the last member of the away team that had been captured days before, "And this is Lieutenant Leison."

Tasha couldn't help but notice how tall Commander Sanchez was. He was virtually the height of Commander Riker. And Lieutenant Leison was very young. He appeared to be closer to Wesley's age, which was very unusual for someone that young to already claim the rank of Lieutenant. As for Lieutenant Commander Rioz, she could only describe her in one word - _unusual_. She couldn't help but notice how the Bajoran woman kept staring at her, as if peering into her very soul. The act alone seemed to unnerve her and she found herself welcoming the presence of Day returning to her side as he introduced them.

"I'm Lieutenant Commander Soong," He gestured toward Tasha, "And this is Lieutenant Yar." He glanced around at their curious faces, wryiy adding, "I'm sure you're all wondering just how we got here; and I assure you it's quite a story. But we'll save the details for back on the Enterprise..." _Well, not *_all*_ the details_, he thought, remembering his and Tasha's romantic reconciliation in the cave the previous evening. "Right now we need to get moving before they return and notice that you're missing!"

They quickly ran back to where Day and Tasha had originally exited. The wall dematerialized and they all walked into the lift. Despite their many questions about their rescuers, the current status of their ship and etcetera, the Tripoli officers seemed to sense that their daring, unexpected liberation notwithstanding, they were far from out of the woods; and so the only sound that filled their ears was the humming noise of the lift. When it stopped the wall opened once again only to find themselves face to face with Darryl Adin and Kyril Finn. A smug, self-satisfied smile broke on Dare's face as he saw Day and Tasha with the hostages.

"Going somewhere?" he asked.

Kyril looked over at Dare as he questioned him, "You know these two?"

Dare nodded as he answered him.

"I certainly do. They belong to the Federation's finest fleet. The galaxy class ship we all know as the _Enterprise."_


	7. Rutia IV Part IV

**If Only: **

**Chapter 7 ~"Rutia IV: Part Four"**

**-x-x-x-**

The men raised their weapons as they motioned for them to move back into the lift. The lift once again descended down and as the cave wall dissolved Kyril spoke as they all walked out of the lift.

"All of you into the cell. _Now_!" he commanded.

They did as he asked as Dare pointed at Tasha, warning Kyril, "I would watch that one." His next words were snarled, "She will turn on you when you least expect it."

Tasha leaped forward in front of the forcefield as she spat back at him, "If anyone is good at turning their back on the Federation, Dare, it's_ you_!"

Dare's eyes were emotionless as he took another step closer to her. No one would have ever realized just how much her words had stung him until the anger in his voice gave it away.

"It appears the shoe is on the other foot, Tasha..." He began to smirk as he finished, "Now you're the one locked up and watching _me_ walk away."

With that said he turned and stepped back into the lift as Finn followed him, leaving the two men behind to guard them.

Day recognized them immediately. It was the man with the scar on the left side of his face - who called himself Daroul - and Roman, the man they met in the cave with the patch over his eye, who appeared to be Finn's right-hand man. He knew this was most definitely going to be a long night. Both men seemed to be itching to get their hands on him. They both walked over to the forcefield; Daroul applying his palm to the computer as it completed its identifying scan of his hand. The forcefield immediately disappeared, but Roman stayed back, smirking, with his hand resting upon his weapon by his side. When Daroul grabbed Day, to Tasha's shocked surprise, Commander Sanchez and Lieutenant Leison leapt forward, tackling Daroul to the ground. Caught off-guard, Day was also brought down with him as both Tripoli officers began hitting Daroul wherever their hands and fists could find purchase. But within moments they stopped their assault as they heard Day's commanding voice:

_"Stop!" _and then again, more calmly but firmly, "Please, stop this now."

Both officers immediately ceased, releasing Daroul from their grasp as they followed Day's gaze upwards where it rested upon Tasha. Roman had roughly pulled Tasha's head back by a handful of hair, exposing her neck more fully to reveal the knife's blade that he rested upon it. The prideful glint in his sadistic eyes from the triumph of regaining the upper hand was unmistakably clear for all to see. Immediately, everyone stopped. Day's heart was desperately beating within his chest as he held his hands up by his sides, indicating defeat. He stood to his feet as he tried to negotiate with the man.

"Look, it's me you wanted." He paused a moment. "So take me, do what you like. Just - let her go!"

Roman jerked her head back with a greater force, as Tasha barely refrained from crying out. The man was clearly demonstrating his control over the situation - how he could so easily kill her and not once feel remorse over the action. Roman enjoyed watching Day beg, since he absolutely loathed the man for deceiving him earlier.

Day quickly moved his hand out once again, as if pleading with him to stop his assault on Tasha.

"Please - I'm begging you, please, just let her go."

"I don't know, I think we might have more fun with her. She holds so many possibilities! Whatcha' think, Daroul?"

Roman winked at Day as he slid his tongue up the side of Tasha's face, a perverse indication of his lecherous intentions. Daroul started laughing, nodding his head in full approval of Roman's unspoken inference.

Suddenly Commander Sanchez jumped to his feet and yelled at the man in front of him. "Just let her go!"

As Day moved forward towards Roman, a determined, oourageous spark appeared in his eyes. "If you ever touch her in _any _way again. I promise you, I will hunt you down and I _will_ kill you..."

The threat sent the man over the edge. He slung Tasha roughly to the ground and walked purposefully toward Day, gesturing threateningly with his knife.

"Not if I kill you first!"

Daroul raised his arm above Day's head. The last thing that Day remembered was Tasha screaming, "_No!"_ as all went black from the blow he had recieved upon the back of his neck; the reflection off the hilt of Roman's knife gleaming as if to mock his captors. Tasha watched as Day's body went limp and fell to the ground in slow motion.

Both men grabbed and dragged him out of the cell, stopping momentarily to reapply the forcefield. Roman turned to face Tasha once again, this time with a smug, self-satisfied grin. "Remind me later to thank your friend for making our decision so much easier for us." His cackling laughter echoed off the passageway walls as he added going down the corridor, "You're next, darlin'!"

Both men laughed sadistically as they walked down the corridor, dragging Day's limp body with them; Tasha's gaze following as as far as she could see. They turned into a room that appeared to her to be some sort of torture chamber. Her heart was beating faster from the fear of what they were going to do to Day. To try and distract her own thoughts, she frantically began moving around the cell, placing her fingers into the crevices of the rock trying to find some sort of hidden device that would allow them a way out. Anything that would allow them a means of escape or advantage, so that she could keep them from harming Day. She knew that Day could handle his own; but she also knew that these men were not going to let Day loose either. They would keep him bound and deliver their blows that way. She was beginning to panic as she realized that her search was yielding nothing. No way out, no hidden device. Suddenly she felt a pair of hands gently but firmly grab her shoulders, stopping her from the vain effort. It was Lieutenant Commander Rioz.

"It's no use," she shook her head apologetically.

Tasha leaned back against the cool rock and closed her eyes for a moment, as she began moving her head restlessly from side to side, repeating the word "no" over and over again. She was obviously in denial, unwilling to admit defeat. She spun around quickly to face Rioz.

"There has to be _something_ that I'm missing! I just have to think - I have to just stop and th-" Her words faded as she placed her hands over her face and her shoulders began to shake from the sobbing that overtook her. The Bajoran only pulled Tasha to her as they both slowly slid down the wall of the cell she had just been exploring. All Tasha could do was cry and hope that they wouldn't hurt Day too badly. The only comforting words she heard were those from Rioz:

"He's a strong man, he will endure!"

Tasha's earlier unease with the Bajoran woman was noticeably absent when Rioz's gentle, calming hands moved from around her formerly brave would-be liberator's back to the upper sides of her face; Rioz bowing her own head slightly. Opening her eyes after a brief moment, Rioz looked discerningly but compassionately into Tasha's eyes, adding, "And so will you."

Tasha suddenly jerked her head up, confused. _What does this woman know about me and Day?_ "This is not the end for you two - there is more to come," Rioz assured her.

**-x-x-x-**

It was only a few hours later that the sound of the descending lift began to fill their room. Tasha slowly lifted her tear-stained face to see Darryl Adin walking towards them. His face was immediately filled with concern at the sight of Tasha's tears. He instantly began visually scanning the cell and noticed that Day was missing.

Within moments the door to the room that held Day inside opened. The men were both holding Day's arms as his face was slumped down against his chest, still. He was obviously out cold. The men dragged him back to the cell as Dare questioned the both of them.

"What did you two do to him?" he demanded.

Both men began laughing at Dare's tight-lipped expression of thinly-contained outrage, as Roman placed his hand on the console, opening the cell again.

"Relax, we just wanted to have a little fun with him," Daroul said in defense as the men dragged Day back inside the cell.

They immediately dropped him and the hard _thump_ of Day's upper body hitting the rock floor echoed throughout. Tasha quickly scrambled to her feet, brushing almost carelessly by Rioz in her haste to reach Day's side. She turned his face to reveal a busted lip and a black eye. He also had a cut on his forehead that had blood seeping from it. As she scanned further, she also noticed the blood that was escaping his right ear.

Still in shock from the sight of him, she barely heard Dare's next words: "Finn gave you both strict orders not to harm any of them."

The men both rolled their eyes in unison as Roman responded,"Oh!" He pointed over toward Day lying within the cell and said in defense, "Well, you see, he was out of hand and we had to put him back in line."

Tasha turned immediately to face the man who had just told the bald-faced lie.

"Why don't you two stop wasting time trying to cover your ugly rear ends - because believe me, it isn't possible - and just admit the truth already!" she yelled, her tears threatening to spill forth once again. "You both basically decided to beat a defenseless man simply because you get your kicks out of it."

The man turned to face her as he spat his words back in defense.

"And just who do you think Kyril is going to believe - a hostage, or his second-in-command?"

Tasha just turned back to Day as she removed her jacket and bundled it up, placing the makeshift but comparatively comfy-looking pillow into her lap. The other officers helped to roll Day over and laid his head down to rest on top of the jacket. She completely ignored the man's question as Dare surprisingly answered for her, in a menacing tone:

"He may not believe them, but he might believe me."

As Dare turned to make his way toward the lift he heard Roman speak up once again. "You think because you are here to negotiate our release from the Rutian government that you hold a higher regard as far as Kyril is concerned?"

Dare stopped, refusing to turn around and answer the man's taunting question. The wall dematerialized, revealing the lift and Dare took the opportunity to walk inside. As he turned back to face Roman once again the man finished his threat.

"I can kill you at a moment's notice and have Kyril persuaded that you were not who you claimed to be all in one day." As the wall was materializing back into place he heard the man scream his next words, "Just try me, _Silver Paladin_!"

It was obvious that the man was bluffing Dare, which led him to believe that just maybe the relationship between Kyril and Roman wasn't as trusting as the man claimed it to be. But it gave him something to think on.

**-x-x-x-**

It wasn't until a few hours later that Day finally began to stir, moaning from the obvious pain that was inflicted upon him. Tasha was immediately stroking his face gently as she tried to comfort him.

"Ssshhh! I've got you." Her fingers left the side of his cheek and ran through his hair as she continued, "You're gonna be just fine."

He ventured a look up to her with the one eye that wasn't bruised. He tried to smile a little as he laughed, in an attempt to relieve her worries as he quipped, "I must be a sight for sore eyes..." He instantly regretted the action as he began coughing and wincing from the pain in his ribs that the laugh produced.

"Day, don't talk. You just need to rest," Tasha said, concerned. She looked over toward the two men who had attacked Day, only to see them smiling at Day's obvious discomfort from the blows he had received. She leaned in to whisper her next words in his ear, "Close your eyes."

Day smiled a little. "It's not as bad as it looks." He winced a little as he turned his head to the side so that he could get a better look into her eyes. "I'll live," he added light-heartedly.

Tasha returned his smile and leaned in to kiss him on his forehead as she whispered, "You just _had_ to go and piss off the craziest ones in the bunch, didn't you?"

"I seem to have a knack for it," Day replied jokingly.

The double meaning didn't go unnoticed as Tasha narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, I'm only crazy when it comes to one thing..."

Day waited patiently for her to finish as once again she whispered her words so that only he could hear them.

"...And that's _you_!"

She was rewarded with a full blown smile followed by a sigh of pain from the effort. Her own smile broadened as he closed his eyes and nuzzled his head further into her lap, sighing a contented "hmm" at her answer. Instinctively he opened them back up as the lights dimmed - a sure sign that night had fallen, and the Ansatas would be resting soon. That would provide them with a chance of escape, he hoped.

It had been a good while since the lights had been turned down and even longer since Dare had left them. Tasha was beginning to wonder if Dare was successful in persuading Finn into believing that his second in charge was by all rights insane. She glanced over in the direction of Roman and Daroul and noticed the men were still awake. Of the five prisoners, Day appeared to be the only one who was resting; and he was soon awakened by the lift descending again. He moaned a little as he sat up. Tasha helped him move his back against the wall as he leaned his head back to rest upon it. He looked up just in time to see Dare and another man exiting the lift, stopping to stand in front of the guardsmen.

"Kyril is asking for you both," Dare said, motioning toward the lift.

Roman stood up abruptly, pointing his finger in Dare's face.

"After an agreement is reached about the state of our independence, I plan to kill you!"

Poet, who was by Dare's side moved forward, obviously not intimidated by the threat. Dare only smiled as he spoke.

"Why wait, Roman?" He motioned between the two of them. "It's two against two now. I believe the odds have changed a bit."

A sadistic smirk overtook Roman's face as he answered Dare's challenge. "In time...in time."

Roman and Daroul turned to enter into the lift as Roman stared back at Dare. "They say patience is a virtue; and I have nothing but time." With that the wall reappeared and the lift began to ascend.

Dare immediately gave orders for the man who was with him to open the forcefield cell. He placed his hand upon the console and waited as it scanned over his palm. After the cell was opened, the man began peeling off a glove-like material that covered his palm. The hostages all looked at him questioningly.

"It's an adhesive glove that sticks on to the palm of the hand," Dare explained. "with the imprint of Kyril's hand signature upon it."

Dare noticed the questioning glances from all four hostages as he explained further, "Let's just say, Kyril and I have come to an agreement. And this glove will allow us to open any obstacles that we may encounter along the way."

Poet held out his hand displaying the glove that was transparent. It looked to be merely just his hand with no glove intact, a clever ploy on their behalf.

Dare spoke again. "Day, can you walk?"

He nodded and Tasha began to help him stand up. She wrapped his arm around her neck as she helped him exit the cell. Poet looked at the tricorder on his side.

"According to this, enough time has passed that we can safely exit out of here and not be detected." He looked up at Dare. "We need to get moving."

Dare nodded as he ran over to the lift, waiting for it to open as the others came up from behind him. The doors opened as they all hurried inside, Tasha still holding on tight to Day. The lift began to rise to the surface as the wall dematerialized. Dare poked his head out to see if it was clear. He then walked out into the cave as he motioned with his hand for the others to follow. They all followed close to the cave's walls, trying to hide their shadows from the light cascading inside from the three moons that surrounded the planet. Dare stopped immediately as two armed guards stood outside the cavern's entrance.

Suddenly an alarm began to sound along with the blinking green lights and they knew that their escape had not gone unnoticed. The two guards quickly turned to the sound as Dare and Poet both fired their phasers, knocking both men back from the force of the fire. They all began scrambling out of the cave as the lift opened once again, only to reveal Roman and Daroul exiting it with another hand full of men at their sides. Dare began firing in the men's direction as Tasha and the hostages kept moving forward. Poet also stayed behind to help Dare hold the men back as he handed the tricorder over to Tasha, shouting over the phaser fire:

"Take this and follow its destination," Poet explained.

Tasha nodded as she looked down at the tricorder_. _ Their escape route was clearly visible on the screen along with the location of Dare's mercenary ship that was waiting in the wings for their arrival. Still holding onto to Day, she pointed the way ahead.

"Another one-point-three kilometers north and we should be reaching the ship."

They all began running north as Tasha helped Day along, who was already doing a good job at keeping up his pace with the group despite his injuries. Tasha could still hear the phaser fire in the distance behind them, accompanied with the screams of men from both sides. She was grateful to Dare and was shocked to find that she had him pegged all wrong. All this time she thought he was in league with the terrorists, but apparently he proved her wrong again. She knew considering his training in Starfleet as a former Security Officer that he could most definitely hold his own, but still she worried over his safety. She was even more concerned with getting Day the medical attention he needed, however. She was sure that he had two broken ribs, along with a conscussion to the head and God only knew what else. She ventured a glance at Day only to see him wincing from the pain that he was enduring from the run.

"We don't have much further, Day," she encouraged him, willing him the strength to make it.

He peered over toward her, forcing a smile in a sincere attempt to let her know that despite the pain he was able to keep going.

As they reached their destination, they all were disheartened to find that they had to scale a steep cliff made up completely of rock. It was the one that Day and Tasha had to slide down before coming upon the Ansata headquarters. Day leaned down, propping his hands just above his knees as he bent over in a desperate attempt to catch his breath. Tasha glanced around trying to make note of the three boulders that were around them. She looked at the other officers as they all nodded in unison. She reached down grabbing hold of Day's arm.

"Come on, Day. All we have to do is climb up this cliff and we're out of here."

Day peered up toward her, nodding his head up and down and gasping between each word.

"Let's...get..." He pointed up to the cliff in front of them, "...going!" he wheezed.

She placed his arm back over her shoulder as the others had already began climbing up. They all hunched over using their hands to help them climb up the steep cliff. Tasha watched as several rocks became dislodged and began rolling downward towards them. She was having second thoughts about not waiting until the others had made it to the top before Day and herself began climbing. But the echoes of the voices that were closing in caused her to change her mind yet again. As she and Day began moving a bit too quickly up the cliff, Tasha was using her left hand to help push them up as she held Day with her right.

The dust stirred up from the falling rocks farther ahead was starting to sting her eyes; and with blurred vision she made the mistake of trying to stand upright to get a better view. She immediately lost her footing and began to slide back as Day moved forward. He quickly reached out for her, grasping her jacket only to feel it slip through his grip. Day hollered her name out loud as he began to hurriedly follow back down the cliff in pursuit of Tasha. She began to roll and tumble with the rocks as she could barely make out Day following down. Suddenly everything went black as she smashed into one of the boulders below.

Seconds later Day was at her side, frantically trying to rouse her back to consciousness. He noted the blood that was pouring out the gash on the side of her head. He was desperately doing everything he could think of - he ripped his sleeve from his shirt and began applying pressure to the open wound. He then turned her head from side to side to make sure her neck had not been broken. At last he felt for a pulse and silently thanked the God that be who allowed her to remain here with him, still. He tried determinedly to pick her up and was grateful to find Dare and Poet running up to his side.

"What happened?" Dare asked, stunned at the sight of the blood that was running down the side of Tasha face.

"She lost her footing and fell," Day looked up at Dare, his face mirrored the panic he felt.

Dare quickly lifted her up, while Poet grabbed hold of Day and all four of them hurried up the cliff. They only had to run zero-point-four more kilometers and they were finally home free. Finally they were met with the welcoming sight of Dare's ship hovering just slightly over the edge of another cliff. Dare gave the word to his crew and the doors began to open as a ramp extended down toward them. They'd no sooner all got safely inside when phasers began bombarding the sides of the vessel. One of his crewmembers, Pris, began firing in return as Day grabbed Poet's phaser, firing back and striking Daroul in the chest while Poet dragged him aboard the ship.

Dare looked around, noting that all were safe on board as the ships doors began to close. He gave orders to the helmsman to fly them out of there. The engines powered up and within moments their eyes were met by the beautiful sight of stars surrounding them. Day got up and hurried over to Tasha. Dare looked up and noticed Day glaring at him. Dare furrowed his brow in confusion, then suddenly he was knocked backwards by Day's right hook connecting with his jaw.

Dare placed his hand over his jaw as he moved it back and forth. "What the hell was _that_ for?"

Day bent over once again panting for air as he glanced in Dare's direction to answer him, "That's for lying to me about you and Tasha."

Day then sat upright and extended his hand out to him, as he helped Dare to his feet.

"And that is for helping get her to safety."

Dare gave him an incredulous look as he spoke, still massaging the left side of his face.

"A verbal discipline would have sufficed, Day." Dare tested his jaw alignment one final time as he walked off toward the helm of his ship, ranting. "I mean, you could have cussed me out instead of hitting me for trying to steal _my_ girl back. Cripes!" Leaning over the navigation console, he gestured backwards towards Day as he wryly told the helmsman, "Watch him - he's got a mean right hook." The helmsman was only smiling in return, obviously amused by the scene before him.

Day just moved over closer to Tasha as he picked her up and held her in his arms. The Bajoran came up later and began wrapping a tunic around Tasha's head. When done, she smiled up at Day as he whispered a silent "thank you" in return. She only nodded and moved back to her seat. Day found it amusing that Dare was staying his distance away from him and Tasha, as he'd sent Poet to deliver the news that the _Enterprise_ received their message and was now entering orbit. Within moments Captain Picard's voice filled the mercenary ship's bridge.

"I hereby request the return of the Federation officers you have aboard your ship; and I extend a hand of gratitude toward your Captain for aiding in their safe return to us."

"Captain, I hereby relinquish them back into Federation territory," Dare replied. "You have five awaiting to beam aboard. But you also have two officers in need of medical attention." He turned around and glanced over in Tasha's direction one last time, his facial expression inscrutable. "Oh, and you're welcome," he added to Captain Picard, but the smile aimed in Day's direction did not quite reach his eyes as he watched them energize from the bridge of his ship.


	8. A New Beginning

**If Only: Chapter 8**

**"A New Beginning"**

*****First off, I want to publicly thank Bookfan87 for editing this story. She has done an amazing job at making this story a better read for all you readers. We both place hard work into this story, writing and re-editing new scenes, as well as old ones. And I am honored that she would be so willing to give up her time to invest so much into this story. So if you are enjoying this story, please leave a review and let us know. You have no idea how much the reviews that are left encourage the writer and the editor to continue on with the story. Thanks!*****

**-x-x-x-**

Dr. Beverly Crusher was running back and forth between Ensign Roberts and the amnesiac who now lay restfully asleep in one of the biobeds. After bandaging the young Ensign's wrists, which she had concluded was only sprained and not broken, she ventured back over to the young security officer who was now awake.

"And how are we feeling today?" Dr. Crusher inquired.

"Actually, I don't have any idea how _you're_ feeling," the patient quipped back in mock annoyance at the doctor's use of the editorial _we_. It elicited a smile from Beverly, who was pleased to see she was getting back into her usual good spirits, at least. "But _I_ feel like my head is about to explode!..." Studying the older woman's face, she added, "...Doctor-?"

"Crusher. I'm Doctor Beverly Crusher," Beverly finished.

"Mmm. I'm sorry, I didn't recall." The young woman paused a moment and then asked, "Where's my fiancé?"

Beverly's eyes went wide with shock from the question that had been posed.

"Tasha, I never knew you to be engaged!"

"But I am...to Commander Darryl Adin."

"Ah! I see...Please excuse me for a moment, Tasha."

The young woman simply nodded as Beverly left her side to return to her office. She took a seat and immediately began searching the ship's computer and Starfleet's medical database for any type of explanation of the phenomenon that has just fallen into her lap. Of course, having amnesia wasn't unheard of these days; but she needed to know just exactly what type of amnesia Tasha had. During her search, her thoughts gradually drifted towards the man who seemed to be the most concerned about Tasha's well-being...idly wondering how he was going to handle this type of news.

The two of them had appeared to have become quite close over the past few months. She couldn't help but notice how, shortly after their close brush with the _Tsiolkovsky_ virus, the tension on board the ship had escalated. Considering that under its influence many of the crew members - including herself and the Captain - had tossed off their natural inhibitions like a fur coat on a hot summer's day on Risa, it was quite understandable. Of course, they had no reason to feel remorseful over it. She was a widow herself, and the Captain a bachelor. The attraction between the two had lasted well through the years that had passed since Jack's death.

And from the gossip aboard the ship, Jean-Luc and herself were not the only ones who had openly expressed these desires. It was rumored that the same had happened for Commander Riker and Counselor Troi - along with the woman who now appeared to have retrograde amnesia and the ship's Communications Officer, Daystrom Soong.

She couldn't help but notice Day's unusual preoccupation with the Security Chief lately. The man who used to exhibit passive behavior toward the opposite sex now seemed to reach a peak of interest. And Tasha, a woman who based her whole life on seclusion, to everyone's surprise had been brought out of her shell by Day. Both officers seemed to be spending a lot of time together, especially in the holodeck. The relationship was unquestioningly more than one that walked the straight lines of Starfleet protocol. Presuming the reports were true, she knew that the information she was forced to reveal would instantly break Day's normally calm nature. She especially dreaded having to tell him that Tasha no longer remembered him. Not to mention the fact that she was asking for a "Darryl Adin" while her good friend - no, make that her _best_ friend she could no longer place.

_Speaking of this "Darryl" person,_ Dr. Crusher thought, _I wonder..._She found him listed in Starfleet personnel records as a former chief of security, having resigned from his commission; and was surprised to discover that Tasha _had_ in fact been engaged to him... Seven years ago, before graduating from the Academy. Not only that, but according to a more recent file entry, Adin (also known in this sector of the galaxy as the "Silver Paladin") was also on Rutia as a diplomatic intermediator, having played a crucial part in the rescue and return of the Federation hostages...Including Day and Tasha.

_Very interesting_...So now she had a timeline for how many years Tasha's memory had regressed. _Seven years, that's a lot of time to lose, _she shook her head.

Beverly looked up to see Day walking back into sickbay, no doubt to once again check on Tasha and get the status of her recovery, since the woman had been in and out of consciousness for two days now. She noted thankfully that the visible effects of his torture while on the planet below were no longer evident upon his face or body.

To Day's surprise Tasha was up, but appeared somewhat uneasy at his approach towards the side of her biobed. She turned hesitantly to face him.

"How are you feeling?"

The look upon her face was that of nothingness. It was if anything, blank - almost as if she didn't even recognize him. No surprise, delight, relief or any other emotion appeared in her eyes. Her actions, or rather her non-actions were really starting to concern him, untll she finally answered him:

"Um, good, I guess. The side of my head still hurts a bit, but nothing that won't heal in time."

He smiled at her response and reached down to take her hand in his, when suddenly she recoiled hers away from him. He backed away, a little embarrassed from the silent rejection. Although hurt by the gesture, he still risked a glance her way before adding, "Good, that's good to hear."

The confusion still seemed to fill her eyes, as if she were trying desperately to place just exactly who he was to her.

"I'm sorry, your name seems to escape me. And you are..." Seeing the pips on the collar of his uniform, she quickly added, "...Commander-?"

Day's heart sank at the revelation of her words as Beverly walked into the room and stopped to stand beside him. Tasha just blankly looked back and forth between the pair as she heard the Doctor speak to the man in front of her.

"Day...Can I have a word with you in my office?"

He just nodded his head, his gaze reluctant to leave Tasha's face as Beverly took him by the arm and led him away.

"Day, you need to have a seat."

He silently sat down as he placed his head into his hands. "She doesn't even know me, does she?"

The pain of Tasha being able to forget him after all they had been through was evident in his voice. Beverly walked over to him and placed her arms around his shoulders as she pulled him to her, trying her best to console him.

"Day, it's only short-term."

His head snapped up, hope shining in his eyes.

"What do you mean, 'short-term'?"

Beverly pulled her arm back to take hold of his hands in his lap, her eyes commanding his full undivided attention, patience and understanding of the information she was about to divulge.

"Well, Day, she has retrograde amnesia. In most cases, as it deals with past persons and events it is short-term, if that is of any comfort. It seems that some things she remembers from years past, and some things she doesn't. You see, when Tasha took her spill on that planet, the cliff boulder primarily impacted with her prefrontal cortex. That's the area of our brain which is responsible for such things as our focus, planning, impulse control, emotional control, empathy, judgment and insight. Unfortunately, the area directly anterior-adjacent also serves as a 'storage container' of sorts for highly charged emotional memories, both positive and negative; and thus can be affected by traumatic experiences."

"Now, I've repaired the skull fracture along with the internal-external tissue damage," she continued, "but Tasha's full cognitive functions may take a while to completely return to normal. Other than psychological counseling, which is of some limited benefit and is outside of my area of professional expertise, there's really nothing that medical science can do at this stage to hasten the process. At this time there is no surgical procedure or pharmaceutical compound known to have any positive effects. It _has_ to occur naturally, in the patient's own individual timing," Beverly emphasized.

"I've narrowed it down to the past seven years that has been wiped from her memory." She gave his hand a little squeeze. "Day, she doesn't recall you at all, and very few of her experiences on the _Enterprise_. I'm not sure what exactly has caused this displacement. Perhaps it was the recent stress of having to relive her past relationship with Dare, due to his surprise visit on Rutia. Maybe that is why her brain retained her memories of him and not you. But all she needs is something to trigger those memories, Day. Anything could do it."

Day lowered his head back down, his warm, welcome ray of hope suddenly obscured by a cloud.

"Or any_one_, right?"

Beverly looked at him, unsure of what he meant. Day continued on.

"If the last seven years of her memory have been wiped away, then in her mind, she is still engaged to him...Right?"

He finally looked up to meet her eyes; searching for the answer that he really didn't want to hear.

"Day-"

He interrupted her, holding up a hand to stop her before she could deliver any more false hope yet again.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

Beverly let out a deep sigh of resignation before answering him.

"Yes, Day, you're right...Actually, she has already been asking for him."

He lowered his head back into his hands as he slumped his shoulders, defeat evident in his features. He appeared to be a man who had just been delivered his final rights before being marched off to a firing squad. Although she didn't completely understand their relationship, Beverly did know that the two were very close. And she was well aware of the rumors on board the ship that seemed to indicate something much more between the two. She never invested too much in hearsay. But his countenance appeared to be more that of a lover who had just been widowed by the loss of his mate than that of a concerned friend.

Suddenly his voice broke the awkward silence; and the despair that laced it made her pity the man.

"What do I do _now_?" It seemed that just as he got her back, she would be abruptly ripped away from him yet again. He rubbed his hands through his hair and lifted his face back to look at Beverly.

Beverly wasn't sure but could have sworn that she saw tears in his eyes before he got ahold of himself and pushed them back, obviously trying to hide just exactly how distraught he was. She reached out to take his hand in hers once again, trying her best to offer this man some kind of consolation.

"Day, I know you love her," she whispered. His eyes widened at her revelation and she paused and held up a hand in defense, stopping him from the impulse to explain himself. "That much is obvious. And I know things look bleak right now. But you have to believe that she _will_ remember you. Just start over from scratch. Do whatever is necessary to _make_ her remember you. Don't give up so easily, Day." She paused for a moment. "I don't think Tasha would want you to, either."

He semi-snorted a laugh, "But how?"

He immediately realized that he unconscously revealed their little secret. It was obviously a Freudian slip on his part - one which thankfully seemed to go unnoticed.

"Well you could start by regaining her trust in you. You did it once and it can be done again." Beverly assured him.

"Doctor, are you suggesting that I court her all over again?"

Now it was Beverly's turn to widen her eyes as she realized the final confirmation that the rumors were apparently true after all. Maybe she should pay more attention to the hearsay around the ship! Besides, another rumor that had been floating around was of her and a certain Captain...

She gave his hand another little squeeze. "That's exactly what I'm suggesting, Day. Keep in mind though, unless I miss my guess, Tasha didn't fall in love with you overnight; and it's highly unlikely to happen this time around, either. But with patience, understanding and a healthy dose of consideration, she should eventually come around. Just spend time with her, as any close friend would. _Be there_ for her during this time of her recovery - and allow things of a more, er, shall we say _romantic_ nature to transpire naturally."

He suddenly leapt forward and kissed her on the cheek. As shock flooded the doctor's features, she merely smiled at his whispered, "thank you!" to her before he headed back to Tasha's side.

Day knew that if he was ever going to win Tasha back, he would have to gain her trust, first. Her eyes looked up at him, still with no recognition in them. His heart silently ached for her and for what she was going through. No one could even begin to imagine what it must be like to lose the last seven years of your life.

It was Tasha's voice that broke that silence.

"Your name is 'Day'?"

Any other man might have found hope in her mentioning his name. But it was the _way_ she mentioned it. It wasn't confirming who he was; it was asking him _if_ that was who he was. He smiled as she pointed in the direction of Beverly, now busy checking on another patient.

"She called you 'Day'."

He wordlessly nodded his head in agreement as she continued on.

"So, is that all of your name?"

She giggled at her question a little. She was joking with him! That act alone brought him the hope that he so desperately was searching for in that particular moment.

She was greeted with a small smirk on his part. And oddly enough, despite not knowing this man she found him _very_ attractive. _Man, I'll bet whomever *_his*_ heart belongs to enjoys some pretty exciting shore leave!... _Dare would kill her if he knew what she was thinking!

Speaking of Dare he should be here. _Where is he, anyway? Why is it that this man standing before me seems to be the only one concerned about me?_ _Has something happened to Dare?_ Her uncertainty and new-found worry suddenly interrupting her appreciation of the mysterious, attractive gentleman, she began to raise her upper body from the biobed in an attempt to find out what exactly was going on with her topsy-turvy world.

Suddenly a wave of dizziness overcame her and her right hand flew to her forehead. The man in front of her gently eased her shoulders back down to their original resting position as his voice brought her back, although her panic was still rising. "Whoa, take it easy, Tasha. You've experienced a severe blow to the head while on an away mission on Rutia. We can't exactly have you wandering the hallways of the ship, here!...'Captain, there's an unguided, activated missile loose in Ten-Forward!'..." His spontaneous light teasing caused her to chuckle, eliciting an easy, genuine smile from him in response. "I promise you though, everything's going to be alright. I'm Commander Daystrom Soong." He slowly put his hand out to shake hers. "But you always called me 'Day'."

Her eyes sparked at that piece of information. Now she was starting to get somewhere! At least this man was telling her things about herself - what happened that brought her here. She reached out to shake his hand in return and was caught up by the look in his eyes as her hand touched his. It was not one of that between a simple commanding officer and a colleague. She was starting to get the impression that maybe this man harbored certain feelings for her. But she was engaged, soon to be married to another! She thought it wise to take this opportunity to ask him about Dare. Being higher up in the chain of command than she, surely he had to know where he was! Still holding his hand, she asked just exactly what she wanted to know.

"I'm sorry, Day..." She purposefully released his hand to hopefully communicate that she was an engaged woman and despite her loss of memory, this man was overstepping his bounds. "But where's my fiancé? I mean, shouldn't he be here instead of you?"

The words stung and the hope that he had gained earlier was soon taken from him. Beverly came up from behind him, placing her arm around him while answering her.

"Tasha, I think that you and Day need to have a little talk. He needs to explain some things to you about your past," she paused to look reassuringly at Day, "and about Dare."

_Oh God...He's dead! Of course, it makes sense. That's why he's not here. This man must be his commanding officer, and they sent him to tell me the news!..._ But why now? Why at this time, when she was so clearly missing so many of her memories? Her despair and concern finally came spilling out:

"He's dead...isn't he?" she choked out.

And at that moment, deep down, Day wished he was. He knew that was a negative thought to entertain, let alone say out loud; but he knew if Dare got word of this situation he would no doubt find a way to show up on board the _Enterprise_ and whisk Tasha away. To make things worse, he desperately wanted to lie and say "yes."

But instead he pulled a seat up and chose to start from the beginning. Besides, this woman deserved the truth. Even if he was digging his own grave in return, he would take that chance. As long as she was happy, that was really all that mattered to him. As much as he didn't want to admit the possibility of losing her, he would accept it - but only if it ensured her happiness. He slowly began shaking his head from side to side.

"No, he's alive and well," he answered.

He could read the question in her eyes before she even said it.

"Then where is he, Day?'' She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath before facing him again. " I mean, he promised- He should be here...Shouldn't he?"

Day slid his chair a little closer to her bedside as he reached to take her hand in his before explaining. He found himself feeling thankful that she even allowed the gesture.

"Tasha, he was arrested a few years back and charged with conspiracy." She was shaking her head "no" as he held his hand up, trying to keep her from panicking. "Don't worry, he was eventually acquitted of the charges two years after he escaped, thanks to you helping to clear his name." She smiled at that, and his heart broke for her at his next words. "But not before the relationship ended."

She suddenly jerked her hand away from his, her words cutting him deeper than she intended them to.

"You're lying!"

He outwardly winced, the pain of her remark evident upon his face.

"No, Tasha..." his eyes seemed to capture hers, as he was pleading with her to believe him. "I'm not lying to you. He broke the engagement once he thought that you had betrayed him by believing the accusations against him." He whispered the next words. "Please, believe me."

She was stunned by the news. And he knew that she was experiencing the heartache that Dare had once brought upon her, for a second time. The excruciating emotional pain was evident in her voice.

"Can you please leave?"

If he knew anything about this situation, he knew not to be to overbearing. He had to give Tasha some space and not force himself upon her. He would come and check on her tomorrow, but for now he would do what she was asking of him. He slowly put his head down and the only sound that seemed to fill the room was the soft, almost imperceptible _shhhh_ of the legs of his chair sliding back against the carpet. He silently stood up as he whispered the words.

"I really hope you get to feeling better soon, Tasha."

She looked up and whispered a "thank you" in return as she watched him begin to turn and walk away. Before he walked through the doors he turned back around to face her. The tears that were spilling from her eyes caused his heart to ache. He wanted nothing more than to abandon all reason - to simply run to her and hold her. But he only spoke these words instead.

"If you need me- " He pointed to the communicator on her side table, "just call for me."

He stood there for just a moment and held her gaze; silently pleading with his eyes for her to remember something. _Anything_ about them together; or for that matter, he would be happy if she just remembered _him_. The rest he could probably deal with. He just wanted her to place something about him, about what he meant to her; and yet to his dismay there still was nothing. And with that he finally turned and walked through the swishing doors. Tasha watched him leave, too lost in her own grief and disappointed sense of betrayal to give conscious assent to her thoughts.


	9. Precious Moments

_**If Only**_

_**Chapter 9 ~ "Precious Moments"**_

_**Special thanks to Bookfan87 for re-editing this chapter. Wonderfully done!**_

_***** If you are enjoying the story please leave a review! Thanks. *****_

_**-x-x-x-**_

It had been a week since he had last seen her. He had went back the very next day to sickbay to check on her like he promised; but Dr. Crusher had already released her and allowed her to return to her quarters. That was last week and still no word from her. He really wanted to go and visit her after his shift ended earlier that afternoon; but instead chose to go to his quarters. He settled in to add the finishing touches to his report on Rutia Four when he heard his door chime.

"Come in," he said. He didn't even bother to look up, expecting his visitor to be Geordi or Will - anyone other than her. "Go ahead and sit down, I'll be done in just a second," he added.

"Take your time," she said.

Her voice startled him a little. He immediately stopped what he was doing and looked up from his work to see her sitting upon the sofa staring at him. He laid the PADD down and stood up as he walked over to her, indicating the seat beside her.

"May I?"

"Please," Tasha said.

He took his place beside her and they both seemed a little uncomfortable with the situation, so Day spoke first, hesitating only long enough to clear his throat.

"Um - I went to see how you were last week, and Beverly told me that she had released you." He ventured a look her way. "So, how are you adapting?"

She smiled a little as she looked down to her hands folded in her lap. Shrugging her shoulders she answered him, "Okay, I guess. I've been reading the computer files on myself, but there's really only so much a computer can tell you, you know?" She looked up to see him staring at her with an odd look in his eyes that she couldn't quite place. Ignoring it she continued on, "I was hoping you could - I mean, _might_ be willing to fill in some of the blanks?"

Day smiled and leaned back in the sofa.

"Sure, I'd be glad to." He crossed his arms and settled himself in. "Ask me whatever your heart desires."

She laid her head back onto the sofa and took a deep breath before asking the one question she really wanted to know - the question foremost on her mind since she'd finally accepted the current state of her relationship with Dare.

"What exactly is-" She paused a moment taking in another deep breath, bracing herself for his response: "What exactly is our relationship?" She braved a sideways glance at him as he answered her.

His heart rate sped up as his breath simultaneously caught in his chest for a split second. _This is it_, he thought. The situation Dr. Crusher warned him about. He had to be careful here unless he let his own desire to resume their relationship push Tasha to a concession she might not be quite ready to make on her own. Steadying his natural impulses in order to outwardly appear calm, cool and collected, he looked at her and smiled a little.

"Well, I am the Communications and Science Officer on board and you are Chief of Security," he replied somewhat evasively.

"And that's it?" She raised her head up and stared off into the distance as she struggled with her next words. "I - I feel as though there is -" she looked over at him as she gestured between the two. "-_More_," she added.

"What makes you say that?"

"You just seem...I don't know,_ familiar _to me," she stated truthfully.

"Well, we were in a relationship before."

She shook her head, acknowledging what he said before inquiring further.

"Are we -" she paused a moment, "_-still_ in a relationship?"

He just casually nodded his head up and down, confirming her suspicions.

Her eyes suddenly widened from her ensuing train of thought.

"Are we _married_?"

Day laughed a little at her obvious discomfort with the thought of marriage.

"No, we're not."

He smiled as she let out a deep sigh of relief that she wasn't even aware she was holding. She looked down at her hands still folded in her lap and then back up at him; still questioning.

"Well, then...Can you tell me more about us?"

He deliberately withheld Praxa and only revealed what had happened while on the _Enterprise_.

"Well, shortly after being assigned to the Enterprise, you became mentally and emotionally disoriented by a mutated form of a rare virus. I was sent to your quarters to escort you to sickbay, and you-" He paused a moment as he glanced sideways toward the woman sitting next to him, obviously uncomfortable with his next statement. "You _persuaded _me to stay, causing us to realize that there was more between us."

She quickly looked away, blushing from the truth of his words. She must have been _very_ attracted to this man to have seduced him! And the thought that he had seen her naked was a little unnerving, especially considering the fact that she was now here in his quarters where they could have possibly been intimate several times. She couldn't even remember a single encounter! She looked back at him as he pressed on.

"It took us a while but we finally gave in." He reflexively smiled from the memory of the past of which he was just speaking.

All she said was a simple "Oh" in return. Silence fell between them for a few moments until finally she spoke.

"You know, considering everything that has happened over the past week with everyone I have met - going over the Enterprise's Tactical with some Klingon...meeting the Captain and getting reacquainted with my quarters...There's only one thing on this ship that really seems to make sense to me."

"Yeah, what's that?" Day asked.

"You!" she said honestly.

A little embarrassed by the confession, she couldn't help but smile at the shock that was evident in Day's face as he turned to look at her once again. He desperately wanted to touch her and had to stop himself from doing so. And without fail, she once again gave him the hope that he was looking for so badly. Even if her mind didn't remember him, her heart in some way still did. He couldn't help but give her one of those genuine, full-blown smiles; and she was amazed at how attractive she found this man to be.

She was beginning to get comfortable with him as he told her more about her past; although he was still being careful not to reveal Praxa. If she were to regain her memory, he wanted some remnant, some unique experience that would assure her that she herself did in fact remember - that it was not some fanciful, made-up accounting of events imposed on her from without. He did tell her about him breaking things off with her recently; along with more about the accident on Rutia Four that brought them to this point.

With the easy camaraderie they were experiencing, one hour turned into four. Now they sat comfortably on the sofa still side by side but with a little distance between them, sharing a drink that Day had ordered from the replicator.

"So, Day, can you answer a question that I have just been _dying_ to know?" Tasha sheepishly inquired.

He looked over at her before taking a sip of his drink.

"Shoot."

She looked down, a little hesitantly nervous regarding the question she wanted to ask. She was unwilling to look him in the eye and chose instead to absently trace some indistinct figure into the cushion of his sofa as she spoke.

"What drew you to me?" Her eyes darted upwards toward his face and was met with a look of surprise. It brought a smile to her lips as she continued on, "I mean, what was it about me that made you realize I was what you wanted?"

He placed his drink on the table as he turned back to face her. The sincerity that was in his eyes seemed to captivate her own.

"Honestly?" he asked

She silently nodded her head affirmatively as he pressed on.

"Well, I saw you as a princess in need of rescuing."

He looked down at the cushion of the sofa between them and then shyly back to her. There was something in his gaze that spoke of affection, honesty and genuine admiration - effectively disarming the characteristic offense Tasha would normally have taken to anyone who dared even hint that she was incapable of taking care of herself. She respectfully remained silent waiting for him to speak further.

"Have you ever read those fairytales? You know, the ones where the princess is kept in a tower, guarded by a fire-breathing dragon and waits all her life to be rescued?" he added.

Inwardly she gasped, marveling at this man's intuitive perceptions! A strong feeling of déjà vu flooded her senses as she recalled long-forgotten memories of the old woman who had briefly taken care of her following the deaths of her parents - the dreams they had dreamt, and stories she'd shared of princes and castles and happy-ever-after. She may not have had much education, nor did Tasha often relate to these fanciful-sounding, obviously fictitious narratives. But having lived during a time when their homeworld was more economically and politically stable, Tasha had always admired and looked up to the oftentimes crotchety old lady as someone wise and experienced. Despite her own problems and struggles, she was perhaps the only person who had ever genuinely held any concern at all for her welfare during those early years of her life on Turkana; and that spoke volumes. Looking back, Tasha realized that the elderly woman somehow instinctively knew that if her young friend were to survive out of all the rubble and devastation comprising the tedium and horror of their daily existence, the one thing she needed more than anything else was _hope._ Hope for her future. Hope in the basic goodness of humanity in general. Hope that, contrary to her then-present circumstances, someone _somewhere_ unbeknownst to her was thinking of her, dreaming of her...looking out for her.

A hope that, interestingly enough, was being revived in her heart by the intriguing, enigmatic gentleman now sitting beside her. Again, she silently nodded her head up and down, giving Day the go-ahead to continue on.

"So I saw you as a princess in need of deliverance from a fire-breathing dragon. One who always seemed emotionally unavailable because she was hell bent on staying locked up in her tower away from all society."

She nodded a little in agreement with his description of her as he continued on.

"You would report to work and then go home to your quarters every night..." He was beginning to stare off at some unknown object on the far wall just past her, obviously overtaken by the memory. "You would never socialize with anyone. You always stayed to yourself, _alone_. And I would get so excited whenever you would just say hi to me in passing. I hung onto every word that was spoken between us because deep down I feared no one had ever made the effort to try to understand you." He paused a moment as he turned his attention back to her. "It was almost as if you didn't see yourself as worth the effort because of what you endured - that somehow, inexplicably, your past circumstances were your own fault." He shrugged his shoulders as he continued, smiling a little. "I believed otherwise and I became determined to prove it to you."

She just sat there staring back at him, amazed at how well this man had her pegged. Her voice cracked a little from the emotion that he had stirred up within her as she quietly asked, "And the dragon?"

His eyebrows raised up, a little hesitant to explain that analogous reference. She moved a little closer to him in anticipation of his answer as she curled her legs up on the cushion of the sofa. She motioned with her hands, silently encouraging him to answer her.

"Come on, Day - who was my dragon supposed to be?"

He turned sideways to face her just as she had him; placing his arm to rest upon the top of the sofa behind her. She didn't seem to mind the gesture and the sign of trust elated him. It let him know that she was comfortable with him and with their current situation; which in turn made him comfortable.

"Well, your dragon was your past on Turkana Four," Day said hesitantly.

She looked down from the memories that the mention of Turkana invoked as she mouthed a silent "_Oh_" to his confession.

Praying to God that he had not said anything wrong, he quickly continued on, trying to ignore the uneasiness the sudden turn of the conversation had brought about.

"You see, I figured since you had a disappointing beginning in life, that, well just maybe I could in some small way give you your happy ending. If you would have me, that is." He paused only for a moment. "I mean, I could see all the pain you went through as a child and I just wanted to take all that pain away and give you exactly what you asked of me the night you seduced me." He noticed her start and the slight lift of her eyebrows as she was obviously questioning what he was saying; so he went directly about answering the implied question in her eyes before she could give voice to it. "I already knew you were from Turkana, but I had no idea of what your childhood entailed. I was honored that you confided in me everything that you had endured. You asked me to give you happiness and love, and I desperately wanted to give you those things. I still do." He started a rolling motion with his hands as he began talking a little faster."I can't help how I feel. I know you don't remember me; but I am hoping to God that I can do something to trigger the memories that we have made together. Tasha, I will not give up until I've had the chance to give you the love that you have been denied for so long. I mean I know you had Dare, but I can love you better than he-"

Suddenly a memory from Rutia came flooding back in startling clarity to his mind. A moment in time seemed to rewind as she once again placed her fingers onto his lips and said, "Sssssshhhhhh." She looked at him, smiling. "You're babbling."

He was taken back by the action. He mumbled an apology, remaining perfectly still as she questioned him. He already missed the loss of her touch, only to be rewarded by her placing it on top of his hand lying on the back of the sofa. He was shocked by the soft caressing of her hand upon his and wondered silently if she was subconsciously remembering how she used to do that to him.

"So let me get this straight, Day... In other words, I'm your fair maiden?" She was motioning with her hands trying to find the right word. " That is, your princess, if you will?" she asked light-heartedly.

Now it was his turn to stun her as he solemnly answered her with a stoic blank look upon his face.

"No."

The smile that was upon her face was quickly replaced with that of confusion. Or maybe, something more. It almost looked as though his answer had hurt her in some way. He quickly fumbled to explain himself further.

"Well, in the fairy tales I have read, the Princess is _always_ second to the Queen, is she not?"

Once again, words seemed to evade her as she silently nodded up and down, agreeing with him.

He continued on, shrugging his shoulders as he laid his heart on the line once again. "If I had you - _you _would be second to no one."

She raised her eyebrows at that and responded, "Wow! You've got it bad, son!"

Again, she was teasing him. Any other time he might have viewed it as bad timing on her part; but considering the circumstances he welcomed the jest.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

Suddenly, she surprised him even more by leaning forward and placing a soft kiss to his cheek. He had never been so still in all his life, afraid that if he returned the gesture that she would leave, and all he wanted right then was to have her there with him. When she slowly backed away, she looked down and then back up at him again, a little embarrassed from the act she had just displayed. He instinctively moved his hand to the place where her lips had just been.

"That was..." He paused a moment to close his eyes as if reliving the gesture, "nice!"

She smiled at his honesty. She had to admit that this man was starting to grow on her. Not only was he sweet and honest, but attractive as well. And that was always a plus, she thought.

She decided to shock him yet again, as she placed her hand on top of his arm lying on the back of the sofa. "So tell me more about us...Did I take you back after you realized just how _wrong_ you were in dumping me?"

Day couldn't help but laugh at the unique way she posed her question, combined with her vocal emphasis. It was another sign that seemed to bring him hope, since she always got a delight out of proving him wrong whenever she could. He couldn't help but to continue smiling as he answered her.

"Fortunately for me, you did. But not without putting me in my place first."

Her eyes were triumphantly shining back at him, vicariously enjoying the idea of her victory over him even if she couldn't remember the details.

"Hmmm, sounds like me," she replied.

Suddenly her face became much more serious as she removed her hand from his and propped her head upon it. Slowly his smile began to fade a little as he was beginning to worry about what was on her mind; but when her eyes once again rose to meet his, he silently encouraged her to ask whatever she was thinking.

"Day, I need to ask you for a favor."

He in turn quickly answered her by saying a little too excitedly, "Anything!"

She couldn't help but to giggle at him. This man seemed to be merely content with being allowed in her presence. She kind of liked this attention coming from him. It gave her a sense of being in control. A charge that he seemed to willingly hand over to her, in order to make her more comfortable with him. She had to admit, she did trust this man and right now, she really didn't trust anyone. But there was something about him that seemed familiar to her. She found herself comfortable with the request she was about to make as she watched him reach for his drink to take another sip.

"Well, I was wondering if I could stay here with you for the night..."

He suddenly began coughing and choking on the beverage as it immediately went down the wrong way. The truth of it was, her words had shocked him. Of all the things she could have requested of him, that was the one he'd least expected. She began patting him on his back trying to help him as he placed his drink back onto the coffee table. With concern in her eyes she asked him if he was ok. He silently nodded his head confirming that he was fine. He held his hand up to her to indicate that it was now safe to stop patting him on the back as he finally was able to find his voice.

"Sorry, you caught me off guard a little bit." he started gesturing with his hands as he began speaking a little faster. "You know, I wasn't expecting that. I mean out of all the things that you could have asked me, that was pretty much last on my list. Especially concerning our, er, history." It was obvious that he was feeling more than a little nervous over her request. "I mean, are you sure you wanna do that? I don't want you feeling uncomfortable, I only want you to be..."

She slowly moved the arm that had been patting his back around his waist as she gently pulled him in for a tight squeeze. "Day, you're babbling again." She slowly began pulling her hand away as she let it slide from his shoulder across his back.

The gesture sent chills up his spine as she did so. He immediately ceased from talking as she lowered her hands back down to her side, foolishly making the mistake of looking into her eyes.

She continued to gaze back at him, captured by the blueness of his eyes. It was odd that she never noticed them until now.

"Sorry, I tend to do that sometimes," he whispered apologetically.

She shrugged her shoulders as if to indicate that there was no need for him to apologize. How many amnesiacs did this man have dropping by and asking to stay with him? Only one, she found herself fervently hoping as she continued staring into his eyes.

Day tried so hard to fight it, but the need was just too strong as he kept darting his eyes from her lips, then back to her eyes, as if silently asking for persmission to move forward. When the sudden feel of a familiar hand found its place on the side of his face, encouraging him, he would not deny her - the desire was too overpowering and undeniable. He had been desperately looking forward to their first kiss since the accident, and from the look in her eyes, she seemed to feel the same. Perhaps maybe Beverly was right. Maybe him spending time with her again could bring back those feelings buried deep within the subconscious realm of her mind.

The distance between them was slowly closing, as Tasha's eyes began to close with the anticipation of wanting to feel his lips upon hers. And being honest with herself, she had to confess that she had never wanted to kiss any other man as badly as she wanted to kiss him. She savored the feel of his hand as he slowly ran his fingers through her hair, gently pulling her to him. Their lips were mere inches apart when suddenly she jumped back with shock at a steady, high-frequency vibration coming from her midsection. She looked down and burst out in spontaneous, joyous laughter, as she saw Day's cat in her lap, gently kneading its paws against her while purring to be petted.

Embarrassed, Day just fell back onto the arm of the sofa, facepalming from disbelief at his cat's awkward sense of timing. Slowly and tentatively he peeked through his spread fingers, only to be met with the sight of Tasha lovingly petting his cat.

"I never figured you as a cat lover, Day." Tasha said increduously.

His only response was a "hmmm," still obviously distraught from the interruption.

"You know, when I was on Turkana I had a pet cat. She was really all I had before escaping..." Tasha's eyes shone with tears as her words trailed off from the memory she was openly reliving. '' She was killed by one of the leaders of the rape gangs after I pleaded with him not to..."

The pain was evident in her voice - and his heart went out to her. But unlike his aching need to keep _from_ holding her in sickbay, this was a much different picture. She was much more comfortable with him now. He was allowed to do what just came natural to him, which was to reach out and hold her. She willingly complied and welcomed the embrace. This man seemed to know just exactly what she needed, right when she needed it. To his dismay, the cat didn't jump down but instead decided to make itself comfortable enough to sprawl out and take a nap in her lap. He didn't have the heart to "shoo" her away because Tasha seemed to be somewhat comforted by her presence and was obviously enjoying her company. So instead he took the opportunity to whisper the answer to her question from earlier on into her ear as she snuggled herself more into his neck.

"The answer is yes."

She looked a little confused at first and then realized to what he was agreeing. She tightened her embrace around him a little and then quietly whispered a shy "thank you." He was amazed at how long she actually allowed him to hold her and found that he missed the embrace when she moved away to continue her ministrations to Spot.

His voice brought her attention back to him as he absently watched the cat that was purring in her lap. Suddenly Tasha felt the need to explain just why she wanted to stay here with him. Although she instinctively felt comfortable around him and he was the only one who seemed familiar to her, there was more to the story.

"When I was in my quarters I had some people come and visit me..." Day raised his eyebrows at her, silently inquiring as to who. "A man who said his name was Rick- no, wait, it was Rich, I think." She shrugged her shoulders a little. "I couldn't remember him, he just didn't seem familiar to me and I was very uncomfortable around him. Maybe because of that fact."

"Did he say anything to you?" Day asked.

She shook her head from side to side and then spoke.

"No, he only said that he was sorry for what happened and that he wished me well." Day just sat there listening to her. "I felt as though there was more on his part; but despite the fact that I couldn't place him I somehow knew that he wasn't my type." She paused a moment and then continued, "Then this dark-haired lady came to see me and started to talk about my '_feelings_' on everything!" Tasha made a look of disgust at the word _feelings_ as she said it. "She seemed nice and understanding, like she sensed that I was uncomfortable." Tasha began snapping her fingers as she rolled her eyes. "This amnesia is so frustrating! I can't recall _her_ name, either..."

Day interrupted her and interjected, "Deanna!"

"That's it! Deanna... How did you know?"

Day grimaced and said, "You mentioned _feeling_s. I just made the connection."

She smiled from his obvious dislike of the word as well. She began motioning with her hand that she was getting to the point now.

"Well, to be honest I don't like people that I don't know coming to see me and offering their apologies to me, because it only makes me feel guilty for not being able to even recall who they are." She looked at him shyly. "But you're different, I feel as though I know you. I feel _safe_ with you. That's why I was hoping that I could stay here to kind of shelter me from those I don't know, until I start remembering again."

He leaned forward and kissed her on top of her head as he rose off the couch, picking up their glasses and setting hers on the replicator as he still held his. Her eyes intently followed his every movement, the feeling of anticipation in the air between them almost palpable. He stood there a moment with his back facing her when finally he turned to meet her gaze.

"You can have the bed and I'll take the couch."

The look of disappointment upon her face seemed to mirror his. But particularly in situations such as these, when a lover with whom you have spent every waking moment no longer remembers you, deep down he knew it was just the right thing to do. The proper thing to do. Despite the indescribably appealing prospect of having her body laying beside him all night long.

She smiled a little at his chivarly and decided to make a little joke to break the tension.

"Are you afraid that I'll take advantage of you again, Day?"

He took the last sip of his drink and set it in the replicator beside hers before responding.

"No. I'm afraid I will you."

With that he walked into his room to change out of his uniform, his words still resonating in her ears.


	10. Sleepless Nights

_**If Only: Chapter 10**_

_**"Sleepless Nights"**_

_**-x-x-x-**_

It had been three hours since she had went to bed and still sleep evaded her. No doubt Day was asleep by now on the sofa. Oddly enough, she missed his presence around her even though they were technically inside the same quarters.

She smiled back to the thought of walking into his bedroom only to see a pair of what could have only been her pajamas lying on the bed. He did say earlier that she more often tended to stay with him in his quarters, than sleeping in her own. The fact that she felt the need to keep clothes here only further proved his statement.

She had also noticed the holopictures of them together on his nightstand. They seemed to be a very happy couple but most of all - _she_ seemed happy. Apparently the love that this man had professed to want to shower her with, well, he seemed successful in doing so. He seemed to be the real deal. What you saw, was what you got when it came to Day. She could actually see why she had fallen in love with him. It only made her want to try that much harder to remember him. He seemed to have a profound effect on her. She sensed that he was someone that she could always rely on and trust.

He wasn't bad to look at either. Ironically he looked a lot like Dare, except in her opinion Day was much more handsome. It was the eyes that did it for her - most definitely the eyes.

She wondered if he was having as much trouble sleeping as she was. There was no point in her lying here all night. She was tempted to go in there and see if he was still awake. She lay there for a moment contemplating her actions and decided to give in to the impulse. _Who knows_, she reasoned with herself, maybe they could talk some more if he was.

Day ventured a look back toward his bedroom as the doors slid open. He could hear her feet padding along through the carpet as she made her way over towards him. He rolled over onto his back so that he could get a better view; and within moments there she was, standing before him. She was in her pajamas with her hair in disarray from the sleepless night she was obviously having. And yet, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He just continued to stare at her as she sheepishly looked back, shrugging her shoulders in return as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms trying to keep warm.

"I can't sleep!" she explained.

It was a simple explanation. She didn't say _why _she couldn't sleep. She intentionally left out the fact that the man before her was invading her every thought - pushing out any hopes of obtaining some type of rest. Day immediately sat up as he patted the seat next to him on the sofa.

"Me neither," he replied.

She took the seat beside him and he pulled the blanket off of him and covered her with it. She grabbed hold of the blanket and brought it up over her chest as she tried to get her body warm. She smiled at the gesture.

"Thank you!"

He returned her smile and only nodded his head in return as he kept his gaze fixed on her. If this man hadn't revealed his feelings to her earlier on (and she had no knowledge of their past together), based on the look in his eyes alone she would have still gathered how he felt about her. It was that obvious when he looked at her. In a way it made her uncomfortable from the intensity of it; but at the same time, it made her only trust him more. If she had learned anything within the past week of this ordeal, it was that she was _safe_ with this man - that he would do anything to ensure her safety while on his watch.

His voice interrupted her thoughts, the words so quiet that she had to strain her ears to hear him.

"You're welcome!"

He took his eyes off of her; and to her surprised dismay she found that she missed the way he was staring at her. He leaned his head back to rest on top of the sofa, his hands running up through his hair and then sliding back down to cover his face. She watched as he did so, taking in his every feature. She found that her Starfleet training as a Security officer was kicking in. She was no doubt analyzing him. Not in a bad way** -** she was more or less trying to "learn" him all over again. She wanted to know what made him tick and what calmed him down.

More specifically she wanted to know if he had ever had this much passion for any other woman rather than her. Deep down she hoped the answer was no. For some reason she selfishly wanted to be the only one who could claim that achievement over him. She wanted to know his history - she was well aware of who his parents were, but she wanted to know beyond that. He appeared to be so many things. She wanted to know them all. She wanted to know him. She wanted - _him! _

The realization shocked her, and considering the loss of Dare in her life, she wondered just exactly how she would react if she were to cross paths with him ever again. How was it possible to have feelings for two men? - one from the past and one who was her future - _her_ here and now. She had always secretly known that her attraction to Dare was no doubt in the beginning hero worship. It was only logical, considering he was the first man who had ever been nice to her. He had also aided in bringing her off of Turkana IV, being the Chief of Security on board the ship that rescued her. He saw to it that she received the proper education that was required to enter into Starfleet, which was where she wanted to be. Frequently coming back to visit her, one night his visit became much more.

She knew their history. But she wanted to know _this_ man's history with her. He revealed only bits and pieces earlier. _The seduction._ She also knew it took them a long while to give into their feelings as well. But what made them do so?

She decided that instead of speculating all night long, it was time to ask more questions.

"Day?"

Removing his hands from his face, he raised his head up; wincing a little as he did so. "Hmmm?" he asked.

"I want to know more about you." She looked down at the cushion between them and then sheepishly back up to him. "More about _us_." She pulled her legs under her as she turned to face him, readjusting the position of the cover around her as she did so.

It was a habit that Day noticed immediately. Subconsciously she still returned to this trait of preparing herself for the unknown; as if the blanket were some sort of shield that could protect her from what lie in wait within the dark recesses of her amnesia-clouded mind.

He cocked his head to the side, almost in a manner similar to that of Dr. Soong's androids, had their existence not been so short-lived.

"What exactly do you want to know?"

The proverbial ball having been tossed back into her own court, Tasha retreated into less risky territory. "Tell me about your childhood." She started motioning with her hand, her obvious excitement showing in the gesture. "I mean, you must have had it made, being the son of two of the most renowned cyberneticists in all the universe!" She paused a moment before continuing, "I mean, everyone has heard of the amazing Doctor Noonian Soong and all of his accomplishments!"

"And his failures!" Day added.

She knew exactly to which failures he was referring. His father endured considerable public humiliation after successfully constructing an android only to see it go into cascade failure just a few short months later. The android was to be his greatest achievement - the very epitome of his dream come to life. It was a real life version of one of Earth's oldest horror stories - Dr. Frankenstein and his creation. It appeared to be a touchy topic for him, but still she pressed on; her curiousity as a security officer getting the better of her.

"What was his name?"

Day looked over at her and answered a little stoically, "B4." He paused a moment and then added**,** "My father's humor with his children's names never ceases to amaze."

She was shocked at the android being referred to as one of Dr. Soong's children. She called him on it.

"You called him a child!...Was he?"

Day just shook his head and waited a moment before continuing.

"No, he wasn't created as a child. My father could never quite master the growth rate that his mechanical body could have endured and accepted; so he was created as an adult." Day's eyes widened with the realization that had just hit him. "He looked - He looked a lot like I do now!"

Tasha found this newest revelation to be so intriguing that she momentarily forgot Day had dodged the main implication of her earlier question. It wasn't every day that she'd gotten herself involved with a guy who had an android brother!

"Did you get along with him?"

Day shrugged his shoulders before answering her.

"Yeah. He was always trying to learn more but had a hard time grasping the most simplest concepts," Day chuckled a little from the memory. "He was always intensely curious about _everything_ - so much so that people tended to run out of both time and patience, fielding all his questions!"

Tasha smiled back in return but didn't question him any more. Instead she just listened as he now appeared to be more comfortable with the topic.

"He used to run around butt-naked all the time..." Tasha burst out laughing as Day continued, "He didn't understand the concept of clothing, so he would just go without." He chuckled a little. "Things were always amusing when B4 was active. I remember many times coming down the stairs to be greeted with the sight of B4 running down the hallway naked - my father following closely behind, waving his clothes in the air!"

A moment passed as Tasha slowly began to stop laughing, wiping the tears from her eyes. She looked over to see Day smiling at her.

"It sounds as though you really loved him."

Again, he cocked his head to the side as if amazed at the observation.

"I did, he was my brother," he answered her truthfully as he began pointing his finger at her to add, "Now, our older brother Lore, on the other hand despised him!" Tasha raised her eyes at that. She was unaware that he had another brother. Day continued on, "He was very jealous of him - jealous of the attention he got from our father. After my mother and father taught B4 that wearing clothes was essential and necessary, Lore would hide them from him out of spite."

Tasha was still smiling from the memories he was revealing to her.

"Did you get along with Lore?" she inquired.

Day's smile immediately faded and the look that overcame his eyes was that of trepidation - almost as if he didn't want to touch the subject of this second brother. Despite that, she was amazed that he still chose to share it with her.

"Lore is a wild card..." He paused a moment. "As time went by he became full of so much rage and jealousy over being second to our father's work. He hated everything that our father did and he took special satisfaction in his failures, nicknaming him '_Often Wrong Soong_' in hopes of hurting him like he had hurt us."

Tasha spoke up. "He sounds like a creep!"

Day shrugged his shoulders as he looked her dead in the eyes.

"I suppose he wants the one thing that everybody else wants..." He paused a moment, never taking his eyes from hers as he finished, "Just to be loved."

The honesty of his words hit home. It was true, everyone wanted to be loved in some way. Despite believing herself unworthy due to her past on Turkana, deep down she too wanted nothing more than to be loved. And she was by this man, that much was obvious. The question was, could she love him again? She believed that she could.

He was still holding her eyes intently. She finally broke the gaze by venturing a look at the cushion between them before asking, "I saw the holograph on your nightstand." She pointed back in the direction of his bedroom as she continued on. "We appeared to have found that in each other."

"We did," Day answered her, then added, "Although I must admit it took me awhile to get on board."

Confusion filled Tasha's face from his cryptic reply. Noticing her puzzlement, Day explained a little further.

"I tend to push women away who want _more_..." He paused a moment. "A trait I had no doubt inherited from my father; but unlike him I realized something that he never did with my mother."

"What's that?" Tasha asked curiously.

"'Nothing ventured, nothing gained,'" he quoted, smiling back at her. "I realized that I didn't want to push you away anymore." He stopped a moment and looked away as if trying to find the right words to say to explain himself. Finally he turned back to her, and she thought that she could see a hint of tears in his eyes. He quickly got control of himself, but the cracking of his voice confirmed her suspicions. "I, um - I wanted so badly to be what you wanted me to be that I paid no mind to what you _needed_ me to be." He chuckled a little, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he continued, "It's a little ironic now looking back. All this time I saw you as the one in need of rescue - when in fact, it was _you_ who rescued _me_ from a fate worse than death."

Tasha held his eyes as she questioned him once again.

"And that would be?"

Day shrugged his shoulders as he whispered the word.

"Myself!"

Tasha shyly smiled back at him as she moved in closer repeating the kiss upon his cheek for a second time that night. And still he refused to move, he didn't want to do anything that would cause her to stop what she was doing. As her lips left his cheek, she moved to his ear to whisper, "I believe we saved each other from a fate worse than death."

He knew exactly what she meant. He had saved her from herself just as she had him. They were two kindred spirits who had found their place of belonging in each other. He missed the feel of her voice whispering into his ear as she backed away but not fully. She still lingered a few inches from his face, staring into his eyes. His heart began beating even faster from the intensity in her eyes that was directed at him. He desperately wanted to kiss her, to hold her. But he refused to do so. No matter how tempting the situation may be, she was still unsure of who he was to her. And he desperately wanted her to fall back in love with him for a second time. The mistakes he had made in the past were suddenly clearly visible to him; and he wanted nothing more than to correct them. He reached his hand up to cup the side of her face and he felt her slightly jump from the gesture. She sheepishly smiled back as she did so and he returned the smile.

"There's a concert being performed in Ten Forward tomorrow night. I believe the piece that they are performing is Beethoven's _Ode to Joy_. Would you like to attend with me?"

The light in her eyes shone even brighter from his offer. She seemed a little amused by the request.

"Are you asking me out on a date, Day?" she inquired a little bemused.

He nodded his head in return as she covered his hand that was cupping her face with hers.

"In that case, I accept."

Now it was his turn to lean in as she closed her eyes and slightly tilted her head up to meet his lips - only to succumb to shock when the kiss never came. Instead he kissed her on the cheek and she blushed a little from her folly. Day just smiled back in return as he spoke softly.

"I think you should go back to bed now."

Her heart sank at his request - and her eyes refused to hide it. Her disappointment did not go unnoticed on his part. So he continued further to explain, still cupping the side of her face as he gently began stroking it with his thumb.

"You have no idea," he took a deep breath and let it out, "how hard this is for me." And he reached up to kiss her on top of her forehead as he continued. "I want nothing more than to take you into that bedroom and make love to you in a way you could never forget-" His eyes pinned her as he finished, "_But - _I won't_. _You deserve more than that. _You _are _worth_ much more than that."

She nodded in only partial understanding as she leaned in and placed her arms around him. He returned the spontaneous gesture, holding her to him gently but firmly. He leaned back against the couch, taking her with him as she rested her head on his chest. She closed her eyes for a few moments only to feel his lips press against the top of her hair, as he lightly kissed her again before whispering, "Good night, Tasha."

She untangled herself from the embrace as he slowly let his arms fall away from her; both of them already missing the touch. She pressed her hand onto his chest and smiled at the "hmmph" noise that escaped him as she pushed herself up. Suddenly she had a flashback from being on some foreign planet by rushing waters repeating the same action on Day's chest; and him making the same exact noise as she did so. It was vague, but it was a memory.

Day raised up as he noticed something was wrong, placing his hand onto her arm as he questioned her.

"You okay?"

She briskly nodded her head, barely containing the excitement that began to fill her.

"I just remembered doing that before!"

Day raised his eyebrows up and smiled a full grin as she continued, "We were beside a river of some sort, and we were soaking wet," she paused as if trying to relive the memory. "And I placed my hand onto your chest to stand up and you made that same noise." She leaped forward to hug him with excitement laced within her voice. "I remembered that!"

Day tightened his embrace as he confirmed the memory.

"We were on Rutia Four when that happened; so your recollection is correct," he assured her.

Slowly she backed out of the embrace as she looked up at him once again. She reached up and pushed a lock of hair back behind his ear, running her fingers through the rest of the way - enjoying the feel of his hair through her fingers. It was soft and he was obviously enjoying the gesture, when suddenly he reached up to pull her arm back down as he grabbed hold of her hand. He stood to his feet, still holding her hand as he nodded toward his bedroom. She got up and followed him as he walked her inside - her heart beating so fast the whole way that she thought it was going to jump out of her chest. She knew that if this man had the intentions of making love to her, that she would not be able to deny him. And deep down, she was anticipating it all. The feel of his lips on hers. His hands doing things to her body that no man has ever done. And the feel of him inside her, making her cry out from the sheer pleasure that he was evoking within her. If this is how he responded to one memory surfacing, then she would most definitely be informing him of any and all that came forth!

She watched him as he stopped in front of the bed beside her pillow, bringing her in between himself and the bed - the covers already thrown back from her doing so earlier on. Her heart was racing from the anticipation as he placed his hands on both of her arms, slightly rubbing up and down. His eyes captured hers with the desire that was spilling forth from them. He slowly pushed her back as she responded and sat down on the bed, still leaning over her as he held onto her arms; his face just mere inches from hers. She watched him as he slowly leaned down to whisper something into her ear; she straining to hear over her loud racing heart from the thought of what was to come.

"You deserve so much more - G'night Tasha!"

The sudden recollection of his earlier resolve finally winning the inner battle (at least for the moment), immediately his hands released hers as he turned around and walked back into his living quarters, leaving her there. She fell back onto the bed as she grabbed a pillow and placed it over her head, letting out a muffled, mock scream of frustration. She held it there for a moment and then moved it back to the side. She reached for the blankets and covered herself up as she snuggled into the same pillow. She began to smile to herself - not from her achieving one watershed memory, but from the thought of that wonderful, mystifying, incredibly attractive and utterly infuriating man sleeping just outside her doors! She slowly closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

While lying in bed, Tasha awoke to the sound of groaning from the other room, as if someone were in pain. She noticed that before they parted earlier that evening Day had kept rubbing his right temple. Now, based on the variety of sounds - thuds, moans, squeaks and groans - coming from the main outer area of the senior officer's quarters, it seemed he was doing nothing more than tossing and turning over, muttering and keeping her awake. Finally after what seemed to be the tenth time of him stirring about, refluffing the pillows and shaking out his blanket, she got up for the second time that night and padded back out of the room towards the sofa.

"What are you doing?"

All she heard through the dark was a "hmmm" coming from him. She repeated her inquiry, this time a bit louder.

"I said what are you _doing_? You keep turning over every which way... Are you alright?"

She could barely make out him pulling his hand away from the side of his head to rest by his side.

"I can't sleep." he admitted

"Is it because you are uncomfortable with me staying over?"

He quickly turned to face her, propping up on his arm as he assured her.

"No, not at all. As tempting as the situation is, I am more than content with just lying here knowing that you are close by, safe in the other room," he answered honestly.

She smiled a little. She was getting to know this man all over again. And she can see why she fell in love with him. Although charming, he was also selfless and appeared to love her very much. The more time she spent with him, she was beginning to see that he was someone who she could rely on. She watched him intently, as she could barely make him out through the darkness as he slowly began lowering himself to lie down once again.

"So what's the matter, then?"

"Honestly?" he asked as she nodded her head in return. "I have one hell of a headache."

She moved in closer to him to take a look.

"Let me see..." he reached up to grab hold of her hand, stopping her before she could even examine him. "Relax, Day, I was just going to massage it." He gently released her hand allowing her to continue. "Let me show you something I learned in the academy." She placed one hand on the side of his face. "Now show me where it hurts."

If he were really in the mood to be mischievous he would be guiding her hand elsewhere instead of to his right temple! But considering her state and his hellacious headache at the time, that seemed to be out of the question, at least for the moment (he was having enough trouble reigning in his baser impulses for the present without making any future heroic claims to self-deprivation, he decided!). So instead he gently placed his hand over hers and guided it to the direct spot.

"There!" he exclaimed, wincing from the slight pressure he applied while showing her the exact location of the pain.

Gently she started massaging the area, in hopes of alleviating some of his discomfort.

"Day, do you get these often?"

He snorted a laugh as he answered her.

"No, not normally." He paused a moment as the thought hit him. "You know, I figure it's from my brain being so overactive due to my IQ. You see, there's not enough room in my cranial cavity to contain all my creative thoughts." He feigned a sigh of exasperation as if his IQ were such a burden to him.

Even with his eyes closed he could sense her shaking her head in disbelief at his comment. To his surprise he was granted with a small chuckle as she joked back with him.

"Or it could be from the strain of balancing the excessive weight of that big head on your shoulders!" she said a little too emphatically.

All she heard him mutter in return was a solemn, "shut up." She couldn't help smiling to herself at this man. He was very comfortable to be around, oddly enough, despite the fact that she did not remember him. If any feeling remained with her that associated itself with him, it would be that she felt _safe_ with him - almost in a familiar way. Unlike with Dare, she felt as though she _belonged_ with this man - that her search was over. All the misinterpretations of her versions of love had been proved wrong, when she was loved by Dare. But it apparently was a failed relationship and hopefully a lesson learned on her part. It seemed as though she missed her mark by associating him as the love of her life, as this man beside her seemed to claim that title.

Suddenly the voice of the gentleman in question interrupted her thoughts. "Seriously, I think it's from getting the crap beaten out of me by those two guys on Rutia."

She continued rubbing his temples as she spoke more in a commanding manner.

"Well, you're going to Dr. Crusher tomorrow morning before reporting for duty." She felt Day turn his head to face her, amazed by her strong, authoritive tone as well as the demand. "You need to get this looked at. She must've missed something."

"Yes ma'am, Lieutenant!" he gave her a mock salute.

"Is that better?" She asked in hopes that the massage alleviated some of his pain.

"Much!"

Tasha removed her hand from his temple and began to rise up from the uncomfortable position of being hunched over. She placed her hands on her hips as she maneuvered her body from side to side trying to relieve the tension the former position had placed on her back.

She reflexively smiled when she felt his hand cover hers, slowly removing it from her hip to join it with his. The soft caressing of his thumb on the back of her hand mimicked what hers had just been doing to his temple. The gesture was soothing and mesmerizing in its touch, not to mention the gaze from his eyes that accompanied it.

The intensity of his stare caused her to question the reasoning behind it.

"What?"

His eyes never faltered, never changed their depth but remained completely fixated on her.

"Has anyone ever told you that your beauty goes far beyond just the physical realm?"

She slightly cocked her head to the side, beckoning him silently to explain further.

"You're like a Prividian Rose." He sat up a little, still rubbing the back of her hand. "This flower is very rare, in fact what makes it so unusual is it simply refuses to blossom. Very few have seen its beauty."

Tasha rolled her eyes in disbelief. "Day, I'm afraid there's nothing beautiful about a flower that never blooms!"

"Well, there is a trick to it. You see, this flower has to be loved and cherished. If the person seeking its grace earns the trust of the flower. Then slowly, this flower will begin to open up little by little revealing the soft fragrant iridescence that was hidden inside."

Tasha continued to stand in front of him, silent at the comparison. But more than that, she was amazed yet again at how this man knew exactly what to say.

"You, Tasha, are much like this rose..."

Still holding her hand, he stood to his feet. Boldly he closed the distance between them; his hand reaching up to lightly brush a lock of hair from her face.

"You, like this rose remain closed off to the world, forbidding them to see what is hidden beneath. But if you're treated properly -_ carefully_ - if a man is fortunate enough to earn your trust - then you blossom and the beauty that is hidden inside far exceeds the beauty on the outside."

"Are you saying that I'm not that much to look at on the outside, Day?" Tasha chuckled a little to herself.

"No! I'm saying that you are a very beautiful woman - inside and out."

Finally, the kiss she had been preparing herself for all night had come. It wasn't passionate and full of desire. It was more of a confirmation to his belief in just how beautiful she was to him. It was a chaste kiss but sensual all in its own. She wanted more, they both wanted more. But she also knew that he was too much of a gentleman to take advantage of her, especially now. So instead, he slowly released her hand giving her a shy smile as he did so.

"Goodnight, Tasha - again!"

" 'Night, Day!"

When Tasha returned to her bed for the final time that evening, her dreams were pleasant ones, even though she didn't remember them.

_**-x-x-x-**_

_**Sorry it took me so long to update. I promise more will be coming, I've just been really busy lately. I hope you guys enjoy it and if so, please leave a review! Always good to have a little encouragement to keep the story going. Thanks! :)**_


	11. Burning Bridges

_**If Only**_

_**Chapter 11 ~ "Burning Bridges"**_

_**-x-x-x-**_

The doors swooshed open to reveal Day walking in from his shift. His pace slowed immensely at the sight before him. There she was in all her beauty standing beside a candlelit dinner that she had obviously prepared in his absence. The lights were dimmed only to enhance the two candles that sat strategically on the table. She was wearing a white chiffon dress that accented her body in all the right ways. Her arms were folded behind her back as she returned his gaze with a small smile upon her face. She shrugged her shoulders.

"I thought we could have our first date here tonight," she hesitated, adding somewhat uncertainly, "if that's okay?"

Finally, he was able to find his voice as he motioned with his hand toward her. "I'm sorry - you..." He faltered a little with his words and he noticed how she quickly lowered her head, obviously taking his words the wrong way as he apologized.

"I'm sorry, I thought you wouldn't mind if-" Day interrupted her by holding a hand up as he attempted once again to find his voice. The effect that she was having on him spilled over into his words.

"You look - _beautiful_!" he conceded.

The smile that she gave him lit up her whole face. The dress made a _swoosh_ noise as she started moving her hips from side with her hands still folded behind her back.

"So you like it?" she asked him.

He nodded silently still taking in the sight.

"I do!"

She pointed back to his bedroom. "I found it in the closet. I thought it fit the occasion."

He began looking her up and down as he took in the full effect of her appearance. "Mmm, it does."

Tasha blushed at his response, immediately looking down to the floor. She heard him clear his throat and ventured a look back up in his direction, only to see him walking toward her. He stopped in front of her chair and pulled it out, motioning for her to sit down. She just sat there silently questioning him.

"I wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I didn't pull your seat out for you, now would I?"

Tasha still stared at him in amazement. She knew very well that in this day and age, no man hardly ever displayed such chivalry. Day was still waiting for her to sit down as Day offered once again. "Please!" She slowly walked past him to take her seat.

Day walked over to the other side of the table and took his seat across from her. He was amazed at how well she had prepared everything. The candles were lit. The food already replicated. The wine already poured. Tasha had thought of everything. He looked over to her at the sound of her voice.

"I went through the replicator hoping to find something that you liked. And I found this recipe entered in by your mother. I figured if she went through all the trouble of downloading it into the replicator then it must've been one of your favorites."

He smirked a little as he answered, "You guessed right, it's an old Italian recipe from Earth." He reached for his fork as he continued. "They call it 'spaghetti'. You loved it." He motioned with his fork as he added. "Taste it, you'll see."

She reached for her fork and started turning it in a circular motion; wrapping the noodles around it. Day watched her reaction as she placed the food into her mouth. He was mesmerized by the fact, that subconsciously she still knew how to eat the spaghetti.

"Mmm-hmm! It is good - I like it!" she said, placing her fork back into the noodles for another bite.

Day just smiled in return as he began eating as well.

Silence settled in for a few moments between them as they ate. It was Tasha who spoke up first.

"So, what's going on with the _Enterprise_?" She paused for a moment. "I mean, why are we still orbiting this planet?"

Day looked up at her as he placed his fork into his plate and sat back in his chair.

"Well, we are in the middle of holding negotiations between two warring factions right now."

He pointed out the bay window of his quarters to the planet outside. "That is Rutia Four."

Tasha eyes widened with surprise. Dr. Crusher informed her that Rutia is where she got hurt**.** She had no idea that the Enterprise was still orbiting the planet.

"Who is conducting the negotiations?" she inquired.

Her question caught him off guard as he was in mid-swallow of his wine. He quickly held his hand up, gently smiling as he finished swallowing the liquid.

"I thought Dr. Crusher placed you on medical leave."

Tasha looked a little confused as she answered him. "She did!"

Day placed his glass back onto the table and leaned forward slightly.

"Then enjoy it! I want you to focus on getting better - not be worrying about the Enterprise."

Tasha's brow furrowed as her jaw simultaneously tightened. "Day, as Chief of Security it is my _job_ to worry about this ship!Why does everybody insist on treating me like an_ invalid_ around here?" Tasha exhaled in mild exasperation.

Day held up a hand in defense. "I know, I just want you - to get better. That's all!"

He leaned back taking his napkin with him as wiped the sides of his mouth. He suddenly noticed Tasha smirking and heard her chuckle a little as she said**, **"You know, some of your ways remind me of Dare..."

Day's eyes widened and his heart sank from the words she had just spoken. An uncomfortable silence fell between the two. Tasha knew immediately that she had said the wrong thing - mentioned the wrong person... Why was she thinking about Dare now, anyway? She thought what she and Dare had was over with; but somehow he kept popping back into her conscious mind when she least expected it.

Day tossed his napkin on top of his plate, refusing to look at her. "Um, I have to go." He motioned toward the exit of his quarters before adding, "Geordi is actually waiting on me in engineering." He pushed his chair back and began to stand up as Tasha did so as well. Still, his words failed him. "Uh - he wants me to help him with some diagnostic readings on the warp core."

She couldn't help but notice how he absolutely refused to meet her eyes. All she wanted to do was make things right before he left.

"Day, please - I didn't mean.." she pleaded with him as he held up a hand to interrupt her.

"Tasha, it's fine. Really." He made it to the doors before turning around to finally face her. The sight broke his heart as she was silently pleading with her eyes for him to stay. "Thank you for dinner, it was really good and you look so - " He motioned his hand toward the dress she had on before finishing, "-Lovely." And with that said, he turned to leave.

She hastily moved forward in a final plea to stop him from doing so.

"Day!" she called out. "What about the concert tonight?"

He halted his steps but remained with his back to her. "It's been re-scheduled for a week from today."

Tasha watched hopelessly as he left, his demeanor refusing to display any promises of taking her to the concert. She had a growing suspicion that he would not be returning any time soon to resolve the issue based on her comment of Dare. He just left her there - waiting!

Tasha knew she should probably return to her quarters and give him some space. But the comical truth was, she couldn't remember exactly where her quarters were! Sure, she could ask the computer for the proper directions, but the required code to enter eluded her memory. For all intents and purposes, she was stuck here whether she (or Day) liked it or not. Of course, she was perfectly content with remaining where she was. She felt comfortable here, her surroundings familiar and somewhat peaceful compared to the chaos taking place inside her mind. A completely different feel from the atmosphere of her own isolated, spartan quarters the week she had spent there alone. It was a conclusion further verified through Day's claims of her spending more time in his quarters than her own.

And then another thought hit Tasha as the guilt of her remark came into question. Why did she even bring Dare up _at all_? Everything was moving along so well between her and Day. He was opening up to her. His honesty at times even touched her. The time that they had shared together the previous evening was special. Although she was deprived of sleep half the night, the deprivation was well worth it. She gained so much more just in those few hours of insomnia. She learned more about the man behind the commanding officer who had appeared to her a week ago in sickbay. And just in those few hours she had realized that he was more of a man that Dare could ever be. The comparison was prematurely made on her part. As she thought her impulsive comment through further, she realized that she could not had been more wrong in her assumption.

Despite her thrilling, exciting memories of her past fiancé, if she were honest with herself she had to admit not all of them were of a happy union. He was gone most of the time, pursuing dreams of advancement in his Starfleet career. Although if the truth were to be known, she was just as guilty of the same obsession at the time. Her priorities were all geared toward graduating from the Academy and one day becoming Chief of Security aboard a Galaxy class starship.

If Day was correct in what he had told her about Dare presuming Tasha's involvement in the conspiracy that attempted to frame him - then that only meant that somewhere during their time of separation his trust in her had faltered. How could he so easily accuse her of such a betrayal, especially after what all they had been through together? That in itself was an insult to the girl who had escaped Turkana IV to become the woman she was today - a chief security officer standing for the principles of truth and justice, often against incredible odds. She prided herself on her loyalty and yet despite all she had endured in life - the rape gangs; her rescue along with her bouts of unworthiness - _this_ was the one attribute about herself that she held dear. She didn't learn this, it was engrained within her. It was at the very core of who she was!

And yet Dare unjustly blamed her of a wrongdoing of which she was simply incapable. Somewhere along the line, this man - her fiancé, her lover - had lost his way, only widening the gap that separated them even more. His belief in her as a person was obviously not what it should have been; because if he had truly loved her as he had claimed, his judgment would have not been so easily swayed. He woudn't have turned his back on her. He wouldn't have abandoned her to the rumors that she was now privy to not remembering, although she was not ignorant of their existence. He bailed out when things got tough, and instead of helping her clear his name, he jumped ship!

And yet the man to whom she had just ignorantly compared Dare was blatantly insistant upon re-entering her life - a little too bold in his hopes that she will remember him soon. But she knew that his confidence wasn't misguided: he was just simply professing his beliefs in her abilities.

Day, contrary to Dare in more ways than one, was the gentleman to Dare's rogue ways. He unselfishly threw caution to the wind as far as she was concerned; carelessly heedless of all the warning signs that her loss of memory were giving out. There was a small glimmer of hope in his eyes, an expectation that she would see him for who he really was. Some may call him a fool for gambling so dangerously with his heart but she couldn't help but to see it for what it really was! Day was a man who loved her with reckless abandonment and would do anything to prove it - even break through the confines of her amnesia if need be. He was as trustworthy as they came! Tasha knew that despite all the odds stacked against them that this man was still willing to venture through the raging fires, undeterred by the obstacles in front of them. His presence was a welcomed aid in times of uncertainty. He was dependable, as loyal as she. She would be an idiot to pass up the opportunity to rediscover him all over again.

She had played the fool many times, passively throwing away all chances of love that came her way. But she was intelligent enough to recognize a good, honest caring man when she saw one. So she would remain where she was, at least for the time being, because it was where she felt the safest. And when he returned, she would explain her mishap in full detail and apologize for the blind assessment.

In retrospect, Day was the complete opposite of her former lover. He was not the renegade that Dare had turned out to be, but instead the loyalist. Her instincts could not had been further from the truth. It was a misconception that she planned on rectifying before the day was through. All she had left to do now was simply wait for his return.

_**-x-x-x-x-x-**_

It was late and Day was still sitting in Engineering going over the diagnostics to make sure that they had covered everything. He looked up as he heard Geordi's voice.

"Day, go home. I think we got all the readings we're gonna need, there's nothing else to find," Geordi said.

He looked over to the side to see Geordi standing over him. He turned back and placed the PADD onto the console.

"Day, just go home and talk to her."

Day raised his head up to answer him.

"She's probably not even there anymore." He took a deep breath and released it. "I'm sure she's left by now."

Geordi just smiled in return and patted him on the shoulder.

"It never hurts to try."

Day conceded his pessimism with a sigh and rose up to leave as he heard Geordi called out after him, "Good luck!" He only waved back a thanks in return.

A few minutes later he was walking into his quarters to see everything back in its place. The table had been cleared off, the candles extinguished and the champagne put away. The room was still dim. _And empty,_ Day was no Tasha in sight.

Day walked into his bedroom to look for her there and still no Tasha. His shoulders slumped with disappointment as he walked over to the bed and sat down, running his hands back and forth through his hair. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on top of his knees as he rested his face in his hands. He found that he already missed her presence and he silently cursed himself for the way he acted earlier. After all, it wasn't her fault. In her mind, Dare was still so fresh. And seven years had not passed since their separation, nor had the other two attempts of reconciliation on Dare's part. In her mind, the relationship _was_ still on going. He couldn't allow himself to get upset every time she mentioned Dare's name.

But the truth was, Dare was still around, and the thought of him running into Tasha terrified Day. In fact, Dare was actually part of the negotiation proceedings onboard the Enterprise. That was a little piece of information that Day intentionally left out when she asked about it earlier. He desperately wanted to keep Dare away from Tasha** -** _far_ away from her. But he knew that he was just being selfish and that it was really about what Tasha wanted, not what _he_ wanted.

He jumped when he felt a hand upon his shoulder and quickly turned toward the source. Tasha immediately apologised for startling him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." she said holding up her hands in defense.

Day's eyes grew wide with surprise over her still being in his quarters. He stood up quickly to face her.

"I thought you left," he questioned.

She shook her head no and pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

"No, I was taking a bath." She paused for a moment before adding a little too quickly, "I hope that was okay?"

His eyes widened a little bit at the thought of her being completely naked just a few minutes ago. He quickly shook his head back and forth trying to push the thought out of his mind.

"No, I don't mind at all." Boy, that was an understatement, came the unbidden, taunting self-accusation from somewhere deep down in his inner psyche he wasn't previously aware existed. Day facepalmed and blinked his eyes a few times before sheepishly glancing back up at Tasha.

She smiled a little at him as he held her gaze. An uncomfortable silence fell between the two for a moment as they both spoke in unison.

"I'm sorry!"

Tasha looked down at the floor still smiling a little as Day spoke again.

"You first, please!"

She looked up once again making sure her eyes locked on to his before shebegan.

"I shouldn't have ever mentioned Dare. Especially on our date." She rolled her eyes a little at her folly. "I mean, of all the things _not_ to do on a first date. Everyone knows that number one is to never _ever_ mention your ex!" Her eyes immediately locked back on to his as she kept on. "You do remind me of Dare in some ways but you two are different in many ways as well." She paused a minute before adding, "Good ways!"

Day held up his hand to stop her and for the second time that night she was afraid that she had said the wrong thing again.

"Tasha, I have to tell you something."

Her face became a little more serious and her breath caught in her chest as Day added, "I think you should sit down."

She walked over to the bed and sat down on the side and watched him take his place beside her. He took a deep breath and let it out before going any further.

"I never told you how we got off of Rutia,did I?"

She chuckled a little to herself as she answered him, "Well, with all that's been going on I kind of forgot to ask you about it, too?"

He smiled back at her but she noticed that the smile did not quite reach his eyes. He knew something and whatever it was, it was troubling him. She reached out to take his hand in hers, silently encouraging him to continue.

"Well, we were captured by the Ansata and the guards decided to teach me a lesson." He ventured a sideways glance at her before continuing. "We encountered the Silver Paladin who was helping Finn in negotiations with the Rutian government. But what he was really there for was to rescue the Bajoran officer who had been taken hostage from the _Tripoli_. Her parents are Bajoran ambassadors whom had actually paid this man to go in and retrieve her."

Her eyes raised at the information that Day had just revealed.

"Really, so we weren't the only ones there on a rescue mission for the crew of the _Tripoli_?" she inquired.

Day shook his head and continued.

"No, this man who was hired to rescue the Bajoran was able to earn Finn's trust, and turn over evidence that his two closest followers, Roman and Daroul were looking to kill Finn. Apparently the three Ansata were in a power struggle," Day paused a moment. "So the man made a deal with Finn. He was to release us and make it look like an escape. Then in return the Silver Paladin would kill Daroul and Roman in the crossfire, ensuring Finn his life. He was able to do just that. And now Finn will not negotiate with any other person by his side." Day paused a moment before finishing. " So Commander Riker is representing the Rutian government and the Silver Paladin is representing the Ansata."

Tasha raised her eyebrows in confusion. "What about the Enterprise? Is the ship in any danger from these terrorists?" She paused briefly. "Or this Silver Paladin for that matter?"

"No!"

Tasha nodded her head before asking, her brows still furrowed in confusion.

"Day, why are you telling me all of this? I don't really see why this is relev-"

He raised his voice a little as he interrupted her.

"Tasha, the Silver Paladin is Dare."

Her eyes became wide with shock. It wasn't really quite the reaction he was expecting**,** but maybe this was a good thing - he hoped! After a few moments of letting the information settle in she finally broke the silence.

"Dare is here?" she asked the surprise evident in her voice.

_Oh God! This was it, _Day thought. The moment of truth. It was too late to take it all back now, no matter how badly he _wished he could"._

"Yes, he's here." He hated himself for his next statement. "I can arrange for you to meet with him, if you like." He offered.

She quickly looked down to the floor still holding his hand as she did so. He was amazed that not once did she let it go. He hoped that was a good sign but he still wasn't sure what to expect. After all, she did love this man. That much he knew. In her mind and in her heart, she still belonged to Dare. Not to him but to Dare. The thought crushed him. Mentally he was trying to prepare himself for the blow he was about to receiveas he heard her voice answer firmly.

"No."

He quickly looked over at her, surprised by her answer- so surprised that he was sure he didn't hear her right.

"I'm sorry - you said no?" he asked.

"No, I don't think I really need to see him." She shrugged her shoulders a little to explain further. "After all you said that we had ended everything and went our separate ways, right?"

Day just nodded his head affirmatively, still in shock from her response.

"Well Day, I figure that's already a bridge burned. So why try to go back and rebuild it?" She paused a moment before finishing. "Besides, I don't believe you would ever lie to me. For the past two days I have done nothing but analyze you to try to get a feel of the situation," she admitted.

Day couldn't resist asking. "So what's your verdict?"

She turned to look at him as she met his gaze to answer his question.

"I trust you, and I don't trust _any_ man." She smiled a little at him as she shrugged her shoulders before adding. "I find you to be very different from the rest but in a good way." She looked down at their hands still entwined between them as she sheepishly added**,** "You make me feel as though despite my past, I am still desirable. That I can still be loved. And not only that but feel _worthy_ of that love."

His next words were barely above a whisper but she could still detect the pain in his voice.

"But you don't even remember me!" he said honestly.

She squeezed his hand a little to reassure him of her words.

"I may not mentally right now but emotionally-" She paused a minute and ventured a look at him before adding, "a part of you still remains."

"And a part of Dare, too," he added a little too quickly. The guilt from the comment immediately overcame him. Day held up a hand of apology to her in return. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

If she didn't know any better she would say this man was very jealous over her past relationship with Dare. According to Day it was the past, why dwell on it? He seemed very fearful of the fact that Dare was still around. Was he that possesive over her? He didn't appear to be but what made him so unsure of himself the moment Dare's name was mentioned?

"Day, can I ask you something?"

He just simply nodded his head in return, thinking it better to keep his mouth shut from now on.

"Why are you so worried about Dare being around?" She finally released his hand and brought it back into her lap. "Every time Dare's name is mentioned you get all worked up."

Day took an audible deep breath and let it out, as if all the burden and fear he had been carrying around since this accident had happened was about to be released.

"Honestly?" He ventured a sideways look at her, only to see her nodding her reply. "I have an overwhelming fear of losing you." He paused a moment and noticed out of the corner of his eye that she had turned to face him. "I keep having this reoccurring dream**-**" he stopped to correct himself, "this _nightmare_ of you being killed, and it terrifies me because I honestly cannot picture my life without you in it." He shrugged his shoulders before finishing. "You tolerated me being a little too overprotective of you, but only to a certain point. You were very quick to forget the source of the problem and even faster to correct me on the issue."

"You mean that I would overlook the nightmares and lash out because I was so annoyed with you hovering over me constantly?"

"Exactly!"

Tasha feigned her disbelief. "No, not me!"

She noticed that he didn't even bother to smile at her antic. And she started to become equally concerned.

Once again, silence fell between them.

And Day's shoulders slumped as he placed his head within his hands. He was quietly admitting defeat from the storm raging within himself. Finally, his voice filled the space between them.

He refused to meet her gaze as he silently whispered. "I just want you to be happy." he admitted.

He chose this moment to raise his head up slightly to look into her eyes.

"And I know that you were happy with both of us at one point in your life." His face outwardly scrunched up from the thought of his next statement. "And if it's with him, then it just is and I'll accept it."

Tasha just sat there in complete astonishment taking this man in. His honesty seemed to have no bounds as far as she was concerned. It was unusual to find a man so - _selfless_. She knew that he would accept her decision, but only because he wanted whatever she wanted for herself. He was more than willing to endure the loss that he so dreadfully feared in order to ensure her happiness. Even she knew that Dare would never do that. He would never accept that she was gone and happy with another. No matter how many times their paths crossed, he would always try to get her back.

Day, on the other hand, appeared to be the exact opposite of this picture. He would resign from his place by her side to allow her the happiness that she was so desperate to capture.

She found that the decision wasn't that hard at all. This man intrigued her. He was different than most men and even she knew that was hard to come by these days. She would much rather stay put and see where this was going. Her relationship with Dare had already ended. There was no need to keep repeating history or for that matter keep reliving the heartache of it. It was time to start over. And she found that she wanted to do that with this man. Not with Dare. But with him.

He finally turned to face her and she spoke as soon as his eyes met hers. She emphasized the one word that she most wanted him to hear.

"I'm _happy_ with you!" she said truthfully.

She smiled at the sigh of relief that Day let out. He was obviously holding it in from the suspense of waiting - _waiting_ to hear her say just that one word. _Happy_. She was happy with him. Apparently he must be doing something right. For the first time since their conversation had started he smiled fully at her. He even placed his hand upon his chest as if to reassure himself of her statement.

"You're happy with _me_?" He said incredulously.

Tasha smiled at his disbelief. She actually got his reaction. He was humbled by the fact that in his eyes a woman like her would want a man like him. An action on his part that reaffirmed her worth. It instilled her belief that in this man's eyes she meant more than what she had always chalked herself up to be. She had always sold herself short but this man refused to allow her to do so any longer. It appears she had finally met a man who could challenge and reverse the labels Turkana Four had placed upon her. The thoughts were a tantalizing aspect and she couldn't resist placing a hand to the side of his face.

Day's smile faded a little as a more serious look overtook his features. It was one of desire and he knew that he would no longer be able to fight it back. His eyes began flicking back and forth between her eyes and her lips then back again. He was absolutely desperate to feel this woman's lips upon his. Just the few hours that had passed since their last kiss had seemed far too long.

He slowly began moving forward to cover the distance between their lips. Tasha remained still, anticipating the kiss. Day was mere inches from her lips when suddenly he stopped and began looking from one side of Tasha to the other and all around.

"Day... What are you doing?"

He looked back at her, still inches from her lips.

"I was making sure Spot wasn't anywhere around!"

Tasha threw her head back as she was overcome with spontaneous, genuine laughter! No doubt Day remembered Spot's untimely interruption from the the other night, when he attempted to kiss her for the first time.

"I believe he's in the living area, so I think it's safe to kiss me this time."

Day smiled and made a sideways motion with his head, silently indicating to Tasha to turn her head to the side so that he could move in to kiss her. She did so and within moments his lips were slowly brushing against hers. The kiss was slow and sensual. She felt his hand upon the side of her neck as he slid it back into her hair, gently pulling her more into the kiss. She couldn't help but notice how fast her heart was beating in her chest, when slowly he broke away. The desire was evident in his eyes. He wanted more. He wanted more of _her_.

They both just sat there trying to catch their breath from the intensity of the kiss. She could tell that he was desperately waging a war inside - whether to remain the gentleman or to become the rogue. It took her a few moments to find her voice but at last she was able.

"You mind walking me home?" she asked him.

He eyes widened at her request, obviously surprised by it. He tried masking his disappointment with a smile as he nodded and rose from the bed. He reached down to grab her hands as he helped her stand to her feet. She followed him out into the corridor. Once out there he reached for her hand and interlaced it with his arm. He was rewarded with her nuzzling her head upon his shoulder as they walked arm in arm down the corridor. After a few minutes they reached her quarters. She removed her arm from his and turned to face him with her back inches from the doors.

"G'night, Day!"

He propped his hand on the door just above her head as he smiled and began to lean in to kiss her one last time.

"Sweet dreams, Tasha!"

Her eyes widened at the implication of his words. _That rogue! _She knew exactly what he was implying. She watched as he closed the distance between them and once again claimed her lips. This kiss was much different than the previous one. He was giving her something to remember. The kiss quickly intensified as she placed her hands around his neck and up into his hair. She was running her fingers through his hair, pulling him to her out of desperation to feel his body against hers. His hand left the door and went instinctively to cup the side of her face as he left her lips and began slowly kissing his way down the side of her neck. He smiled as a moan escaped her lips and she could feel his breath tickling her neck as he slowly made his way back up to her lips once again. He suckled her bottom lip as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back to rest against the doors. He released it and gently kissed her cheek as he began kissing his way up to her ear. His breath was tickling against her, causing goosebumps up and down her skin. She chuckled a little as he whispered into her ear.

"Unfortunately and to my dismay, we have to stop!"

She leaned in to place another kiss to the side of his cheek. And he was shocked to hear her agree.

"I know -" she paused a moment still trying to catch her breath. "We do!"

She allowed her hands to slide through the back of his hair to rest upon his chest. He leaned back a little to look at her with disappointment obvious in his eyes. He nodded in agreement and leaned in to give her a very chaste kiss. A kiss that was less - _tempting. _He slowly backed away as she reluctantly dropped her hands from his chest.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Day said. It was more of a question than that of an assurance.

"Yeah, I'll be on the bridge tomorrow. Captain Picard wants Worf to go over some more tactical procedures with me." She smiled a little at the idea. "So you will get to see me bright and early in the morning."

Day reached his hand out to stroke the side of her face once again.

"I can't wait!"

He turned to walk away only to be stopped by her hand upon his arm. He questioningly turned back toward her.

"Day, can you do me a favor before you leave?"

He only nodded in return as she sheepishly asked him, "Could you please unlock my door? I can't remember the code!"

Day chuckled a little and walked over to the computer pad beside her quarters and typed in her code and the doors immediately opened.

"What is it?" Tasha asked as he walked back up to her.

"Data 3028," he said before going into further detail as he noticed the question in her eyes. "It's the first two letters of my name and the first two letters of your name - 'Da-Ta'! And the thirty stands for my age; and the twenty-eight -.

She interrupted him, "-Stands for my age..."

He smiled at her quick understanding. "Correct!" He then added, "You changed it awhile back. Beverly had to actually come and get it from me before releasing you from sickbay, just so you could get inside your quarters."

She chuckled a little at that. "Good thing you're around then!"

He shrugged his shoulders a little. "It would seem that way."

It was she who leaned in first this time to kiss him one last time. He couldn't help but notice how soft her lips were; and he missed the feel of them when the kiss ceased. He opened his eyes to see her staring up at him. It was he who said his farewell first.

"Goodbye, Tasha!"

She smiled a little and replied, "How about 'see ya around' instead?"

Day's eyes widened at her words and she noticed his surprise.

"What?" she asked curiously.

He quickly began fumbling for an explanation.

"Nothing - nothing at all. G'night Tasha," he leaned in and quickly gave her a kiss upon her cheek. Tasha smiled at the gesture and whispered a good night in return and Day watched as she walked into her quarters.

Day turned to start heading back down the corridor to his quarters, still in shock from the words she had just spoken._ "How about 'see ya around' instead?" _Those were the same exact words he spoke to her the last night they were on Praxa! The very night that she came to his quarters. The same night that she implied that those words were no more than a false sense of hope in ever seeing him again. He couldn't help but to smile at the wonder of it - a memory that she had subconsciously recollected. Maybe Beverly was right - she _would_ remember him in time. Her brain seemed to be slowly doing just that. Things were starting to correct themselves between the two of them. And the excitement of her remembering that small detail on Praxa ensured his loss of sleep that night.

_**-x-x-x-**_

_**Author's Notes: I have to thank Bookfan 87 for her amazing skills in Beta Reading. Sending lots of love your way girl, you are very patient with my mishaps and mistakes and I wanted to thank you for it...**_


	12. Decisions, Decisions

**If Only**

**Chapter 12 ~ "Decisions, Decisions..."**

**-x-x-x-**

Lieutenant Tasha Yar sat in Ten Forward with the young woman who had came to see her a few nights ago in her quarters. She was beautiful, sympathetic and understanding. Tasha felt at ease with her. She had the feeling that if she could remember her, they must have been close friends. Now, she knew her name as while on the bridge earlier that day she had introduced herself as Counselor Deanna Troi. A couple hours into Tasha's shift the Counselor invited her to lunch. And now here they were sitting across the table from one another in the far corner. They chose this table because it was away from all the prying eyes that Tasha had spent the last four days trying to avoid. She felt more secure at this table than she did out in the open.

"So how have you been adapting, Tasha?"

Deanna's voice broke Tasha's train of thoughts as she smiled genuinely back to answer her.

"Well, it's been a little - awkward," she admitted, smiling to herself from the thoughts of Day that entered her mind. "But Day has made it a lot more...well, _tolerable."_

"How so?" Deanna enquired.

Tasha raised her eyebrows a little from the prying question. She chuckled a little, then her eyes began wandering absentmindedly from Deanna's empathic gaze as she became a little more uncomfortable. There was something about the Counselor's deep, dark eyes that unnerved her, despite their almost instant camaraderie experienced earlier. It reminded Tasha of the classic recurring dream, where someone inexplicably found themselves unclothed in a public place or awkward social situation; although she did not believe the Betazoid meant her any harm. Tasha had always been a private, reserved person, one for whom trust did not come easily; and once given could be revoked at the slightest perceived infraction. Instinctively she leaned back in her seat.

"Tasha, I sense that you are feeling a bit uneasy with my line of questioning. So how about you just tell me what you feel is necessary, " Deanna motioned for the waiter, "and I'll just listen and advise you in any possible area that is troubling you - Deal?"

Tasha nodded up and down as their waiter reached their table. Deanna looked up and ordered two chocolate sundaes for the pair. Tasha took a deep breath and mentally made the decision to open up.

"Were we friends before thishappened?"

"Yes, we were close friends. In fact, I considered you my best friend and I believed you to consider me the same," Deanna reassured her.

Tasha smiled once again to herself from the thoughts that came into her mind. "Day has been a lot of help to me in filling in the gaps of my memory."

Deanna smiled in return as Tasha continued,"I actually went to see him the past two days and he's been alot of help to me." She paused a moment as if pondering what she was about to reveal next, choosing to leave out the part where she had stayed the night in Day's quarters. "I'm assuming that you knew about the relationship since we were close?"

"You presumed right, I did know. And you were very happy as well." Deanna added.

"Yes! That's what Day said,too." She motioned a little with her hand as if trying to express what she wanted to say. "He seems so_ familiar _to me. I mean, nothing else stands out to me. I don't remember nothing. Everything is all new to me again - you, the Enterprise, the senior staff. Everything, _except_ Day!"

Deanna smiled knowingly. "Maybe, it's because your heart remembers him." The counselor paused a moment as the waiter returned with their chocolate sundaes and placed them upon the table. Deanna picked up her spoon before continuing, "You know, Tasha, there have been several cases of husband/wife in a similiar state as you, and for some reason their heart clings to the memories of their spouse. The brain doesn't recall them but the heart does; and the heart is even responsible for triggering the memories repressed within the brain."

Tasha picked up her spoon and took a bite of her sundae, nodding her approval of the sweet.

"So you think that my heart remembers him, in spite of my brain being unable to do so?"

Deanna nodded as she swallowed a bite of her sundae. "I think that you loved him in such a profound way that your heart refuses to forget him." She peered over her spoon at Tasha before confidently adding, "I believe that when the mind forgets,sometimes the heart goes into a type of survival mode allowing the person to in some way remember the significance of someone whom they truly loved."

Tasha nodded in understanding. "So I did care a lot about him then?"

"No, Tasha you didn't. You loved him very deeply." Deanna assured her before adding. "You once told me that,despite your disdain toward marriage in general, that you could see yourself _married_ to Day. You loved him that much."

"Wow! He must've really swept me off my feet considering we've only served together for a few months now!" Tasha exclaimed.

Deanna chuckled a little. "You and Day go back further than just the _Enterprise. _From what I understand, you have been smitten with him for some time now."

Tasha's eyes widened at the revelation, then quickly put two and two together. That wasn't what Day told her. He'd implied that their relationship didn't begin until they both served aboard the _Enterprise_ - not before.

"That's not what Day said!" Tasha said aghast.

Deanna forced another spoon of chocolate into her mouth as she quickly realized her folly. She tried desperately to recover:

"Well, you had a crush on him at the Academy..." She began wildly waving one hand, as if distracted by a particularly freezing mouthful of sundae. "Way, way, way back before the _Enterprise."_

Tasha studied Deanna for a moment and silently relented to her words as being the truth.

"So I liked him while enrolled at the Academy? Because I don't remember being engaged to Dare and having a semi-small crush on another man during the same time," Tasha revealed.

"Oh, it was after graduation. You were on the _Cochrane. _You and Day met briefly while on a mission and you instantly developed a crush on him."

"But - you said that I was in the Academy?" Tasha countered.

Deanna waved a hand in the air dismissing her previous claims. "Ah - I meant the _Cochrane_, I get my memories crossed sometimes!" she said apologetically.

_Oh!, _Tasha thought to herself_. "_Well, let me ask you this..." She peered into what remained of her sundae as she shyly asked. "Was Day in love with me?"

Deanna's beautiful near-perfect teeth began showing as the smile that she gave Tasha brightened her whole face.

"Yes, very much so. Day is crazy about you and still is - I fear that there is no hope for that man now that he has met you!"

Tasha smiled a little at the picture Deanna painted for her. However, the thought of it frightened her even more, because she knew Dare was around and she was still unsure of her reaction to seeing him again.

Deanna sensed her thoughts as she inquired. "You're afraid of how you'll respond to Darryl Adin**,** aren't you? You're reasonably certain you love Day, but you're unsure of pursuing the relationship further lest in the end you wind up hurting someone you care so much about as a person and a friend, as well as a lover..."

Tasha silently nodded and leaned in closer to the table as she whispered her words. "I think I still love him."

And to Tasha's surprise Deanna didn't looked shocked or dismayed by her revelation.

"It is understandable to still care for the first man you ever loved. Most never forget their first love, but they do eventually move on to a greater love, without reservation." Deanna looked down at her sundae as she posed her next question. "I suppose you need to figure out which man is which to you."

"You mean, is Day the greater love?" Tasha inquired.

"I can't answer that for you Tasha, only you know the answer to that question," Deanna replied. "But keep in mind that love - true, _lasting_ love is made up of different facets. It involves relating to another person in a personally-enriching, emotionally and spiritually healthy way on a variety of levels, for both participants in a relationship. Not just one."

"How is it possible to love two men at the same time?" Tasha asked befuddled.

"Right now, in your mind you still love Dare, right?" Deanna asked.

"I think so..." Tasha shook her head in frustration. "Oh, I don't know - I'm...I'm so confused!" She blurted out truthfully.

"Well, maybe what you should be asking yourself is 'who does my _heart _remember?' "

Tasha placed her head in her hands from defeat. As she mumbled the words so low that Deanna had to use her telepathy to pick up on her question.

"But my heart remembers them both." Tasha conceded. "At times, when I'm with Day, I think I've found my answer..." She hesitated slightly as she whispered. "But when I'm alone..." She left the thought unfinished.

Deanna, the professional that she was, easily read between the lines. So she tried a different line of questioning. "Let me put it to you this way, Tasha: In your mind, you have lost seven years of your memory which places you back to when your relationship with Dare was alive and well...Correct?"

Tasha nodded in agreement as she still kept her head in her hands.

"This is just from the Counselor's point of view; but I find it a wonder that despite all your memories of Day being wiped away, _you _even recall feeling any significant emotion towards him at _all!_"

Tasha slowly raised her head up as she peered across the table to Deanna.

"You do have a point." Tasha conceived.

"A valid one, too!" Deanna gave her one of her most serene smiles.

"So you think compared between the two that I subconsciously love Day more?"

Deanna smiled as she answered Tasha. "Yes, from what I know personally of both of you, I do. Well, that and the fact that you entrusted that little bit of _information_ to me awhile back..."

Tasha rolled her eyes as Deanna chuckled a little from that piece of information that she had so obviously forgotten about indulging to the Counselor.

"Okay, so what do I do when Dare comes back around? - _and _he will, mind you!" Tasha asked anxiously.

"I can't answer that for you either! Let me ask you a question, Tasha..." Deanna tried a different tactic. "Who do you see yourself with?" She placed her spoon down upon the table as she motioned with her hands a little. "I mean, who do you envision is initially better for you?"

"Well, career-wise it's Day, because Dare would ask me to leave the Enterprise_." _She paused a moment. "But the truth still remains, that I do still love Dare and he apparently still loves me."

Deanna sighed inwardly. It was obvious that Tasha was considering only one or two dimensions of the "love" she found so compelling. "Would someone who truly loves you ask you to give up your dream?" Deanna countered.

"No, they wouldn't," Tasha admitted.

"And would you give that dream up for him?" Deanna asked.

Again Tasha answered. "No, I wouldn't."

"Well then, you have nothing to fret over, do you?" Deanna assured her.

"But Dare has this kind of hold on me that can pose some major problems for me and Day if I'm not careful." Tasha revealed.

"Tasha, Do you want to be with Dare?" Deanna bluntly asked.

"I don't know." Tasha admitted a little frustrated from being no closer to her answer than when she first started. "Everything in me tells me that he is in every aspect _bad_ for me." She paused a minute. "Which is a little ironic now because I used to idolize him."

"Do you want to be with Day?"

Tasha smiled at the mention of his name yet again. "Day intrigues me. Apart from his babbling at times, he is sweet and - _selfless_ as far as I am concerned. He professes to only want what is best for me and I find myself believing him. But - Dare claims to want the same things for me as well or at least the Dare I knew did."

"Which one is asking you to give up your dream of serving Starfleet?" Deanna asked as she smirked a little from her triumphant insight.

Tasha's eyes widened. "From what I've heard it's always Dare. He was soured on Starfleet ever since before the court martial, when he was falsely accused of sabotage and they put him through that... _inquisition_..." Tears welled up unbidden in Tasha's eyes as her voice broke on that last word, which might as well have been _crucifixion_ for all the emotion it invoked. She leaned forward with her face in her hands, then took a deep breath before continuing, "I'm sorry, Deanna; but if it weren't for Dare being framed like he was by the Orions and that rogue engineer during that otherwise routine cadet training mission, he'd probably never given up his career in Starfleet. They'd offered to reinstate him afterwards, with full rank and honors, as you probably already know; but-" Tasha abruptly stopped and shook her head, her doubts left unspoken. As much as she loved the _ideals_ that Starfleet stood for, what with their overzealous, rigid application of the Prime Directive - not to mention the whispered bits and pieces of rumors heard here and there about some rogue Section 31 - those ideals were in practice often far from the reality. She was never quite sure when talking with a friend or fellow officer which conversations were strictly "off the record," however; and so she kept her ambivalence to herself.

Deanna, however, being empathic picked up on the emotions Tasha was feeling, if not the exact reasoning behind them. "You know, Day once confided in me that he understood just why you became Chief of Security. That you felt it necessary to fight back against _any_ wrong that was being forced upon others, regardless of its source - because of the injustices you yourself were forced to endure on Turkana. You overcame those experiences with your faith in humanity and the ultimate triumph of good over evil still intact. And that type of bravery to him only made you all the more beautiful."

Tasha peered over the table at Deanna as her words settled within her. Apparently, the man knew her very well. The revelation almost made her fears cease from such worries as Darryl Adin.

"I've noticed -" Deanna added, "that whenever Dare is mentioned a look of trepidation overtakes your features. _But _when Day is mentioned you smile and the turmoil within you seems to cease, if only for a moment."

"That's because it does." Tasha paused momentarily, carefully considering her next words. "I don't want to dissappoint Day or hurt him for that matter. Especially over Dare."

"Tasha you just have to do what you genuinely think is best for you. Ask yourself who can you see spending the rest of your life with."

"Whoa, let's not jump the gun here!"

Deanna chuckled a little at Tasha's remark.

"Well, it's clear that you genuinely love both men. But you have to admit that Dare does have the upper hand on Day. After all, all the memories of your life with him are still intact. Poor Day is having to start from scratch again." Deanna paused a minute and then offered a suggestion. "Maybe you should just date both men."

Simultaneously, Tasha's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened at the idea of dating both men. In her experience that was almost ridiculous!

"I know what you're thinking, but it would help give you a better idea of which man was really in it for the long haul." Deanna explained.

"No, I couldn't do that."

"Tasha, it's not like you're _married_ to the guys! Its just a _date_, nothing more," Deanna reasoned. "At the heart of it, the true quest of any male-female romantic relationship is to find a partner with whom to spend one's life in giving and receiving unconditional love. Without the freedom to spend at least _some_ one-on-one time together, how do you get to know someone well enough - their personality, character, likes, dislikes, values, strengths and weaknesses - to make an appropriate decision?"

Deanna could see by the look on Tasha's face she was considering it, but not quite convinced. "Think about it... How is that goal served by making yourself exclusively avaliable to only one man at a time?" Deanna paused to allow that thought a moment for reflection. "If a man really cares about your inner person, he's going to want both of you to come to the right decision about the relationship. Whatever is best and will make you happiest is what's important to them, because they could never be truly happy themselves, knowing you'd be happier and more fulfilled with someone else. What kind of 'relationship' would that be?"

"Instead all too many people restrict themselves in pseudo half-commitments - whether it be labeled 'dating,' 'serious dating,' 'pre-engaged' - whatever _that_ means!" Deanna chuckled, "that only restrict opportunities for self-discovery and serve the best interests of neither party. Take it from someone who has learned the hard way -you're either committed to one another or you're not - there is no 'halfway.' So why not just relax and enjoy the ride?"

"Day and I had our first date in his quarters last night..." Tasha said, inadvertantly expressing her thoughts aloud.

Deanna's eyes widened from the disclosure. Tasha quickly fumbled to correct the obvious direction Deanna's thoughts were going.

_Oh God! _"No- it wasn't like _that_!" she exclaimed.

Deanna giggled from Tasha's embarrassment over the misinterpretation of her remark.

"Neither did I mean 'ride' in that sense, let me assure you! But I couldn't help thinking that Day works fast!" Deanna chuckled.

Tasha blushed a little from the thoughts (and images!) that Deanna's insinuation brought to mind.

"No, Day is a complete gentleman!" Tasha exclaimed, then wryly muttered under her breath, "...Unfortunately."

At this, both women totally burst out laughing in genuine lighthearted mirth, causing several patrons in Ten-Forward to gawk at them with strangely curious looks on their faces. Suddenly Deanna noticed the smile that plastered Tasha's face was quickly dissipating. _There it was again, _Deanna thought. That look of pure trepidation that could only mean one thing.

Following the direction of Tasha's shocked stare, Deanna turned to see one of the main subjects of their conversation standing before them. No one other than Darryl Adin, smiling wickedly at the woman whom he had locked eyes with.

_**-x-x-x-x-x-**_

_*** Please leave a review! Especially, if you are enjoying the story...And as always, I have to thank Bookfan87 for the corrections on this story. Her "tweeking" makes my writing more bearable to read.* **_

_**And just to let those who might be interested know that I need a new Beta Reader. Bookfan is awesome but her time is very limited. I'm looking for someone who can help keep the story updated at a fast pace and to add corrections to the story as it progresses and bear in mind that some chapters are subject to change. As there are a few chapters, that I am seriously thinking about deleting and giving them a full rewrite because the story tends to die off a little. So if anyone is interested, please send a message my way...Thanks guys! I hope you enjoy the story...**_


	13. If Only Things Were Different

_**If Only**_

_**Chapter 13 ~"If Only Things Were Different"**_

_**-x-x-x-**_

Deanna couldn't help but notice the similarities between Darryl Adin and Daystrom Soong. To be honest, in all appearances they looked quite alike. All though they were some areas that Deanna could hand-pick quite a few differences between the men. Dare had almost a ruggish look to him, whereas Day was always very meticulous about his appearance. And she noticed that his voice wasn't quite as attractive as Day's. But throw in a desirable situation and it dangerously held the potential of being very seductive.

"Ladies -" Dare nodded his head at the pair. "And how are we this afternoon?"

Deanna smirked a little at his charm and sensed immediately that three was a crowd.

"Very well, thank you!" Deanna replied as she risked a glance at Tasha before adding. "But - I have to get back to the bridge."

Deanna smiled a little as Tasha's eyes went wide with concern. Deanna could sense that she felt more secure with her here, so slowly the Counselor sat back down.

"Change your mind?" Dare inquired light-heartedly as he turned to smile at Tasha.

Deanna quietly nodded. "I believe it can wait a few more minutes."

Dare pointed down to the chair in front of him. "May I join you?" He turned once again to Tasha, smirking as he added. "I promise not to stay long."

Tasha slowly nodded her answer.

Dare smiled and immediately turned his attention to Deanna.

"I hear you're an empath - Is that true?"

"Yes, I'm half betazoid and half human. But I am still empathic." Deanna replied.

"How interesting is that?" He turned to Tasha to reiterate. "That's very interesting isn't Tasha?"

"Yes it is, Dare!" she added a little stoically.

His eyes raised a bit, shocked from the fact that she actually spoke this time. Although her words were not filled with excitement over seeing him, still it was _something_. And once again he turned his attention to Deanna.

"Tell me since you are empathic can you sense anything between us?" He motioned back and forth between Tasha and himself.

"I sense a lot of unresolved issues." Deanna answered truthfully.

Dare turned his attention to Tasha as he captured her gaze with his brown eyes.

"Hmm - I sense that too!" He added mischievously.

Tasha couldn't resist rolling her eyes a little as she looked back to Deanna whom was trying to suppress a smile. She was finding the situation very amusing. This man was obviously trying to feel Tasha out. She sensed that he desperately wanted to re-awaken the feelings that Tasha used to possess for him.

"So Dare, how's the negotiations going?" Tasha asked obviously uncomfortable with the direction Dare was taking the conversation.

The smirk upon his face increased as the knowledge of what she was doing hit him.

"Good, I'm guessing that within a few more days we would have reached an agreement." He replied.

"Why exactly are you helping them again?" Tasha inquired.

Dare shrugged his shoulders. "Well, these people have been unjustly ruled over for decades by the Rutian Government. Almost all of the Ansata had broken free and walked through the mountainous terrain to reach the western continent that is now their home base."

"Are you talking about slavery?" Tasha asked in disbelief.

Dare nodded his head in return. "Yes, they are oppressed and despite their escape the Government enslaves them in financial ways. With claims of what most of us would recognize as property taxes." Dare looked between the pair as he continued. "The Rutians claim that the Ansata's settled on their land and therefore tax them for doing so. If they don't pay the government will do an onslaught of repeated attacks for failure of not collecting. The Government is very good at hiding their tyranny from the Federation but I have an inkling that even Commander Riker is wising up to their ways of keeping their people in line."

Dare's description of Rutia revived Tasha's memories of Turkana. That is exactly how the war on her planet broke out. All because of a tyrannical government that wanted to oppress instead of set free. Tasha couldn't help but stare back into Dare's eyes, conveying the sympathy that she felt for these people. Deanna used that moment to excuse herself as she said her goodbyes. Neither one ever really noticed her departure.

Dare slowly reached over the table and placed his hand on top of Tasha's as he added.

"I could use you in the negotiations, Tasha."

She shyly looked down at his hand lying on top of hers.

"Dare, I can't do that."

"Yes, you can. You can relate to these people." He lightly squeezed her hand before adding. "You've walked in their shoes before."

"Dare, I've been relieved of duty for awhile." Tasha explained.

Confusion filled Dare's features. "But you were on the bridge today, weren't you?"

"Yes, for retraining purposes." She paused a moment as she ventured a look at him to still see the confusion upon his face. "I've lost seven years of my memory - so Lieutenant Worf is retraining me on Tactical aboard the Enterprise, since I am no longer familiar with a ship this advanced."

He silently nodded. "I'm sorry, Tasha - I didn't know." He didn't ask but he knew that fall she took on Rutia apparently did a lot more damage than he had initially thought.

She waved a hand of dismissal. "It's okay, you wouldn't have known."

"Well the offer still stands, if your Captain will permit it of course." Dare offered.

Tasha smiled a little to herself. "Thank you."

He smirked in return and she couldn't help but notice just how dangerously handsome this man was. She suddenly became more aware of his hand on top of hers. She slowly pulled it out from under his, as she watched the smirk that was upon his face turn into a full blown smile.

"Still a little weary of me, I see!" Dare observed.

"A little?"

"Well, I'm hoping that if you help me with negotiations that I might be able to remedy that." Day countered.

"Dare, I can't hel-"

He held up his hand and she immediately stopped.

"I think I'll talk to Captain Picard about that!"

Tasha was aghast. "Dare, No-"

And with that said he was gone, she looked up just in time to see him brushing past Day.

_Oh God, Day she thought. _He paused a moment to look at her with a number of emotions flooding his features. She could see hurt, disbelief and fear all relenting to one – _understanding_!She almost felt relieved by his presence as he walked over to her. This time, he didn't ask for permission to join her as he pulled out the seat beside her. Without hesitation he reached across the table to take her hand in his.

"You okay?" He asked, his face filled with concern.

She was obviously distraught over the reappearance of Darryl Adin. Her mind and heart was in turmoil. And she desperately welcomed the peace of mind that Day brought with his presence. She quickly scooted her chair closer to his. Day leaned in closer as she wrapped her arms around him, no longer heeding to the prying eyes that surrounded them. Day held her tightly as he could feel her head finally shaking up and down to give him his answer.

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"Did he say anything out of the way to you?" Day asked.

"No."

"Good."

Tasha leaned back from his embrace for a moment to look up at him.

"He wants me to help in the negotiations, Day."

Day's embrace stiffened immediately from her words, his heart beating faster within his chest. He pushed the anxiety back down and nodded toward the exit of Ten Forward.

"Come on, I'll walk you to your quarters." He offered.

Day helped her stand to her feet, ignoring the inquisitive glances of other patrons. She wrapped her arm through his just as she had done last night while walking her home. They walked in silence, neither one knowing exactly what to say but instead enjoying each other's presence. Reaching Tasha's quarters, she turned to face him as she let go of his arm.

"Would you like to come in for a minute?"

The smile that Day gave her only made him all the more handsome.

"I would but I can't stay long - I have to be getting back to the bridge soon." he added.

Tasha smiled a little in to his response as she turned and walked through the doors with Day following close behind. She turned quickly on her heels to face him, so quickly that he almost bumped right into her. He immediately placed his hands on her arms to keep himself from doing so.

"I'm sorry." Tasha said guiltily.

And for the first time in her life she felt as if she wasn't in control of a situation. Her emotions were all over the place – her heart seemed to be in two pieces, one side warring against the other.

Day slowly moved his hand up her arm as he cupped her chin, tilting it up to him. He slowly leaned in and lightly brushed his lips against hers.

"You don't need to apologize." He offered.

Tasha leaned back in to claim his lips once again, this one becoming a little more passionate but not to the point of being unable to reign in the desire.

"I don't want you to feel as though I'm sneaking around to see him."

He chuckled a little to himself. "Well, if you were I would hope you two would pick a better place than Ten Forward."

Tasha smiled at his jesting remark and silently nodded in agreement.

"True!" she said.

Suddenly, Day's smile faded from his face as his features took on a more somber dispositon.

"Tasha, you said that Dare asked you to help him with the negotiations?"

She nodded her answer as she was overtaken by the fear that lain within his eyes.

"Do you want too?" He whispered.

Tasha replied very softly as she shyly looked down. "I don't know!"

Day surprised her with his next words. "I think you should."

"Why?" Tasha asked in disbelief.

"I think it would be good for you. You've always been one to fight for the underdogs." He paused a moment as he placed his hand on the side of her face. "It's a quality that I have always admired about you."

She faintly smiled in return. "You know, I feel so sorry for those people. I had no idea that they were fighting against such odds. They have an interesting history I wouldn't mind looking more into." Suddenly the thought hit her and she looked directly into his eyes. "Day, you have a photographic memory don't you?"

"How did you -"

She interrupted him. "Tell me more about Rutia?"

Day looked back at her and paused a moment. "Well, are you familiar with an ancient Earth book called the Bible?"

Tasha vaguely nodded her head up and down. "I've heard of it. Why?"

"It is a book that covers a lot of Earth's history. And there is one story in there about a man named Moses. He was actually adopted by the Pharaoh and raised as a prince. Unbeknownst to the Pharaoh, Moses was an Isrealite, a descendant of the same people that the Pharaoh enslaved. And when he reached adulthood his purpose was revealed to him. He was to gather up all the Israelites, free them and lead them to the promise land."

His hand lightly began stroking the side of her face. "Kyril Finn is a modern day Moses. He was raised by Prime Minister Taleel. A truth that is not made public knowledge to outsiders. He later found out that he was of Ansatiam descent. And he fought to have his people set free, where he led them to the western continent."

Tasha just stared back at him in amazement. "How do you do that?"

Day couldn't help but smile. "That's the second time you've asked me that same question this week."

Tasha chuckled a little to herself. "I wasn't talking about your I.Q. silly, not directly at least. I was referring to the fact that you can spin off so much vital information and still remain as handsome as ever to me."

Day smiled back in return. "Lucky, I guess."

She knew him well enough now to realize that he wasn't speaking vainly but more so based on the disbelief that a woman like her would find a man like him handsome at all.

Tasha leaned in to kiss him once again lightly on the lips. As she pulled back her features became a little more serious.

"You don't mind me working with Dare?" She asked curiously.

He hesitated for a moment and then slightly shook his head no.

"Tasha can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you still - _love _Dare?" He faltered a little trying to explain his question a little better. "I mean, I know you will always care for him but are you still_ in love _with him?"

She lowered her head against his chest and sighed audibly.

"I don't know." She whispered truthfully.

Day let out a deep breath and slowly he reached his hand out once again to cup her chin. Tasha instinctively looked up at him this time.

"Can I make a suggestion?" He offered.

She silently nodded yes.

"I think it would be best for both of us if you found out the answer to that question, don't you?"

Still looking into his eyes she nodded in agreement before relenting to the truth. To a truth that had been welling up inside her since this conversation had started. It was a truth that had made its presence known through her inability to stop it.

"I don't want to lose you." She silently conceded.

He leaned in and gently kissed her lips again trying his best to reassure her.

"I will always be here for you - your decision will never change that!" Day added.

She quickly moved forward enveloping herself in his embrace as she wrapped her arms around him, her eyes welling with the tears that were threatening to fall. She slowly turned her head to the side as she softly admitted a reality that both could not dispute.

"I wish things were _different!" _

Day leaned his head against hers and began lightly stroking her hair, the power of his words resonating throughout her whole body.

_"If only!"_ He admitted helplessly.

She knew exactly what he meant. If only things were different, then they would probably be just as happy as they were before. It was all a cruel, sick joke really. It seemed as if the forces of the universe were conspiring against them.

"I don't know what to do!" Tasha pleaded.

The desperation in her voice utterly broke his heart as he lightly kissed the top of her head.

"Do what is best for you, whatever feels right to you – do just that!" Day suggested.

She slowly broke the embrace as she leaned back to look up at him. She reached up to place her hand lightly on the side of his face.

"Even if that decision doesn't include you?" she inquired hesitantly.

She noticed how he quickly averted his gaze from hers, staring off in the distance at some unknown object.

"Yes." He answered softly.

She was puzzled. "So you would risk losing your happiness in order to see me gain mine?"

Day shrugged his shoulders before responding. "Technically, I didn't lose. I was given a chance to love you and that is enough for me." And then he quickly added. "It will hurt - but it would hurt me more knowing that you chose to stay with me out of loyalty. I would much rather see you happy and living the life of happiness you deserve."

She turned his face slightly so that his gaze would be forced to meet hers. "I find you to be a - very _unique_ man, Daystrom Soong?"

A look of astonishment overtook his features. And he was even more amazed to hear her add.

"I feel as though that's not the only time I've said that to you." She admitted with a distinct feeling of déjà vu.

Day smiled from the memory as he confirmed her suspicions.

"No, it's not. You spoke those same exact words to me while on Rutia." He paused a moment and then added. "It was shortly after I pulled you over a waterfall."

She seemed to be fighting back the smile that was slowly beginning to overtake her features and it wasn't long before the smile fully came forth.

"You threw me over a waterfall?"

Day rolled his eyes a little from her exaggeration and responded in his defense.

"I didn't throw you over the waterfall - I gently pulled you along with me." He innocently replied.

She crossed her arms to insinuate the disbelief she felt. She wasn't buying it. He pulled her over but there was no gentleness about it. Day pointed back toward the doors, quickly adding.

"I have to get back -" He was fumbling for his words while backing up toward the doors. "To the umm -" He noted the mischievous look in her eyes before finishing. "The bridge."

His back hit the doors as she predatorily stalked forward till she reached him. She couldn't help but noticed how he swallowed hard from his obvious discomfort.

"I had another memory just now." She confessed.

His eyes widened with excitement. "Really!"

"Uh-huh."

He slightly cocked his head to the side, questioning her. "And..?"

"I think it went something like this..."

She slowly leaned in to capture his lips with hers. It took him a moment to respond, mainly out of pure shock from her actions. But gently his lips began to respond as she leaned further into the kiss, deepening it. Day lightly wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her body against his and she encircled hers around his neck.

The kiss quickly turned from an innocent gesture to that of guilty pleasure. And she found herself desperately fighting the need to literally pull him into her bedroom. Normally it was she whom was ignorant to the fact of being the tempter. But in this case the roles were strangely reversed. It was he who was tempting her. And the idea of that he was completely unaware of the deed in itself was strangely erotic. But she couldn't deny the longing that was welling up inside her. A need that she could obviously no longer tame - she wanted him and she wanted him right then!

Day quickly brought both hands up to cup the sides of her face as he slowly pulled away, both panting from the intensity that the kiss had produced. The room was filled with desire and both suffered from the ache to quench it.

Finally Day was able to find his voice. "I'm not quite sure how to narrow that memory down."

"So we've shared many kisses like that then?" she asked.

"Not exactly like that - each kiss with you is completely unique and special in its own way." Day solemnly admitted.

"I can tell!" Tasha quipped back.

Day smirked a little at her remark as he sadly pointed back to the doors behind him.

"You have to go, don't you?"

He silently nodded as she spoke up yet again.

"Will I see you later?"

"If you want too." He replied.

Tasha smiled up at him as she placed her hand onto the side of his face.

"I want to!"

She couldn't help but notice how his smile brightened up the lines of his handsome features.

"Good. I'll see you after while then?"

She nodded her reply as she gently leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss goodbye.

"Just punch in the code and come on in." She smiled seductively at him before adding. "I'll be waiting for you."

_**-x-x-x-x-x-x-**_

_**Author's Notes: It's been awhile since I've updated this story but I have to admit that I am not the type of author whom can leave a story unfinished. So I've taken this story back up, along with "Within the Confines of Time". So let me know how you guys like it. Enjoy!**_


	14. The Fate of Kings

**If Only** **Chapter 14 ~ "The Fate of Kings"**

_**-x-x-x-x-x-**_

Instead of meeting her in her quarters, Day sent a private message for her to meet him in holodeck four, which is where she now stood, waiting to had no idea what he had planned but she was anxious to see. She took in a deep breath and then exhaled as she entered the holodeck that was already occupied by one member. She immediately walked in as the doors opened to allow entrance.

Her eyes were greeted by the sight of lush green palm trees everywhere. With a trail of white sand that followed down to some unknown area. She could hear in the distance the faint sound of waves collapsing on top of one another. It was still daylight but the sun appeared to be setting soon as she could see it slowly descending in the sky.

She smiled to herself from the eagerness that welled within her. She followed the trail down a little ways as the sound of the roaring waves became louder and louder, mixed in with the sound of sea gulls chattering about. She noticed how the palm trees became less and less dense and she could make out what seemed to be smoke billowing up into the sky. From where or what she wasn't quite sure but she expected to find out soon enough.

She reached the end of the trail and smiled approvingly as her eyes beheld white sand everywhere. And she couldn't resist the temptation to remove her shoes so that she could feel that sand between her toes. The smell of salt filled the air as she followed the smoke up over the sand dunes that were before her.

She gazed out into the beauty of a Caribbean blue ocean with a white beach house about fifty feet from the water. She watched for a moment as the smoke billowed out from its chimney. It had a huge wrap around porch and she could make out two distinct lights twinkling in the dusk. The closer she got the clearer the lights became. They were two lit candles that sat perfectly on a dining table. Everything was already set, just as she had done for them the night before.

She slowly approached only to see Day leaning against the far railing of the porch, his glass in hand. He wore a button down white shirt with black pants. And she couldn't help but notice how the first two buttons remained undone, revealing his chest all the more. She found that the unconscious act was tantalizing. Especially as the wind coming in from the waves would slightly blow it open to reveal the skin hidden beneath.

She finally withdrew her eyes from his chest to take the rest of him in. He was quite a handsome man and she couldn't resist any opportunity to secretly behold him. His eyes were averted toward the sunset as she continued to drink him in. She looked at his long lean legs. And she slightly shuddered from the thought of how many times those legs have been entwined with hers. She slowly began making her way back up toward his chest as she lingered there for only a moment. And then she took in his arms. How despite his slim physique he seemed to keep quite in shape. She marveled at how his sleeves were slightly rolled up to his elbows.

And once again, her mind drifted off in wonder. At just how many times those arms had been wrapped around her, holding her body to his as he made love to her. Her eyes drifted further up this time to his lips. And at last, she thought to herself. Just how many times had those lips crushed against hers as their lovemaking reached its peak, muffling the cries that came from within her. Her eyes left his lips only to gravitate toward his eyes.

But she immediately ceased her secret assault upon his body. Her eyes were met with his, the blue orbs staring back with a slight smirk upon his face. She was busted! He knew just exactly what she had been doing.

She refused to break the gaze as he continued to stare into her eyes, slowly lifting his glass to his lips as he drank the last remnants of his drink. Only to bring the glass back down and set it on top of the porch's railing. He slowly, seductively began walking toward her. His eye's refusing to break the contact that they had made. Her breath caught in her chest as she suddenly realized that this man was the only man who had ever literally taken her breath away.

He stopped just mere inches from her as she watched him make his way to the bottom step of the porch. The faint cries of the seagulls still in the distance. He reached his hand out to help her up the stairs and she couldn't help but to smile at the gesture.

"Chivalrous till the end, aren't we Day?" she quipped trying to break the tension that had just swallowed up the atmosphere.

"Welcome back to your castle my lady." He announced ignoring her perception of his chivalrous nature.

She chuckled a little. "Day, I don't know if you've noticed but this is only a two story beach house." She paused a moment as she looked around. "Hardly a castle... But I must admit I do like it."

"Good, because I designed the program for you a while back." He revealed. "It's nice to hear that you still approve."

She placed her hand in his as he helped her up the stairs as he jokingly stated.

"You know Day; I'm perfectly capable of walking up stairs by myself."

"I know and I'm perfectly capable of allowing you to be the independent woman that you are - just not when I'm around." He jested as he quickly held up a hand in defense from her narrowing eyes.

"I'm joking." He quickly corrected himself. "I love the woman that you are and I would never change anything about you."

"And..." she insisted.

He paused at the top of the stairs as he took her into his arms. She welcomed the embrace and nuzzled her face into his neck as he lightly kissed her hair.

"And...We can do whatever you wish." He offered emphasizing his next words as he leaned back to look at her once again. "_I - _will do whatever you wish."

"Well, that's nice to know silly but I was mainly referring to how the program came about." She volunteered breaking the tension slightly.

Despite where her thoughts were going earlier while taking in his body. She still wasn't sure if she was ready to go there just yet. And considering the way he just whispered those words to her, the situation could quickly gravitate in that direction. And she would be helpless to stop it. She found that she wanted to learn more about him. More about their relationship and he seemed more than happy to oblige her.

"Well, when we first met you always used to talk about the beaches on Earth and how much you enjoyed visiting them while in the Academy." He paused a moment. "You later revealed that your greatest desire was to one day have a house on the beach after you retired from Starfleet."

"I do love the beach." She stated.

"I know." He whispered.

"While at the academy?" She ceased a moment and then corrected herself, mentally realizing that she was no longer enrolled at the academy despite her insistent memories of still being there. "When - I was at the academy I used to always sneak away to the beach and sit upon the shore. It was my refuge from all the stress that academy induced."

Day smiled from the memory she had just shared and nodded out toward the beach.

"This beach here is Saint Barth's of the Caribbean Islands. It is located near the Leeward Islands and its land mass is approximately 21.0 kilometers which is exactly 8.1 square miles. It is universally known for its beautiful beaches, which are..."

The soft rhythm of her hands caressing his back immediately halted him from volunteering the rest of the information. Tasha chuckled a little to herself pulling back from the embrace to look into his eyes.

"Just stick to the specific's Day." She jokingly added.

"My apologies...a bad habit I suppose, forgive me." He confessed shrugging his shoulders.

"It's okay, please continue."

"I created this program for you as a birthday gift." He paused for a moment as he decided to reveal the other reason that drove him to the program's creation. "And as an apology shortly after the Tsiolkovsky virus." He softly added.

"Why did you apologize for that? It was me who seduced you!" She admitted.

He smiled a little from the memory that her words invoked. "I believe you were embarrassed from the rendezvous that we had and... I displayed a deplorable lack of resistance I'm afraid."

She looked almost confused. "Why would I be embarrassed over you?" She asked.

He slightly shook his head no. "I believe it was from you allowing a man so close to you again." He solemnly answered.

"Oh, I see...Did I forgive you?" She asked out of curiosity.

"You did but I had a hell of a time getting you out of your quarters just so I could show you what I had done." He smiled lightly to himself.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Well, it's nothing romantic I'm afraid." He maintained.

She nodded her head in the direction of the waves that were crashing upon the shore. No words were needed as he heeded to her silent request, releasing her from the embrace she gently reached to take his hand in hers as they headed toward the waves to walk alongside them.

"Nevertheless, I would still like to hear It." she requested.

"I finally got you out of your quarters despite how unwilling you were to go. And then after I walked you through the program you started crying when I told you why I created it."

"From being overwhelmed by the gesture?" She softly asked.

"I would like to think so." He paused a moment and then continued. "Eventually this became our spot, at first as friends and then later on as love-." He stopped before allowing the word to completely leave his lips. He shyly looked away from her, off into the distance toward the sunset.

She could tell he stopped the slip up from proceeding forth but she still knew exactly what he was about to say. They shared this program as lovers. This was their escape as a couple away from all the prying eyes, the away missions, and their duty on board the Enterprise. It was their solace, a paradise that only the two shared together. And it was created for the sole purpose of one person in mind, _her!_ It was created to please her.

The gesture seemed to touch her all over again. He seemed to stop walking as she joined him in silence, both watching as the sun descended lower and lower from the sky. She marveled at the pinks and oranges that intermingled together above the Caribbean water.

She held tightly to his hand as she lowered herself to sit down upon the beach. He followed her suit and sat down beside her. She nuzzled in a little closer to him and smiled as he placed his arm around her waist, holding her to him. Both watched in silence.

_This was nice _she thought. It was peaceful here. And it was all the more special because of the man beside her. She couldn't resist looking at him as she shot him a quick sideways glance. He seemed content, just as she was. And she thought vaguely back to her childhood dreams.

"You know when I was a little girl, I hardly ever had time to just sit and dream about what I would like to become, how I wanted my life to be, _who_ I wanted to be." He turned slightly to look at her as a small smile formed upon her lips as she continued. "I was always too busy trying to avoid the rape gangs. But I had the fortune of coming across this old lady when I was about twelve. She was almost a grandmother figure to me. She took care of me and loved me and for a few years I was able to see what it would have been like if I had been given a normal childhood."

She paused as Day leaned in and gently kissed the top of her forehead.

Tasha embraced the comfort that he had just placed upon her and continued on. "She later died and I took her last name when I was rescued by Starfleet."

Day raised his eyebrows at the information that she had just revealed. She had never mentioned the grandmother figure before. Nor had she ever revealed that Yar was not truly her last name. She was probably too young to even remember her real last name, considering her parents died at the age of five. He sat ever still as her voice gently finished.

"But when I was in her care, I would often dream of how nice it would have been to just be a normal child, to not be afraid to go to sleep at night." She chuckled a little to herself as she added. "I would fantasize that I was the granddaughter of some Grand Duchess, hence the old lady that took care of me. And we would be admired by the world. We would no longer have to scavenge for food nor fight to avoid being harmed by men. But instead we would be cherished and honored by them, like in the fairytales."

Day held her gaze as she shyly looked away and solemnly admitted. "It was a foolish dream I suppose."

Day reached out to caress her cheek, gently turning her eyes back to his to as he declared.

"I don't think it's foolish at all...When I was a boy I wished for the same thing." He paused a moment. "But unlike you, I wished to be out of the limelight. It seems I will now and forever be known as_ Soong's Son_." He said the words with distaste.

She knew exactly what he meant. Of course he was Dr. Soong's son but he wished it could have been more manageable than that. He desired the privacy that others had, instead of it always being in the public's eye due to his father's accomplishments and failures. He never asked to be brought into that and wished as a child he was immune to the emotions that were thrown upon him because of it.

She found herself quickly missing his touch as he pulled his hand from her cheek. He pulled his knees up and propped his arms upon them. She watched in amazement as his toes kneaded into the sand that surrounded them. She couldn't resist doing the same as his voice broke the silence that had fallen between them.

"When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, I all alone be weep my outcast state and trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries. And look upon myself and curse my fate. Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, featured like him, like him with friends possess'd, desiring this man's art and that man's scope. With what I most enjoy contented least. Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising." He paused a moment but only a moment as he turned, peering desperately into her eyes as he finished. "Haply I think on thee, and then my state. Like to the lark at break of day arising. From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate; for thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings. That then I scorn to change my state with kings."

Her breath caught in her throat from his words. And for a second time that night, this man had wrought her breathless. His eyes were a deadly shade of blue as they pierced into the very heart of her. She wasn't sure who moved first, whether it was him or her. She really didn't care at this point. All she really cared about right now. At this particular moment was the need that seemed to be welling up inside her, the desire to have his lips upon hers.

Time seemed to stand still. She had never anxiously awaited a kiss with such anticipation. With so much want and desire beckoning to be set free by just one sweet tender kiss upon her lover's part.

Finally, his lips slowly but sensually fell upon hers. And the anticipation of it did not disappoint as his tongue gently parted her lips, desperately seeking permission to enter. She willingly obliged as she opened herself to him.

The kiss quickly began to intensify, the air becoming electric between the two. Day slowly moved his hand behind her neck as he pulled her further into the kiss, purely from the need to feel more of her, to have her closer. The ache was becoming too overwhelming.

She longed to feel not only his lips upon her but his body as well. She slowly began lowering herself down to rest upon the sand, pulling him with her. Their tongues dancing against one another as the kiss began demanding more. Her hands began roaming all over his body, pulling him over to completely rest on top of her.

And she silently cursed herself for the inability to withhold the moan that escaped her lips, emitting her disapproval of him breaking the kiss. But she was quickly satisfied with the replacement of his lips upon her neck, as they traveled further down, reaching the sensitive spot between her neck and collar bone.

His kisses softly nipping away as he licked his way back up the valley he had just lavished with kisses, only to take her earlobe within his mouth. Gently and ever so softly sucking on it, sending shivers down the length of Tasha's body. He couldn't resist the smile of triumph that came across his face as her moans only furthered his belief that he was most definitely doing something right.

Tasha's body began to writhe beneath him desperately seeking some type of relief. She was driving him mad as she would brush herself against his evident desire, moans escaping both of their lips as she would do so.

Her hands began to nervously pull up the hem of his shirt only to reveal what little skin it could in that position. His hands glided down her sides and back up as one found her breast. He began gently kneading it as his lips released her earlobe and slowly descended back down, stopping only to taste her lips once more before proceeding further down her neck. His hand slowly pulling the collar of her shirt down as he assaulted each spot revealed with his lips.

"Oh God, Day...Don't Stop..." Tasha pleaded.

And then…the ultimate joy-kill.

"Lieutenant Yar, please report to my ready room." The Captains voice filled the air causing the electricity that surged between them to quickly dissipate.

Day immediately ceased his onset of kisses upon her, only to rest his head in the apex of her shoulder and neck, both panting from the forbidden passion that seemed to overtake them. Finally Tasha was able to answer in return to the Captain's request.

"I'm on my way, Sir!" She panted.

And then once again the Captain's voice came through, questioningly.

"Lieutenant, _is _Commander Soong with you by chance?" The curiosity was evident in his voice.

Day quickly raised his head up in alarm as Tasha met his eyes desperately searching for the answer within them. Day silently nodded his head yes as she responded to the Captain.

"Yes Sir, He is." She replied hesitantly.

Picard spoke up once again with discernment. "Bring him as well, this involves him too."

"Yes Sir." They both quipped out.

And Tasha couldn't help but to visualize the Captain outwardly wincing from their folly.

"Picard out."

Tasha began to giggle from the fact that they had just been busted. As if they were two teenagers seeking a moment of refuge from an overbearing father. Well, it was too late to try and hide it now. The Captain was by no means stupid. He had to know now. She looked down to see Day blankly staring at her in return as her giggles ceased, only to hear him inquire straight-faced.

"Do you think he knows?"

Tasha busted out laughing once again, choking out between giggles. "I-believe-so."

She answered honestly as Day began rising to his feet, offering her a hand to help her do the same.

"Well, I guess it's time to go face the music then." Day admitted.

They both headed toward the exit of the holodeck as Tasha inquired.

"So Day, tell me, where did you learn that little poem?" She asked out of curiosity.

"It's Shakespeare's 29th sonnet."

Tasha's eyes widened as she jokingly added.

"Wow, you are quite romantic aren't you?"

"Only with you…." Day repeated in honesty.

**-x-x-x-x-**

**Author's Notes: Here is a long overdue chapter to this story. Sorry guys, I've just been a bit pre-occupied with all the other stories that are stirring around in my head. I promise I haven't abandoned this one. But in all honesty, I've been seriously thinking about taking the "complete" status off of "Within the Confines of Time" and taking the story a little further. It just seems so unfinished to me and I think I'm cheating you guys out of seeing the outcome of Data/Tasha. I've realized that I could follow the couple a lot further throughout the wedding and the pregnancy. The Epilogue could take place possibly five years into the marriage to give everyone an insight as to how they are doing as a couple. Not sure if the story is getting a bit too long or if you guys want more of it, either way, I think this is my decision. So I hope you guys will still enjoy the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. **


	15. Freedom To Choose

"_**If Only"**_

_**Chapter 15 ~ "Freedom to Choose"**_

_**-x-x-x-x-**_

Day and Tasha reluctantly walked into Captain Picard's ready room, only to see three chairs on the opposite side of his desk, one of them occupied by Dr. Crusher. They demurely took their seat in unison, unsure of the Captain's incentive behind the sudden meeting.

Beverly awkwardly turned her head toward the couple in question, once their eyes briefly met, she quickly looked away. Day was becoming more and more uncomfortable by the moment and it was slowly angering him, fully aware that the situation was causing Tasha to become uneasy as well.

"Sir, May I ask what this is about?" Day inquired, keeping his voice at a minimum.

Picard's eyes darted to his security chief and then back toward his second in command.

"It's concerning Lieutenant Yar."

Tasha and Day shared a quizzical look.

"What about me, Sir."

"I was approached yesterday afternoon by Darryl Adin…He believes that he could use your assistance in the Rutian negotiations."

Tasha resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her ex-lover's tenacity. She ventured a look at Day, who was now staring at the floor.

"Now, I have been discussing your condition with Dr. Crusher for quite some time and personally, we both have come to the understanding that you just aren't up to par to pursue this type of endeavor as of now."

"Sir, with all due respect, I've only lost seven years of my life not my mind. I can still perform my duties in that aspect."

"Tasha…" Data whispered. "You can't even run tactical without Worf watching your every move. Perhaps, assigning you to the negotiations would be a bit premature on our part. Let Dare handle it."

Tasha eyes narrowed in displeasure from the betrayal. "You just told me this morning that you thought it would be good for me…" She didn't bother hiding the malice in her voice. "And now you're back-peddling, saying it's too soon."

"Tasha, please…just hear them out."

"Oh, I plan to…" She snapped. "As long as you stop allowing your personal feelings to interfere with your obligations to Starfleet."

Picard lightly leaned forward onto his desk, his hands firmly crossed before him as he fixed his gaze on his Security Chief. "Natasha…" He spoke softly. "Commander Soong _is_ acting in the interest of the fleet… And yours as well."

"Sure doesn't feel like it."

The remark caused the Captain's eyes to go from soft to stern. Beverly quickly noticed the delayed eruption and immediately spoke up to keep the situation under control.

"Tasha, no one here is trying to hurt you but it is my professional opinion that if you allow yourself to divulge in the past events of your life, then the likelihood of you regaining your memories back are slim to none."

"And by divulging in the past – you mean Dare, right?"

Tasha disregarded the glowering look Day was shooting in her peripheral, as she continued to look back and forth from Picard to Crusher.

Picard leaned back in his chair, pulling the front of his uniform down, clearly pondering his answer.

"Let me ask you a question, Lieutenant." The formalities in the Captain's tone long gone. "Do you believe it to be a wise choice for anyone to dwell on their past? In fact, if I recall correctly you endured years of therapy trying to overcome your childhood on Turkana. Why was that?"

"Because it was hell, Sir…You know that?"

"I am curious, what if your memories of Turkana were all that you had left and you were being asked to re-visit the colony in your state…As your superior and your friends, would you believe it a wise course of action for us to agree?"

"But this is completely different."

"Answer the question, Lieutenant?"

Tasha sat up straighter in her chair, her jaw set firm in defeat. "No, I wouldn't."

"Then you have to understand our concerns for your well-being…The past is not a logical place to be."

"But what if that past triggers the present?"

Picard shared a look between Beverly and Day, noting the worry furrowed on Day's visage.

"She does have a valid point." Dr. Crusher admitted.

"Doctor, I'm curious, is it wise for the patient to work around the clock with a man who represents a predominant part of her earlier life? Do you not view that as unhealthy?"

Tasha arched a brow in question, immediately talking over Beverly. "Sir, I'm a little perplexed here...Where does your concern lie, with me doing the negotiations in my state or with me interacting with Dare?"

"Both!" Picard admitted adamantly. "This is not a matter to be taken lightly."

Tasha looked at Day, waiting for him to bail her out. "You just going to sit there and not say anything."

He refused to meet her obvious scrutiny. Instead, he ventured a look toward the Captain.

"Sir, I believe I know of a way to solve this little problem without endangering Tasha's health."

"Good…Then fill me in!"

Day looked a little apprehensive. "I need you to trust me, Sir. For now, with your permission, I would like to inform Lieutenant Yar of my plans and then speak with you later."

Picard eyed him suspiciously, contemplating his suggestion. "Permission granted, dismissed."

Tasha abruptly shot up from her chair and exited the ready room with Day hot on her heels. She stormed up the ramp that led to the turbo-lift, ignoring the curious looks of the crew. Day kept cautiously looking at her from the corner of his eye as she waited impatiently for the lift to arrive. Once it did, she quickly entered with the doors closing behind Day. Swiftly, she turned on him, the icy stare of her eyes telling him exactly where she thought he could go.

"Am I to always expect this sort of unpredictable behavior from you or was I so enthralled with you before that I simply overlooked your indecisiveness toward me?"

Day arched an eye, completely baffled.

She harshly pushed her index finger into his chest. "Oh you know, one – you being so wishy-washy….Two – you kissing Captain Picard's ass all the time…And three – you throwing me under the bus like you just did."

Day pointed back toward the direction of the ready room, the lift still lying motionless from both occupants inadvertently forgetting to give the command to their new destination.

"I was looking out for your welfare back there. If Dr. Crusher believes that you interacting with a man whom _you_ _remember everything about..!_" He shouted the last four words. "Is unwise, then as your superior I am inclined to agree."

"Why is that, Day…Because their decision suits you?"

"No because the decision ensured your safety as an officer who is still under medical care." Tasha crossed her arms, obviously not convinced. "Half an hour ago you accused me of allowing my personal feelings to get in the way, now you are accusing me of not doing my job."

She continued to glare at him. Day narrowed his eyes as the thought hit him, returning her disapproval with a knowing look.

"I see what this is really about…" He accused, as if the rose colored glasses had finally been removed.

Tasha rolled her eyes and snorted a lofty laugh. "Oh please inform me, Commander Soong."

"This has absolutely nothing to do with me at all, does it?"

Tasha's eyes widened in horror from his claims, she knew exactly where he was going with this.

"This is about Dare and you wanting to have at least some type of contact with him without hurting me in the process. At least if Captain Picard ordered you to help him, then that would give you the excuse you needed to be around him, wouldn't it?"

"That's absurd!"

"Is it?"

"Yes, it is….I mean honestly, how paranoid are you?"

"Why are you being so defensive, it's a simple question?" He fixed his eyes to hers; searching their depths for the truth she was trying so desperately to hide. "Go ahead, admit it?"

Tasha remained silent, even under the extreme pressure of his glare.

"Come on…I'm a big boy, I can take it!" Finally, his steely gaze got the better of her as she looked down.

"I see…" He shook his head incredulously. "Answer me in your typical _'Tasha'_ fashion…." Day bitterly slammed his hand against the doors of the lift, startling the brooding woman before him. "Whenever a question is too heated, avoid the fire, right?!"

"I think you are allowing your irrationality to blur the lines here."

Day clenched his jaw in fury. "I'm blurring the lines? How far are you willing to go to be with him? To what extent of depravity are you going to allow yourself to reach?"

Tears began welling up in Tasha's eyes, partly from his cold words and the other from her body's need to release her rage.

"Spit it out!" He demanded. "I would much rather you hurt me with the truth than mislead me with a lie!"

She hastily reached up to swipe away a rebellious tear, still refusing to speak.

He took a step closer to her, but his eyes held no remorse for her. "I'll tell you what…I'll make it easy on you, nothing like getting the ex's approval, huh?"

Tasha looked confused.

"Go to him…Hell, it's not like you remember _us_ anyways. So go do what you do best, Tasha!" His voice was rising again.

Tasha's voice matched his. "And exactly what is that, Day?"

"Go fuck him…Go ahead!"

Impulsively, she slapped his face, the action leaving both of them breathless as the doors hissed open. Only adding to the complexity of the situation, they both turned to see the senior staff solicitously gawking at them, obviously overhearing their rather boisterous altercation.

Riker was the first one to speak. "Is everything alright, Commander?"

"Yes, Sir….Just a small misunderstanding."

Will stood a little straighter, holding his head a little higher with knowledge from the obvious lie.

"Funny, it didn't appear to be a small."

Day stalked out of the turbo-lift, straight back into Picard's ready room. The Captain shared a troubled look with Riker before heading back toward the room his second in command now occupied.

"Do you require assistance, Lieutenant?" Worf asserted a little distraught.

She gave him a small smile in return. "No, Worf…I'm okay…Thanks though."

The doors closed once again…

_**-x-x-x-x-**_

Picard walked into his ready room to see Day sitting in his previous chair, with his head solemnly in his hands. His first intent was to reprimand his Commander for having a lover's quarrel in the turbo-lift, so loud that he feared the entire ship had heard. But once his eyes landed on his distraught form, he thought better about approaching the man as his commanding officer and more as a father figure he so humbly viewed him as.

He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as he sat down beside him.

"Consider the problem solved." Day offered restlessly.

"I'm not sure I follow you, Commander."

"Well, now she can't be enervated by joining the negotiations because I just gave her exactly what she wanted."

"And what was that?"

"Her freedom to choose."

Picard heaved a deep sigh. "Day, are you sure you want to do this? Pushing her away want help matters…Do you understand the magnitude of what you've done?"

"Unfortunately, I do…" Day finally lifted his hand from his hands. "Sir, while I was sitting here earlier, all I kept thinking about was Tasha's question." He caught the Captain's curious look. "I mean, what if Dare does hold the key to triggering her memories. What is the past, except a forerunner to the present…?" He shook his head in agitation. "I don't know, maybe if she goes to him, somehow he can help bring her back to me."

"Or take her away altogether." Picard added troubled.

Day looked down, trying to suppress the evidence of his overwhelming fear.

"I guess that's a risk I am just going to have to take."

_**-x-x-x-x-**_

_**Author Notes: I know it's been a while since I've updated this story but I just mainly wanted everyone to know that I promise to not leave it unfinished. You just have to bear with me; I've got six stories as of now that are in progress. So I have to write whichever one I see playing out the most in my mind at the time. Forgive me for the slow updates; I've had a lot going on…Hope you enjoy it...**_

_**Just a little reminder: 'Within the Confines of Time' and the final chapter of 'Tell Me No More Lies' will be updated tomorrow…Although 'Tell Me No More Lies' can be found on the default page. 'Parallels' was updated today but it is featured on the default page as well because it's a little naughty. Well, let's just say very naughty!**_


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